If tlt were written by straight people [the CW].
Palamedes [cole sprouse] would be the protagonist. Gideon would die on the first night at Canaan, right after coming out. Moving on, Pal’d be in an official love triangle with Harrow [jenna ortega] and Coronabeth [melissa benoist] after being rebuffed by Cytherea [cate blanchett] but the dominating fan fave ship would be babsamedes.
Twitter would momentarily shut after s2 episode where he and Ianthe are having dubiously pornographic onscreen sex and she’s making him hold eye contact - he finishes right after her eyes switch to blue and brown.
The show creators, when asked about the scene, feign ignorance of the word homosexuality and ask for it to be looked up in a dictionary and read to them.