ok so when tm said this:

it made me remember this, from the HtN epilogue:

it seems like nona’s “secret crush” could be camilla –but then who would the “biggest jerk” cousin be?

IMO it can’t be palamades, because he’s… palamades, and his worst crime is sometimes being a bit of a hard ass and a nerd. my off the wall prediction is that nona is anastasia (formerly Ninth, formerly First, now…. just Wandering Around) and the “out of town cousin” is the presumed dead cassiopeia the first, because myriad long arguments and thinking your fellow immortal is the “biggest jerk in the universe” (a very domestic epithet!) just seems like something that lyctors (or half lyctors) do