nona brainrot
not pictured: magnus (would never do a crime), marta dyas (would never do a crime where anyone might see), isaac and jeannemary (the pents would maneuver them out of trouble), ortus nigenad (???), numerous well-deserving others
judith | jod | palamedes | cytherea | wake (lol) | coronabeth | mercymorn | ianthe | harrow | nona | silas | gideon | augustine | camilla | pyrrha / g1deon | abigail | alecto
Magnus - a slew of petty misdemeanors, all objectively funny & documented on TikTok.
Marta Dyas - only war crimes, sir. (Her commanding officer is in front of The Hague.)
Pelleamena & Priamhark - Only war crimes, sir, and it was worth it. (They hang themselves in prison.)
Jeannemary Chatur - be gay, do crimes, get charged as a minor & released.
Issac Tettares - Magnus picks him up after a cop gives him a stern lecture for jaywalking.
Ortus Nigenad - sadly, can’t be arrested for busking without a permit.
Colum Asht - would never do a crime.
Our Lady of the Passion - (on the run will never be caught)
Hot Sauce - attempted war crimes, is charged as a minor and released.
Commander We Suffer and We Suffer - (on the run from war crimes tribunal, sells out Merv wing when captured and then kills herself before getting interrogated)
Naberius Tern - keeps trying to get charged with being “too sexy for his shirt”, ends up charged with contempt of court for interrupting proceedings for attention, Ianthe and Coronabeth forget him in jail and never post bail.
Kevin - has never done a crime. Cannot do a crime. Baby.
Noodle - his numerous crimes are probably what Alecto is about. Cannot be held accountable, because Noodle is a good boy, yes he is.