2024-03-21 19:38:48 ¶ ● ⬈

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hello I saw your tags - can i ask about alectophant theory?!

onwardmotley:

> Alectophant is my exhaustively researched and very serious theory that Alecto’s problem with the body John made is not that it’s a blonde barbie body, nor simply that it’s a physical or human body at all, but:

> > Nona chortled. “Not one bit.” Nona hated having hands.

> > “Well, tell me your theories,” Nona demanded, feeling much better from sheer excitement. “Say them out loud. Am I nice? Am I good-looking? Do I have lots of friends? Does everyone listen to me? How many legs do I have?“

> > Nona made her body stand on its two feet. Two feet—the worst number for feet; not so many that they were ever useful, not so few that you didn’t have to think about them.

> > John had made her so ugly, so unbearably ugly. The terrible face, with the terrible arms and legs and the terrible middle part, and the terrible hair, and the terrible ears: the nose too short, the ears too brief.

> her ideal body is an elephant.

> Problems Nona has with human form:

> - hands are dumb
> - two is a dumb number of feet
> - (her only specifics about the body John made) nose too short, ears too brief

> Features of an elephant:

> - zero hands (who needs them!)
> - four feet (a useful number!)
> - enormous (and practical!) ears
> - a VERY long nose that’s way more useful than stupid hands

> And, finally:

> > Nona looked down at the animal she had drawn, and thought perhaps she understood. She said, “No, I made it up. It does work, I promise. See these things? They’re its ears,” she said, in much the same tones as she would have explained to Kevin. “This thing is its nose, and you can’t see it because I didn’t draw it, but the mouth is under here. When first it was born it used to live in a river, but then it got cold so it had to get large. I know the legs can’t rotate, but you don’t think that’s stupid, do you?” She looked up at Camilla and the Angel, then said, “Am I in trouble?”

> She draws one for the Angel.

> In conclusion: