best part of the locked tomb is if it was ANY other story naberius would be the number one guy. he’s a prince and somehow also a bodyguard and he’s a gifted fighter and devoted to the princesses and he has swoopy hair and dreamy eyes and no one gives a shit, because they’re all married/gay/focused on the actual plot. naberius is the lost love interest from a shitty ya fantasy novel that culminates in a love triangle between him, corona, and silas. this man is harry styles in a room full of lesbians
I love it when fanartists emphasise the physical contrasts between their favoured pairings to the point that they don’t even look like they’re drawn in the same art style anymore. Locked Tomb fans are out there drawing Harrow/Gideon like they’re shipping Johnny the Homicidal Maniac with Johnny Bravo.
camilla hect suffered more than jesus— she had a fuckass bob and a codependent friendship and a six month old at home😔 literal herculean trials and for what?? becoming a guy named paul?
the love triangle in TLT is so funny because it’s not even a true love triangle. it’s like a shape that hasn’t even been invented yet. first you’ve got Ianthe, who thinks Harrow is totally into her but isn’t. and Harrow is into Gideon but also this really sexy corpse. the sexy corpse was maybe probably in a relationship with Gideon’s dad who’s also the leader of the solar system. he hooks up with his officers sometimes and has hooked up with his best friends over the last 10,000 years because they were bored. Ianthe also has this weirdly borderline incestuous relationship with Coronabeth but Coronabeth is in love with Judith who had a crush on her now-dead cavalier. the only ones who’ve got a semi-normal relationship are Camilla and Palamedes and even then they had a weird poly thing with Dulcinea even though they never met her in person. and they have another weird poly thing with Pyrrha but by that point they’re sharing a body. then they decide to do a mutual suicide/soul binding ritual and become a whole new person in Camilla’s body. also they’re second cousins. oh Pyrrha also had a weird poly thing with her necro and Gideon’s biomom/the leader of the rebellion who’s fighting against Gideon’s biodad. I don’t even have time to unpack all that and that doesn’t even cover half of the shit happening here. there’s also the whole Cytherea thing
tazmuir could simply rerelease gideon the ninth over and over again but from the perspective of all of the different characters at canaan house and i would be tuned the fuck in. like the drama of all of their different expectations and relationships…. coronabeth living her hot girl summer… judith experiencing Sapphic Hell…. isaac and jeannemary on the world’s weirdest family vacation…. palamedes living out a deeply repressed regency era romance…. silas filled with loathing for every single person there…. delightful. canaan house drives me crazy. it’s like if love island was survivor
‘The average necromancer is haunted by 10 ghosts’ factoid is a statistical error. The average necromancer is haunted by 0.5 ghosts.
Harrowhark The First (whilom Nonagesimus), the Ninth Saint to serve the King Undying, who created a bubble in the River and is haunted by 200 dead children, the corpse of the Locked Tomb, her dead cavalier, the dead mom of said cavalier, the people who died back at Canaan House and her former cavalier who died in an exploding shuttle is an outlier and should not have been counted.
