hello its the person with the longwinded question about abigail and will and hannibal in daddy kinks the one whose dad died at 16

i have to be honest it took me so long to reply because wow you hit me dead on with every bit i was so shocked it hit me hard lol

yes i did mean he would call me daddy lol. i used to identify as a trans man then, it was a t4t relationship, but currently i socially detransitioned just because of social pressure so i usually get she/her’d. i don’t mind it i guess but i am happy to be referred to as he/they regardless of appearance. i would be more neutral if having a more feminine look didnt get me better tips at work lol

i can absolutely see my appeal in fantasizing about hannibal in a way that particularly softens emotional shortcomings and focuses on his intelligence and authority. his intelligence was something i admired and wanted to emulate to make him proud. ive been talking in therapy lately about how my intelligence is the only thing i find consistent and recognizable in myself, and i rely on it to identify myself because of the standards my father set so young. so damn u got me

this is probably tmi but you’re so absolutely right. i saw a guy recently and explored into more rough dynamics in bed, and i’m not even going to lie when he said i was making him proud, and how happy i was making him ??….. lets just say it totally broke me and i had a great time. i kept asking him to repeat it. this guy is a few years older than me but in a significantly more mature approach to life. so i felt like daddy issues central but i couldnt help the way it made me feel.

and man, i cant even begin ti start with how hard you hit me with the next couple paragraphs. i can see now you’ve connected the dots how my want for fatherly approval so easily connects to the nature of these characters and my relationship with him, especially because these characters have such a different perception and emphasis on death. makes me think about him anyway.

and i appreciate your piece particularly on humiliation and embracing it in a safe way for what it is; a desire seeking to replace a lack of something that is not abnormal to want. makes me feel a lot better about my personal exploration of these views whether it’s in fic or irl. i couldnt tell you how long jt wouldve taken me to put these things together 🫶

Aw hello, so nice to hear from you again. I’m so glad you resonated with my analysis. Yes, it’s wonderful to finally make that shift from pain to pleasure and navigate better the wounds of trauma. Sex is a powerful tool for healing and I’m glad you are feeling more comfortable and confident in your desires <3