Thinking about how Palamedes Sextus killed himself to to save his cavalier’s life, in a direct inversion of the Lyctorhood process. And how he thought it would only take a week or two for someone to find his soul. And how he thought he was leaving Camilla with Harrow and Gideon, that they were all about to be rescued by the Cohort.
Instead Palamedes comes back and finds out they’ve been separated for the better part of a year. He finds out that Camilla spent months as a prisoner of war where she was interrogated and electrocuted and held at gunpoint. That she watched BOE torture Judith and watched Judith almost die. How the first time in their lives they are apart Camilla goes through months of traumatic shit and all the while she’s trying to super glue Palamedes skull back together.
That is already so much guilt to unpack and process and then the only way for Palamedes to come back is to literally hi-jack Camilla’s body, after everything else she’s already been through. He needs to survive so he can make amends, so he can save the world, but he cannot hug Camilla or look her in the eye or even speak to her directly.
The goddamn tragedy of Palamedes Sextus and Camilla Hect, I am UNWELL.