April 2025

The Abyss Stares Back

“He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

I. Apollo vs. Dionysus: Two Suns of Existence

The ancient Greeks named two gods to express the war inside existence:

Apollo, god of reason, form, clarity, measure.

Dionysus, god of chaos, passion, intoxication, destruction.

Nietzsche, in The Birth of Tragedy, does not ask you to choose between them.

He shows you that both are necessary.

Art, life itself, emerges where these forces collide and dance.

Apollo builds temples, straight lines, golden proportions.

Dionysus tears them down, laughing, wild with the ecstasy of life’s raw, inarticulate surge.

One demands order.

The other demands obliteration.

Together, they forge tragedy, beauty, and horror in a single breath.

To live is to be stretched between these poles:

The longing for order, and the seduction of chaos.

The dream of meaning, and the scream of meaninglessness.

Where do you live, most of the time?

In the temple?

Or in the fever dream?

II. Master and Slave Morality: The Will Behind Good and Evil

When you call something “good,” whose voice is speaking?

Yours, or the voice of the herd?

In On the Genealogy of Morality, Nietzsche dismantles the illusion that morality is eternal or universal.

He shows morality as the expression of power…or the lack of it.

Master morality is born from strength.

It defines good as nobility, vitality, power itself.

Evil is weakness, sickness, pettiness.

Slave morality is born from resentment.

It defines good as humility, meekness, suffering.

Evil becomes strength, pride, joy.

The weak, unable to triumph directly, redefine triumph itself as evil.

They invent guilt, shame, and the virtue of submission.

Morality becomes a weapon of the defeated.

Nietzsche’s point is not who is “right.”

There is no outside standard.

There is only the will to power, and its endless disguises.

When you say, “This is good,” ask yourself:

Is it a cry of power, or a cry for power?

III. Becoming vs. Being: Dance or Monument?

Western philosophy worshiped Being, static, eternal, unchanging truth.

But Nietzsche shifts the ground beneath our feet:

There is no being. There is only becoming.

Endless transformation. Mutation. Birth and death in every moment.

To cling to “truth” is to cling to a corpse.

The healthy soul, Nietzsche says, is a dancer, light, cruel, creative.

To live is not to fix identity in stone, but to embrace the flux:

To say yes to destruction, to contradiction, to metamorphosis without end.

Who are you trying to become?

A monument, or a movement?

IV. The Eternal Return: Would You Live This Again?

Imagine that one night, a demon whispers in your ear,

“This life, as you now live it, you must live again, and again, forever.”

Every pain, every joy, every humiliation, every ecstasy, an endless loop. No escape. No redemption.

Would you curse the demon?

Or would you embrace him?

The doctrine of the Eternal Return is not cosmology.

It is a test.

It asks: Are you living a life you would want to repeat endlessly?

Not someday. Not after you fix it.

Now.

The Eternal Return demands that you become amor fati, the lover of your fate.

Not a martyr. Not a victim.

But the artist of your own recurrence.

To say “yes” to every moment.

Even to the abyss.

Especially to the abyss.

V. Final Provocation: When the Abyss Gazes Into You

When you confront the void,

you do not merely study it.

It studies you.

It reshapes you.

You think you can look at power, chaos, darkness safely, as if you are an observer, untouched.

You cannot.

The more clearly you see the abyss,

the more clearly it sees you.

Until you realize:

You are not standing on the edge.

You are already inside it.

-

Suggested assignment:

1. Write a letter to yourself as if you have already lived your life a thousand times.

2. In that letter, answer: What would you change? What would you affirm?

Let the voice be brutal. Let it be merciful. But above all, let it be honest.

Worst parallel to Will and Hannibal was definitely horse guy and Peter. Peter was genuinely good. Will was so eager to think they were the same, to empathize, feel less alone in his pain, yet…In the end, what matters most is exactly what he told Peter himself, “I envy your hate”. As much as Will wanted to relate to Peter, he still chooses to let his killer live. He would always choose his killer. And he knows. It’s why, when Hannibal suggests that Peter is in the same darkness as him, Will says “I’m alone in that darkness”.

hello milk! feel free to ignore this if it feels too personal.

i read that you’re a psych major, are you also seeking to become a therapist or are you already a therapist? just curious because i love the way you psycho analyze things.

Hello! I am primarily a researcher. I have worked as a therapist in the past, and funnily enough I’ve counseled some fannibals after starting this blog! I guess it’s comforting to talk to someone you can divulge your strange fantasies about freely because you know they appreciate the obscure haha <3