important fact to ME is that on the Sixth House, canonically the Niereds’ (the sex troops) final exam was memorizing erotic poetry. the Sixth House own prime directive is making sure all their citizens are as attractive and fuckable and erotically capable as possible at all times. and they’re institutionally encouraged to be nerds. and when Palamedes was bored in the River bubble and only had one terrible book to read, he spent 8 months writing fix-it fanfiction on the walls.
what i’m saying is that birthday cake erotica would have been GOOD.