Ianthe Tridentarius, from The Locked Tomb: she’s mean. She’s pathetic. She doesn’t care about anything but actually that’s a lie, she cares so much. She definitely cries about Harrow. Wet rat. Casually snacked on a real living guy on the regular. Tall and blonde. If the wind blew too hard she would fly away.

The Witch of the Waste, from Howl’s Moving Castle: large woman. Mean. Before she became all grandma looking…. Like look. I get why Howl pursued her. I also get why he got scared off. She would scoff at me.

And so: