Does anyone else think about how the nicknames Pyrrha gave Nona and the way she acted around her in general probably had something to do with the fact that there was a good chance Nona was Gideon, at least at first?
Pyrrha ended up loving Nona as her child regardless of who she ended up being, of course.
But the books aren’t exactly shy about the fact that Pyrrha wanted Gideon (which is a concept that in itself would probably make Gideon explode if she let herself realize it). I think the first thing we ever hear her ask Wake, way back in Harrow, is why she brought the baby when she came to the Ninth.
Pyrrha thought Gideon was dead for eighteen years, and she was still thinking about her. She was still grieving her.
The last coherent soul she’d met inhabiting Harrow’s body was Gideon. What does it matter if she’s technically John’s kid? She’s still Pyrrha’s. And Pyrrha came out of that situation okay, but Gideon didn’t.
But the body is okay. And the body might have amnesia, and the girl in it might not know what she’s doing, but someone is alive in there, and there’s a good chance that it’s still the baby she grieved for eighteen years.
And so Pyrrha cooks her breakfast. She braids her hair. She goes to work for her. She kisses her forehead when they say goodbye. She shoots marbles off the roof just because the girl asks her to.
She gets to do all these things that she thought she never would, because the baby died eighteen years ago.
And she sees the girl’s body, and she’s her mom’s spitting image, and Pyrrha wants her, wants to take care of her, so much. Even now that she’s dead. Even now that she’s undead. Even when she’s acting weird, when she’s all grief and anger and takes her frustration out on everyone.
Pyrrha still calls her kiddo. She still tries to look out for her.
Gideon is Pyrrha’s kid in the same way that Nona is, but Gideon doesn’t know what to do with that, because she doesn’t know what it’s like to be a child that is wanted.
Thinking really intensely about what would have been if Nona had been Gideon, if she’d gotten to realize that she has friends and a parent who love her without any need for sacrifice, or any need to prove herself. Who love her just because she is.
And idk. I’m hoping she still gets to realize that. I’m hoping Pyrrha gets to call her stupid nicknames, too.