See, you start reading The Locked Tomb because everyone is like wow, lesbian necromancers in space, fun but watch out it’s a little sad! And then Tasmyn Muir says my entire magic system is based on the fact that you cannot know someone without being changed by their existence. You cannot lose someone, grieve for someone without them becoming a part of you forever. Grief is transformative because love is transformative. It’s also a consumption, because love is a consumption - souls merge when they spend enough time near each other. You will never be the person you were before you met them.