every time i think about john its whiplash. he’s so fucked up and so human. he is needlessly cruel. he is doing his best to be kind. he didn’t cure cytherea’s cancer. he killed mercymorn in a fit of rage. he didn’t care about them. they were the only thing he cared about in the whole world. he renames people as a way to own them. he told harrowhark he thought of her like a daughter. he has no one in the whole world anymore. the nun’s body in the memory in the river. don’t look at her, that’s not what she looked like.