(Uncensored under the cut) (it’s not that explicit but just in case) (like apparently nudity is ok now but I don’t trust it, I’ve had way less explicit drawings flagged)
listen, i’m just asking questions, and that question happens to be: What if Admiral Sarpedon was Actually Like, Mega Hot, & Harrow Just Simply Didn’t Notice Because She’s a Massive Lesbian
y'know what? good for admiral sarpedon. he’s put up with john gaius for most of his adult life, probably! let the man have some goddick without all the negative context of jod’s crimes weighing my boy sarpedon down. it’s sad and cringey for jod but sarpedon don’t need to know that
he said “the ships. the ships were still full of people, i reached our hand out into space. i extended. i struggled” – “then, they were gone…lost to me in time, forever. that’ll teach me not to hesitate.”
he said “the ships. the ships were still full of people, i reached our hand out into space. i extended. i struggled” – “then, they were gone…lost to me in time, forever. that’ll teach me not to hesitate.”
he said “the ships. the ships were still full of people, i reached our hand out into space. i extended. i struggled” – “then, they were gone…lost to me in time, forever. that’ll teach me not to hesitate.”
On the one hand I am ready for Alecto and John to have an epic showdown in the last book.
On the other hand…. listen, they love each other. They need each other. Neither of them can die while the other lives!!
So I am also ready for Toxic Power Couple Alecto and John, each working towards their own ends, casually killing each other when they disagree, and utterly terrifying when their purposes align.
I am never going to forgive Cristabel for what she did to Mercymorn. Inflicted on her the same “cruellest thing anyone has ever done to you” that Gideon did on Harrow, but without the same pressures. No one was banging down the door threatening to kill them both. She didn’t have to choose between watching Mercy die and dying for her. When Cristabel violently manipulated Mercy into lyctorhood, she did it with fore-thought. She planned it. Fuck her.
Thinking of how the way Cristabel’s death is framed in HtN is one of the MOST narrative choices of the series. It’s all: She died. It made everyone around her very sad. It’s presented as something that happened to her instead something Cristabel did on her own volition, because everyone who knew her has long ago decided how they were going to remember it and crystalized into those roles. Augustine blames her loudly and often but it’s all oblique; he doesn’t explain his reasons in a way that can be picked up at first glance, because to him they are bitter old news and he’s not having that fight again. For the reader is just a scavenger’s hunt in unreliable narrator land.
I think a core trait of Mercymorn’s character is that she has been pissed off at Cristabel for millenia and has never been in a position where she could admit it to herself. Augustine is free to hate her, but he does it in a way that he puts Mercy in the position where she has to defend the person who traumatized her, because if she doesn’t speak up for Cristabel who will? It’s a betrayal. John is John; he’s the kind of person to put ‘she had good intentions’ ahead of ‘she did actual harm to people’ and go along with Mercy talking about what a tragedy it was. Mercymorn has never had the possibilty to just yell at Cristabel because she made herself keeper of her memory; she carries the title of saint but it’s Cristabel she santified. I do think part of her envies how loud Augustine is about his hatred, and I also think she channelled a lot of this in how she feels about John, whom she worships and resents and hate at the same time. When she breaks down telling John that none of them had to die, she is taking out her anger at Cristabel. I mean, John deserves it! But so does Cristabel and Mercy never lets herself deal with that.
i truly and sincerely struggle to imagine john actually giving ANY kind of sex talk that doesn’t start with “well, when a person and 8 of their closest friends—“, or “when a man and at minimum one (1) entire squadron of soldiers—“…
thinking about how Nona thought that her eyes were so beautiful and it’s probably because they’re Johns eyes
thinking about how Nona said that she hates red heads and it’s probably because John had a baby with a red head
thinking about how Alecto and John are mutually in love with each other and while it’s messy and fucked up it’s not a one sided thing and that love effects Nona’s feelings even without any memory of having been Alecto at all
Feeling personally victimized by tumblr user @tony-buddenbrook this evening [x]. Congratulations for unlocking one extra layer of HURT that I hadn’t even considered after rereading that chapter like half a dozen times
the relationship the cohort has with john gaius is so fucking funny. some soldiers revere him so much they commit ritual suicide just to show their piety. some soldiers are taught by him how to make radio static sounds with your mouth. other soldiers are fucking him.
he said “the ships. the ships were still full of people, i reached our hand out into space. i extended. i struggled” – “then, they were gone…lost to me in time, forever. that’ll teach me not to hesitate.”
ALT
