We don’t want them to kiss/have sex because we’ve been conditioned to validate love through physicality. We want it because their desire for one another could only be quenched in totality. Soul, mind and body. It’s too much, it transcends humanity. They become animals when facing the availability of fully having one another.
Every time i see a post that justifies sex as conjoined totality of two souls, I realize how love is so intertwined with physicality that they’re seen as almost synonymous. How can you love someone deeply and not worship the very essence of their body in a sexual way? Want them like you’re deprived of air?
Amatonormativity is a bitch and of course, an ace will always feel invalidated. Does that mean totality of being can only be achieved through sexual physicality? Can the ferocity of love never be in the comforts of silence? Of clutches in the dark? Of conversation by a warm fire and warm eyes?
Asexual desire — of love not defined by this amatonormative hold — can it ever be quenched? Asexual love….can it ever be enough?
Once again, the discussion is derailed by ace projection. This is precisely why it’s difficult to engage in meaningful dialogue when we critique the tendency to center every narrative around personal experience. Nearly every post I’ve made about Hannigram and sexuality ends up attracting a response rooted in asexual projection.
You’ve said you don’t believe Will feels sexual attraction toward Hannibal and ended it with “fight me on it.” But truly, no one is interested in “fighting” you on it. There’s no productive ground for discussion when the framework you’re operating from is fundamentally detached from the dynamics being explored. Any attempt to engage is met with distortion, bending canon, people’s words, and subtext to fit an ideological mold, then positioning yourselves as the marginalized voices silenced by the sexual majority.
But what’s continually demonstrated, post after post, is that it’s not about being silenced. It’s about how often expressions of sexuality are demonized, diminished, or shamed within these projections. If you feel that your vision of “asexual love” is constantly invalidated or “not enough,” perhaps the more constructive path is self-reflection or even therapy, rather than using others’ spaces as dumping grounds for unresolved frustrations.
Your contributions don’t clarify your stance, they obscure the conversation, reduce the richness of the narrative, and ultimately reveal a refusal to see beyond your projection. I recently came across a video of an ace person discussing exclusion within the LGBTQ+ community, and while exclusion is a valid topic, the irony is how frequently this community turns around and casts judgment, positioning sexual people as shallow, inferior, or incapable of genuine love simply because we include sex in our experiences.
How are we supposed to include you in these discussions when you enter them not to listen or build understanding, but to impose judgment? The exhaustion doesn’t come from disagreement. It comes from the cycle: project, distort, judge, then claim victimhood. It’s no mystery why your experience often feels isolating. It’s not retribution. It’s consequence.