This passage of As Yet Unsent is hilarious because Judith has such an I’m Not Like Other Necromancers tone here but that is an ABYSMAL 1k time. As a 14 year old on the JV cross country team I could run 5ks at a 6.5min/1k pace and I wasn’t even good. As an out of shape adult whose suffered multiple ankle injuries I think I could make a 10 minute 1k at a brisk walk.
If Judith is an in shape example of a necromancer than Harrow must get winded trying to walk up stairs. Camilla must have to carry Palamedes’ space backpack around for him. Coronabeth was not being hyperbolic when she said Ianthe could not hold her arms up long enough to braid her hair. Jeannemary probably had take all of Isaac’s earrings on and off for him, lest he accidentally overexert himself.
Yeah, I think the fatigue levels for necromancers are intense. I have chronic health issues that make exercise pretty challenging, and 1k at any speed is gonna be rough on a lot of days. I hadn’t realized just how much necromancers struggle with their bodies on the whole! Innnnnteresting
Also interesting that this passage seems to say that it’s using necromancy that causes necromancers to be so unhealthy, it’s not just an inherent trait of people who are born with the ability. The fact that necromancers are still trained and even encouraged to use necromancy constantly, with no regard for how it impacts their health, certainly has some implications.
Who tf are you to judge her for all the murder, arson, property damage, robbery and other crimes that she probably committed? All that you should focus on and care about is the fact that she’s adorable, small, sad and needs all the hugs, kisses and affection in the universe.
you may find yourself living in a body that’s not yours and you may find yourself wanting to meet dogs and you may find yourself looking at a monstrous blue sphere in the sky and you may find yourself declining requests to be a weapon and you may find yourself dreaming of a beautiful girl, with a skull-painted face, and you may ask yourself well, how did I get here
did some important scientific research and counted every time someone says ‘fuck’ in the locked tomb series. huge props to awake remembrance of these valiant dead for having the greatest saying-fuck-to-screentime ratio out of anyone.
“The beguiling corpse is a remnant of spirit attached to a perfect and incorruptible body—that’s the idea, anyway—where what I’ll term the hideous corpse is a fully intact spirit attached permanently to a rotting body.”
GtN Chapter 32, p. 272 of 374, ebook
Nona is a (presumably) fully intact spirit in a (I’m assuming it’s Gideon’s body) perfect and incorruptible body.
She’s the best of both worlds, beguiling and hideous and neither
Okay so we know that at some point during Harrow the Ninth, 500 people directly from the resurrection are sent to rejuvenate the Ninth.
Based on Jod’s pop culture references and apparent age, we can assume he is a millennial and the apocalypse happened sometime between appx. 2019 - 2029, CE. So the people waking up on the Ninth would be our peers. They could be us.
Obviously there is the whole concept of losing all your memories because of resurrection, but consider: your personality, your habits, your muscle memory and similarly brain-muscle memory would hypothetically all be intact, even if you don’t understand why you hate going to church, or find certain things funny, or
flinch at loud noises.
I am now going to take this fascinating idea and use it in the cringiest way possible. All references from our society would be lost, but the urge to create shitty memes would still be intact. Imagine this: you wake up o a lifeless, cold planet with no sky and it’s full of skeletons, incredibly goth elderly people, and catholicism. I can only imagine the memes that would arise.
locked tomb characters as tweets from the “make up a guy” (@makeupaguy) twitter page
gideon nav: god damn it this is just another guy that’s a homestuck fan character
harrowhark nonagesimus: guy who forgor ☠️
judith deuteros: guy who has a discomfort food for when they’re feeling a little too good
marta dyas: guy who keeps ruining the mood during homoerotic swordfights by getting seriously injured
ianthe tridentarius: guy who does terrible things just so they can find out if hell is actually real
coronabeth tridentarius: guy whose tits are always out and they’ve got a doctor’s note for having their tits out just in case someone tells them to not have em out
naberius tern: guy that’s 5'8
isaac tettares: guy who has a ton of piercings so if someone wants to eat them they can’t microwave them
jeannemary chatur: guy who got a bunch of very sharp face piercings as a defense mechanism against being kissed
abigail pent: guy who rates halloween costumes by ghost warding capabilties
magnus quinn: guy who’s just a framing device for all these dad jokes I’ve got
palamedes sextus: the forbidden 6th guy
camilla hect: guy who doesn’t know the word for ambidextrous so they call themselves “hand bisexual”
dulcinea septimus: guy who says the word “cough” instead of actually coughing
protesilaus ebdoma: guy who puts little flowers in their hair every day (:
silas octakiseron: guy who wears an old-timey full body bathing suit to a nude beach
colum asht: guy who invents a new way to die
john gaius: guy who refers to war crimes as “military cringe compilations”
commander wake: guy who is the ceo of antifa
alecto the first: guy who’s only 5'15 tall
mercymorn the first: guy who critiques lore inconsistencies under @makeupaguy tweets
cristabel oct: guy who ran up that hill and made a deal with god
augustine the first: guy who wants to join an mlm scheme because they both love men and scheming
alfred quinque: guy who goes to the library and uses a marker to black out all the swear words in books
gideon the first: guy who always introduces themself second and claims to have the same name as you
pyrrha dve: guy who just loves twirling their gay little revolvers
cytherea loveday: guy who uses pictures of themself as reaction images on twitter
loveday heptane: guyf (guy wife)
BONUS tamsyn muir: guy who headcanons jesus as gnc af
my pet theory is that Anastasia and Alecto fell in love when they were both exiled (basically) to the Ninth House. the idea of God’s end and his heretic saint falling in love with each other just has a nice poetry to it
how my four favorite gays from the locked tomb series would look if the locked tomb was adapted in the arcane animation style!! (do not repost or use as an icon before asking permission)
christmas is when jesus was born, and easter is when he died. in between is when he did various baby crimes bad enough to warrant capital punishment at 3 months old. very bad baby
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