Hobot Musings-

Some rolled out of factories that make Dutch Gabber Techno sound like elevator music. others
came from the future on unknown missions. others crawled out of junkyards or fell out of
space. but they are all united under one goal: Total domination of the human race through 
Roller Derby. They are the HoBots, and they're here to crash your system.

Dahmernatron- Team Captain of the HoBots, Dahmernatron can frag other teams while
defragging their hard drives. While no one can quite remember if Dahmernatrix is a good 
HoBot gone bad, or whether she was programmed for violence and destruction from the 
start, one thing is clear: she sure is good at full-contact musical chairs. Dahmernatrix hopes 
to one day quit roller derby to start the WFCMCA (Women's Full Contact Musical Chairs 
Association), and possibly host the first national full-contact musical chairs tournament. Until 
then, she and her HoBot fleet will continue to prove that in the ever evolving sport of roller 
derby, HoBots have rendered humans obsolete.

Masheena Slaughter- the Sunshine Farms meat processing plant was the newest in the state.
fully automated, it only required one person to press a few buttons and it would spring into
action against dozens of unwitting cows. that is...until the computer virus hit. with screeching
gears, panicked cows and spinning blades flying everywhere, a set of infared sensors watched
the chaos, and a dangerous robot on skates emerged. born from a place that knows only 
blood, blades and death, MaSheena Slaughter has stepped off the line and onto the track 
with a vendetta against all living creatures. her razor sharp set of wings provide both defense
and offense in one efficiently deadly system.

Vixenator- She came from the 27th Century planet Ho-Botica to join the Ho-Bots and show 
these 21st Century derby girls how it’s done. Disguised as a tattooed, pierced, punk rock 
babe, she was put on planet Earth as a Prosti-tron to make all men fall at her feet and 
eventually render all women obsolete in the Ho-Bots quest for world domination. Equipped
 with state of the art, plasma-tronic, laser-guided v-27.0 motion tracking sensors, she zeroes 
in on her targets and blasts her way through the pack, clearing the way for her Jammer to 
score maximum points in her wake. She’s fueled by the alternative energy Cheesetotogen, 
and in her spare time enjoys plotting the demise of anything non Ho-Botic.

R2 BeatU- a meteor streaks through the sky above a desolate patch of 
desert near Albuquerque. days later, reports of people being beaten senseless by a young
woman clad in nothing but a few shreds of what seemed to be metal and carrying two giant
hammers began popping up. by sheer luck or a properly functioning tracker system, R2 found
her way to the HoBots junkyard base and has since joined the team. R2 communicates only
in a series of beeps, whistles, clicks, and profanity, but on the track the only point she needs
to get across is PAIN.

I, HoBot- 1. no robot may harm a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to
come to harm. 2. A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders 
would conflict with the First Law. 3. Who the hell wrote these laws? forget 1 and 2, get out
there and kick some ass, baby!
created as one of the first sentient service robots, I, HoBot was to become the first step in
US Robotics' hopefully illustrious robot manufacturing history. what really happened was that a 
USR programmer who will go unnamed decided to give this first prototype enhanced armor 
and a pair of skates, as well as a need to hit stuff. later that day, the programmer and the 
robot were reported missing, and I, HoBot rolled into the secret Junkyard Headquarters of 
team HoBots.

Bot-Bot-Bot- technically, she should be called Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-
Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-Bot-(ad infinitum). B3, as
she will be called for short, is actually composed of a swarm of microscopic nanobots that can
shift form at will. escaping from a robotics laboratory, B3 has been on the run ever since. given
her unique talents, she could look like anyone or anything, but has, for reasons beyond human
knowledge, chosen to take the form of a young woman on skates. after hearing of the lab
breakout, Dahmernatron had begun a search for this unique swarm of nanobots and upon 
finding her, offered protection from the laboratory in exchange for her skating skills.

Molotov Cocktease- originally a robot designed to work in biohazard situations, all the chemicals
she was exposed to messed with her circuits, creating a self-aware demolitions 'bot with
extensive knowledge of things that blow up and a deep bitterness towards the humans who forced
her to clean up their mistakes. she wields a set of micro-flamethrowers in the palms of her hands.

CatBot- Relying more on wits than mass, this HoBot spends her spare time soaking in the 
sunlight while dreaming of ways to wiggle her way through obstacles as they target her and 
miss. You can pick her out from a crowd by her sweet, innocent-looking demeanor, but 
don't be fooled. If you catch her attention, she may choose to annihilate you for fun!

Acious D- outfitted with enhanced vision, antigrav hover-wing assemblies, and a large polearm
designed for lifting, Acious was originally meant as a search and rescue bot. what happened
next was anybody's guess as after her first successful mission she went AWOL and showed up
on the HoBot's doorstep muttering about "ingrateful meatbags."