Hello! I just wanted to say thank you. That may seem odd, but I think like 2-3ish months ago or so, I came across your posts and analyses, and I honestly love them so much. I mostly want to say thank you (and @suchawrathfullamb) for that one post y'all made on May 27th about people who shame those who write and/or consume taboo content. I will be honest, I was one of those people. And what you said about projection, was and is so true, at least for me.
I struggle with OCD, including moral OCD. My obsessions are often extremely, extremely dark and disturbing, so much so that I haven't said a single one of them (besides my more tame ones) to anyone, including those who are there to help me. Whenever I get one of these intrusive thoughts, I feel terrible, and that if I don't comply with my compulsions, then they'll become true, that I'll become a horrible, disgusting and vile person. When I saw others delving into more dead dove content, even those with OCD themselves and especially them, I always thought they were disgusting. I thought they were horrible people. I don't know how I didn't realize I was projecting there.
Your post was like a slap in the face lol, in the best way. It forced me to come to terms with my feelings. It made me uncomfortable, and then it made me question why I was so uncomfortable.
It's odd to me that I was so averse towards dead dove content/taboo works, despite dabbling into it myself. I never really fully jumped in; I only really read more gorey and violence filled fics and yandere tropes. I didn't publicly shame others for what they consumed or engaged in, but I always internally shamed them, which was also just a way of shaming myself too even though I didn't realize it, I suppose.
Anyways, again thank you and suchawrathfullamb for calling people out. It was a major wake-up call, and I don't know how long it would have taken me to come to terms with my feelings (or if ever). I still struggle with them, but I'm just glad I was able to see things in a different light. Also, I'm sorry people are so shitty on here and just everywhere in general. I hope you enjoy your time away from here and remember to take care of yourself! I wasn't here long, but I'm glad I stumbled across your blog. :D
P.S. Sorry for the shit you get from some ace people. Just know not all ace people are like that. I'm ace myself, and I personally believe Hannibal and Will were or would get it jiggy with one another LMAO.
P.S.S. I know you recently said you will be deleting your blog. This is why I decided to finally say thank you. I wanted to do it before you left. Are you comfortable with me archiving your blog on the WayBackMachine, or would you prefer for your followers to just screenshot your posts and keep them? I'll do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. :)
This is so important, thank you so much for sharing this. You have no idea how brave and self aware you are for facing this. Most people will remain on the side of shame and shaming. You give me hope in humanity. You truly, truly do. And on archiving, I’d rather you save the blog privately for yourself <3.
Oh, and about ace people, it’s not the reason I decided to slowly retreat…It’s people in general lol. I’m finding it hard to consume on social media, everything feels frustrating and exhausting to me. Lots of crazy opinions and behavior that are just sad. Anyway, tysm for sharing this, it means a lot, specially as someone in the psych field who fights for shame healing specifically!