So much this but also the reverse. We must recognize that villains can target/fool anyone. So much of “what was she wearing” etc is a desperate attempt to assure ourselves “just because it happened to them doesn’t mean it could happen to me” and that is a lie that leads us to abandon the victim and empower the villain.
No, you can’t tell someone is cruel just by looking at them. Just because someone is polite to you doesn’t mean they don’t have a body in the trunk. You are not the exception. Villains are complex and we must be open to that complexity so that we can be prepared to believe victims in the face of our own lack of experience.
Just because someone is polite to you doesn’t mean they don’t have a body in the trunk.