2023-01-29 20:26:01 ¶ ● ⬈

strangehorse:

> no bitch has ever gone as hard as commander wake, actually. like:

> - take over and unite a disorganised insurgency group to become one of the greatest threats ever presented to an immortal god
> - learn about, identify, locate and somehow KILL??? a monster that multiple lyctors have died trying to kill, then make said monster’s body into weaponry for better god-killing abilities
> - identify the saint of duty and make him violate his duty, sexual-style. it’s okay, because the ‘duty’ really refers to his cavalier, who you are also dating. succesfully two-time two people who are sharing a body. how do you even do this.
> - connect with even more lyctors and, rather than getting killed on sight, agree to help kill the emperor. this part contains child murder but okay!
> - when the relevant material dies, who cares? you’ve got a perfectly good womb, a syringe and seemingly immortal sperm!
> - inseminate yourself with god’s semen ???
> - succesfully evade the saint of duty for the duration of your pregnancy. when cornered, succesfully a) get to the right place b) induce labour and c) deliver your child
> - get kicked out an airlock. this one is a bummer. reroute your oxygen to your child, which would be a sweet gesture if it wasn’t specifically so your child can be killed at a more useful time
> - refuse all attempts by ninth house spirit-callers, other than yelling the name of the lyctor that killed you. 'sacred forgotten names’ my ass

> like. that’s already genuinely insane behaviour! and that’s only stuff that happens before book one!

> because then your soul is so bitter and determined and angry that you somehow hold onto your bones for a VERY long time and you don’t go insane, and then you end up in a sword for literal decades and you still don’t go insane, and then some mega necromancer gets hold of The Sword With You In It and you hate her so much you can make her projectile vomit just by being near you- and, again, you are a ghost inside a sword at this stage-

> also you simultaneously haunt the necromancer’s brain and fuck up her attempts to rewrite history by being like 'what if i was there and also i had a gun. what if that.’ and you’re so hard to kill that they have to summon the ghost of the coolest bestest big boy soldier who ever lived just to try and step to you.

> and also you got the necro to stab a body so you can puppet the corpse around a spaceship, which you use mostly to try and kill lyctors (and, also, to try and fuck)

> also, you canonically named yourself after 'lose yourself’ by eminem.