I like to imagine that the first thing Harrow will do when she sees Gideon again is immediately kiss her square on the mouth. However, I also like to imagine this will happen in the most stupid and frustrating way possible, meaning that Harrow will be in the Body’s body and end up kissing the Body, who’s in Gideon’s body, while Gideon in Harrow’s body watches in abject heartbreak, convinced that Harrow is aware that her creepy freeze dried beloved is squatting in Gideon’s beautiful biceps, while in reality Harrow scoped only a slice of sculpted muscles and ginger hair before going ‘fuck yeah, there’s my dance partner’ and laying one on her.
For her part, the Body is just looking at Camilla with puppy eyes like ’??? what do????’
It occurs to me that this is a difficult scenario to follow in text format, so I’ve prepared a visual aid
Dramatis Personae:
[Image description: A small girl with golden eyes and dark hair tied back, looking angrily at a sword that is far to big for her. She’s labelled “Gideon Harrowbod” and her description reads;
Gideon, in Harrow’s body
Has been keeping the home fires lit
Would really like her muscles back though
Never figured out how to reverse Ianthe’s hair growing curse
end description]
[Image description: A buff woman with freckles looking quizzically at a bone and a rapier. She’s labelled “Nona 'the Body’ Gideonbod” and her description reads;
Who is she?
No seriously, who is she. Please tell her.
No seriously, I’m working on the theories that she’s 1. the spirit of whoever’s locked in the tomb and 2. that that person is actually Anastasia instead of Alecto.
End description]
[Image description: A thin, disoriented woman with long dark hair in a wet shift with chains around her limbs and throat. She’s labelled “Harrowhark Bodybod” and her description reads;
Harrow, in the Body’s body
Has been having a very nice nap in the Tomb
Is still kind of disoriented from the whole trauma/lobotomy/journey through an ethereal river of spiritual detritus populated by insane ghosts
End description.]
Act One (of one)
[image description: A black and white comic featuring the previously described dramatis personae.
Panel 1: Gideon gestures angrily to an awkward looking Nona, shouting “If she’s in my body and I’m in Harrow’s body, where the fuck is my necro??”
Panel 2: The entrance of the Locked Tomb (labelled: Tomb, do not open), with a large boulder shoved to the side. The captions says “Rock: Rolled away.”
Panel 3: Harrow sleepily opens one eye in the icy coffin of the Locked Tomb and says “zzzrrhhg?” the captions says “That which was buried: Sensate (Kinda)”
Panel 4: Looking through Harrow’s eyes, we see Gideon and Nona peering down at her. Tentatively, Gideon says “Harrow?” but she is obscured by part of Harrows hair in her face. Nona on the other hand, is very clear, and has labels around her body to show what Harrow is noticing about her- they read;
Ginger
Big mumscles
Wrong eyes?? Meh, this is probs a hallucination
Handsome
Panel 5: Harrow pushes Gideon out of the way and pulls a panicked Nona in for a kiss. Nona has a thought balloon that is just question marks. Gideon has a though balloon that says “Ah, once again I have been rejected in favour of a freeze dried idiot woah is my ass Harrow will never love me I will die alone leik if you cry every time.” Harrow’s thought bubble just says “Gideon” in a fancy script, surrounded by hearts.
In the background Camilla, Judith, and Coronabeth are watching them with varying expressions of despair and amusement.
You know maybe we don’t want to go there too much but I think deep down there’s something very cathartic about a lesbian dying to advance someone else’s plot because that’s all she thinks she’s good for and then the next installment in the series being a drawn out agonised scream of loss at the hole her absence leaves in the universe
Gideon the Ninth really went ‘the pinnacle of my existence is sacrificing myself for unrequited love and my reward will be to live forever in her memory and that’s more than enough’ and then Harrow the Ninth (and Harrowhark the First) grabbed her by the collar and shook her like a etch-a-sketch and said ‘no I won’t let you you’re worth so much more than that your life is worth breaking the laws of heaven and earth to preserve’ and I just think that’s neat
