2022-06-05 6:58:30 ¶ ●

IMO ianthe did have a point when she told gideon that what made her crush on harrow different from gideon’s is that ianthe and harrow are equals, and are therefore capable (in theory) of forming a very different kind of relationship than the one that gideon and harrow, as they both exist and percieve eachother right now, could have. bc the thing about griddlehark right now is they each hold eachother as sacred to the extreme. sacred like a holy relic, like a wonder that can be observed and honored but never touched. gideon has a suicidal, overwhelming devotion to harrow. she’s convinced that harrow doesnt care about her and gideon is just… fine with that. that’s part of her devotion. harrow thinks of gideon with a similarly consuming kind of reverence all wrapped up in guilt. and i love it, it’s a delicious dynamic, incredible, but i want to see how they untangle that – they were able to partly shift their dynamic (from childhood codependant enemies) at canaan house but it just switched to a different but still incredibly unequal dynamic on both sides. how do they learn to love the other in a way that accepts the love they are recieving, that believes themselves worthy? how do they learn to love in a way that does not consume themselves? that leaves something left for the other one to love? the AU chapters gave us a taste of what could have been and perhaps what could be later in the series. i need to go lie down.