hedge-rambles:

nepenthean-sleep:

gideon: i hate bones don’t fucking talk to me about bones. bones are for nerds

somebody: hey this shoulder bone lying here is—

also gideon, immediately: that’s the superior surface of the coracoid process of the left scapula, moron

Still think about the fact that Gideon Nav is completely unaware that knowing every bone in the human body is not common knowledge for babies, she just went to a really weird school that covered “clavicle” around the same time as “blue” and “triangle”

sheepydraws:

I know no one cares about Naberius Tern but that is exactly the problem.

Every single lyctor we have seen so far is undone by killing their caviller. Mercymorn makes it very, very clear that she has been carrying the grief of killing Cristabel for ten thousand years. Palamedes doesn’t say he would rather die than kill Cam to become a lyctor because he is busy dying rather than killing Cam to become a lyctor. The unspoken rule is that lyctorhood can only be obtained by killing the person most important to you.

Unless you are Ianthe.

Ianthe is the only lyctor who isn’t in a constant state of mourning. She has achieved immortality and cosmic power without losing the person closest to her.

Incidentally the person Ianthe loves the most is Corona, who also doesn’t care what happened to Babs. Ianthe chats with Corona while wearing Babs discarded corpse and they banter about it.

Ianthe essentially made her Faustian bargain with counterfeit money and I think eventually she is going to have to pay up

friendamedes:

apocalypse wrapped

you killed 1.5 billion cows!

you were responsible for the death of all your friends!

your top stream was on june 10th, 2028, in which a corpse flipped off PETA! it had 20.8 million views!

you resurrected the earth as barbie!

you murdered zero billionaires and every member of the working class!

you made catholicism woke!

serenity-the-firefly:

really i think one of my favorite character dynamics is “i don’t actually like you but we’ve been through so much together that i’d trust you with my life and know that we will always back each others calls. but i still wouldn’t trust you with my car keys.” like “we aren’t really friends but we’ve been thrust into an intense situation where you are the only other person i know so now we’re besties.” and “if it weren’t for our years of history i would have literally nothing to talk to you about at this work dinner.” Enemies to lovers has NOTHING on general disinterest to begrudging acknowledgment to discovering that this person is now an inextricable part of your life

nonasbirthday:

nonasbirthday:

🏕🍫🔥 S’MORES PERSONALITY TYPES: Gideon the Ninth Edition

• barely toasts their marshmallow because that’s how they prefer it: Judith, Silas, Harrowhark
• barely toasts their marshmallow because they’re impatient: Naberius, Isaac
• rotates the marshmallow until it is a perfect even light brown on all edges: Marta, Abigail, Camilla, Protesilaus
• forgets to turn the marshmallow so it ends up brown on one side and uncooked on the other: Magnus, Palamedes
• purposefully sets the marshmallow on fire, puts it out, and then pulls off the skin for the pure hot gooey middle: Coronabeth, Dulcinea
• purposefully sets the marshmallow on fire, puts it out, and then eats it all, including the blackened skin: Ianthe, Jeannemary, Gideon
• marshmallow falls in the fire: Colum :(

the results are in:

and an addition:

c-rowlesblogs:

funnytwittertweets:

metaphysical-cheese:

metaphysical-cheese:

I’m convinced you guys are just making up The Locked Tomb series at this point. This has got to be another Goncharov. There is no way everything I’m seeing about it is true. You can’t gaslight me I know Martin Scorsese’s cult classic film Gideoncharov the Ninth isn’t real

I’M SORRY WHAT???

pickle-inspector:

“average person haunted by 3 ghosts” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person is haunted by 0 ghosts. Harrowhark Nonagesimus, who lives in cave & is haunted by 200 ghosts, is an outlier adn should not have been counted