I used to think everything would be okay, if we gave it time all the problems would just go away we tried talk about it. I realized I love you with out a doubt. You say you love me and I know you do but I also know you still love other people. Its so hard to prove my love to you I try to deal with your personal stuff but it never seems to go away and I hope and try so hard to just get us back to how we used to be like that night we stayed up almost all night talking to each other for hours and hours. And at times I feel as if you don’t want the problems to go away.  And at the same time you just want to be with me. Then we have moments where you can make me feel that I am the luckiest guy alive to have someone as special as you and that I could never come down from this love.  It makes me feel that maybe just maybe love really does exist because over the years I grew to believe that love is nothing more than something people have when they have something they believe that they don’t deserve because everyone always wants what they cant have and you made me feel that there was a little bit of a chance that it could really be more then just that.  And then after a few great days I feel as if I mean nothing to you and you wont even give me the time of day.  And even tho I know you hurt me I cant help but let you keep hurting me because I care so much for you that I am willing to let you crush my heart over and over again just to keep you in my life. And I tell people this and they think I am stupid for it but they just don’t understand how deep I fell for you believing that I could be with you forever.  I know we have only been dating on and off for a month and 9 days but everyday of that month and 9 days I spent it just trying to be with you, talking to you, getting to know you, caring about you, getting you to care the same for me, and everyday we were together made me care even more for you.  When you don’t tell me the truth about things or don’t tell me the whole story why do you do that to me is it because your afraid to hurt me or is it something else?  I understand that you don’t like talking when you are stressed out but I wish you could see where I am at while your stressed out I am standing there confused hurt and just wanting to know why it happened and what I did to make this happen between us.  But instead you just try leaving me there standing and confused to try and figure it out on my own when all I want in the world is for you to just try and be there for me and help me understand.  Don’t take that as me trying to blame you for anything I just want you to know how much I’m hurting and I just need you there to help me. The reason for these letters I've wrote is because I always feel that you put up a wall and become defensive when I try to talk to you about how I feel and you get mad at me for trying to tell you how things are for me so you wont listen to me and just ignore how I feel.  I am still here for you if you ever decide I can be what you want. But that is your decision I will be waiting for you.
 I love you...