2019-09-23 17:50:09 ¶ ●

## Hello! I loved Gideon the Ninth so much!! and would like to draw fan art, would you mind sharing any helpful summaries of what each character looks like? or must us fans hunt through the book for every offhand line of description? (not that I'm not planning on rereading it anyway)

I have let myself drift back onto Tumblr after two weeks, am deeply affrighted and excited at the idea that anyone has drawn my kids (I had an AMA on Reddit and as said there, my editor every so often hollered into my inbox about amazing shit people were doing, but I was too busy complaining back to him that my face had gone numb and that I no longer slept, but instead the darkness of the grave claimed me for four to five hours each night). Thank you so much to anyone who has already done this. Many people on my team have yelled and yelled.

Back early on in the piece I made a document for him about what characters looked like in terms of basic ideas/outlines for copyediting, covers and sense purposes, and I’ve dug out that document and slapped it up here for general delectation. As a note: I imagine specific things when it comes to my characters (I am a Kiwi: I write Kiwis In Space as a default) but as I have nothing but joy in my heart for how anyone would want to draw these characters, feel free to glance over this, then toss it out the window. It would bring tears of beauty to my eyes if anyone was like “Yes, but when I was reading I imagined Naberius Tern as a huge monitor lizard,” because absolutely yes, Naberius Tern was just a huge monitor lizard, godspeed.

I had only described below the specific cavalier-necromancer pairs, so that’s what you’ll find below, sorry if anyone wanted Teacher.

SECOND HOUSE

The only ones who seemed even vaguely compos mentis were the Second House: as it turned out, they had been the ones to call Teacher to the access hatch, and now they sat ramrod-straight and resplendent in their Second-styled Cohort uniforms, all scarlet and white. They both affected the same tightly-braided hairstyle and the same amount of extremely gilt braid, and also the same serious-business expression, and they could be told apart by one having a rapier and one quite a lot of pips at her collar.

Captain Judith Deuteros and Lieutenant Marta Dyas are alike in posture, bearing and extremely crisp military uniform (think a cross between US Navy whites and the Regency navy). Unlike every single other necromancer on the cast, Judith never wears necromancer robes, but is dressed in the exact same way as Marta. Judith is somewhat less completely scrawny than other necromancers on the cast, though she should be less built than Marta is; Judith is imposing, solemn-faced and reflective, Marta is more keen-eyed and restless. I imagined both as Tongan.

THIRD HOUSE

[Coronabeth] was tall and regal, with some radiant, butterfly quality – her shirt was haphazardly tucked into her trousers, which were haphazardly tucked into her boots, but she was all topaz and shine and lustre. All necromancers affected robes in the same way cavaliers affected swords, but she hadn’t tucked her arms into hers, and it was a gauzy, gold-shot, transparent thing floating out around her like wings. There were about five rings on each hand and her earrings would’ve put chandeliers to shame, but she had an air of wild and innocent overdecoration, of having put on the prettiest things in her jewellery box and then forgetting to take them off. Her buttery hair was stuck to her forehead with sweat, and she kept tangling a curl of it in one finger and artlessly letting it go.

The second twin was like someone had taken the first to pieces and put her back again without any genius. She wore a robe of the same cloth and colour, but wore it like a very beautiful shroud on a mummy. The cavalier had lots of hair, an aquiline face, and a self-satisfied little jacket.

Coronabeth is massive, taller even than Palamedes, larger-than-life – statuesque, very bright gold hair, golden/bright skin, violet eyes. Ianthe is the same height but gangly and washed out. Skin colour defined heavily in Corona’s case as golden/olive-hued brown/tanned; Ianthe similar, but less radiant/more pallid whatever the case. Both have long hair: Corona’s should be big and bouncy, Ianthe’s flat/sleek.
Naberius is shorter than both, brown-haired (brown can be light, medium or dark, it’s not defined) and blue-brown hazel eyes. Also has lots of hair, cut short, but sense of pompadour/waves. I imagined all three as Pakeha/white.
FOURTH HOUSE
Both Isaac and Jeannemary are around fourteen and have pretty much the same body shape still: Jeannemary is semi-muscular and has lots of corners, Isaac is skinnier. Both are natural brunettes, though Isaac has bleached hair (orange, fauxhawk) and Jeannemary is described as having curly hair. Both have multiple ear piercings and eyeliner and the visual is somewhat Glassons storecard punk. Both have dark brown eyes. Jeannemary has a somewhat dusty, fierce, monochromatic appearance (brown hair, brown skin), and I imagine her as Māori. Isaac I imagined as NZ Chinese.
FIFTH HOUSE
Magnus Quinn is a man in his middling to late thirties, with short, curly hair: he is a frank-faced, nice-looking guy of medium build with a face inclined to wholesome smiles. His outfits should be absolutely exceptionally well-tailored and not very flashy. Imagined him as Samoan. His wife Abigail is perpetually neat, wears round spectacles and has long, glossy dark brown hair – she is the least described of a cast not very specifically described. Much like Magnus, she should always be beautifully and tastefully dressed, though in her case she would affect trousers as well as a robe. Imagined her as Pakeha/white.

SIXTH HOUSE
Crouching in front of the hatch was a rangy, underfed young man: he was wrapped in a grey cloak and the light glinted on the spectacles slipping down his nose. Standing next to him holding a big wedge of broken sculpture and the flashlight was a tall, equally grey-wrappered figure with a scabbard outlined at her hip. She had hair of an indeterminate darkness, cut blunt at her chin.
Up close, he was gaunt and ordinary-looking, except for the eyes. His spectacles were set with lenses so thick they could make spaceflight grade, and through these his eyes were a perfectly lambent grey: unflecked, unmurked, even and clear. He had the eyes of a very beautiful person, and the head of someone with resting bitch face.

Palamedes is seriously underfed with a bony, thin face and glasses: medium brown hair cut short and with no particular thought for aesthetics, dresses just in greys, eyes particularly lovely clear grey. Camilla has very dark cold-brown hair – chin-length, straight and with a fringe – dark eyes. She’s compact and has lots of lean muscle, and I imagine her of being Middle Eastern extraction, though due to Sixth House parameters both will be fairly mixed. They’re actually second cousins, so there ought to be a faint resemblance.

SEVENTH HOUSE
[Dulcinea] was a slender young thing whose mouth was a brilliant red with blood: her dress was a frivolous concoction of seafoam green frills, and the blood on it seemed more somber against such a backdrop. Her skin seemed transparent – horribly transparent, with the veins at her hands and the sides of her temples a visible cluster of mauve branches and stems. Her eyes fluttered open: they were huge and blue, with velvety brown lashes.

Dulcinea is a girlish woman who looks extremely fragile and sickly, like a neurasthenic Victorian maiden. Eyes should be extremely blue. Hair is light brown in long curls; skin is pale. Pretty in a frivolous, invalid way. Gives the impression of being slight. Outfits should be gauzy and nightgownish. Imagined her as Pakeha/white.

The man who’d put the sword to her neck was uncomfortably buff. He had upsetting biceps. He looked like a collection of lemons in a sack. He didn’t look healthy; he was a dour, bulky young person, whose skin had something of the strange, translucent tinge that the girl’s had. He was waxen-looking in the sunlight […] He was dressed richly, but with clothes that looked as though they’d seen practical wear: a long cape of greyish-green, and a belted kilt and boots. There was a long, shining length of etched chain rolled up and over his arm, and a big one-handed sword hung at his hip.

Protesilaus is massive, buff, and also sort of sickly and indistinct-looking in his colouring – he is described as being made up mainly of muddy, ashen browns. Think Greek warrior, but with no vibrant colouring. Biggest on cast, even bigger than Colum Ash. Imagined him as mixed Pasifika.

EIGHTH HOUSE
It was a pair who were both boys – well – a boy and a man; one was a wan, knife-faced kid dressed in antiseptic whites and useless chainmail you could cut with a fork, it was so delicate. [Silas] was draped in it even down to a kilt, which was strange: necromancers didn’t normally wear that kind of armour, and he was definitely the necromancer. He had necromancer build. […] He gave the impression of being absolutely no fun at all. He was prim and ascetic-looking, and his companion – who was older, a fair bit older than Gideon herself – had the air of the perpetually disgruntled. He was rather more robust, nuggety, and dressed in chippy bleached leathers that looked as though they’d seen genuine use. One finger on his left hand was just a gross-looking stump, which she admired.

Silas is in his teens, has shoulder-length white hair in a braid and dark eyes. He has extremely pale skin, and coupled with the white robes and silver chainmail (all of which somewhat swamp him – he’s sort of slender and purse-mouthed) gives the impression of being arrestingly white all over. Pointy chin, oval face, disapproving expression, a little insubstantial.
Colum, his older, larger nephew is much taller, broader and in his early thirties. He has medium brown hair in a short back’n’sides crop, dark eyes, and appears jaundiced in skin tone – he’s very weatherbeaten and tan-skinned, scarred, and though he’s dressed in the same colours he tends to contrast heavily with them and his leather armour is also beaten-up. He looks tatty and ill-used, expression is apathetic or forbidding; Silas always looks perfectly clean, crisp and white. Facially there should be a similarity. They’re both Pakeha, with Silas being significantly the palest person on-cast.

NINTH HOUSE
The light fell on [Harrow’s] painted grey face and black-daubed chin, and her short-cropped, dead-crow-coloured hair. […] She had such a peculiarly pointed little face, high-browed and tippy everywhere, and a slanted and vicious mouth.

Harrow is a scrawny teenage girl with black hair cut short (as befits someone in a monastery) and truly black eyes: she never appears except in black and white skull facepaint. She has a pointed, rather triangular face, not very long, a triangular heart rather than a triangular diamond or oval. She wears black robes and long-sleeved, long-trousered clothes – all black – with no skin showing: the main decoration on this is bones. She wears a corset of rib bones and could have any other bone decoration, which has been written of in the book as bone bangles and multiple bone stud piercings in the ears. She’s more femme-androgynous than outright butch; in Book 1 she’s a bit birdlike and free of specific masc or femme gender markers in terms of outfit or build. I imagined her as being mixed Māori.
Gideon is true butch: tall of height – at least, taller than Harrow – extremely, shreddedly fit with the muscular arms of a swordswoman or boxer. She should have a strong-jawed, boyishly pretty face with a big douchebag grin. Cropped hair same as Harrow, except that hers as an oblate is more of an in-your-face mop (could be partly-shaved except that implies more care than Gideon possesses) and is intensely, vividly red. I envision her as mixed Māori, darker-skinned than Harrow. She also wears skull facepaint, though hers tends to be much less careful and baroque than Harrow’s. She often affects a pair of black aviator sunglasses. She wears the same black cloak as Harrow, without any decoration, and a plain black shirt and trousers underneath. Her eyes are an extremely vivid amber with more of a yellow/golden tint than a russet one.

2019-09-23 18:09:42 ¶ ●

## just a note to say

The last few weeks have been among some of the weirdest of my life. As I’ve got a day job and we’re under significant deadline stress, it was a good excuse to sit down, put blinkers on, and avoid every single note that has ever been sent to me; but I didn’t want to ignore what seems to be an enormous outpouring of kindness and goodwill to everyone who has read my five-act selection of weiner jokes.

Thanks to everyone who read it; thanks to everyone who read it and liked it; thanks to everyone who recommended it to a friend; thanks to everyone who wrote a shitpost about it, I’ve got to find the goths axis sheet because my editor sent it to me and I laughed for pure joy; thanks to everyone who reviewed, and who sent me a lovely letter saying they enjoyed reading it, and to anyone who read it and felt a feeling. Just because I am overwhelmed by it does not mean that it did not mean the world.

What I am also going to attempt to do over the next couple days, before I let myself indulge in looking at people cosplaying, because my editor sent me photos that I haven’t looked at yet, is highlight some of the first works that got me through the damn book. I’ve got two beloved playlists, and a piece of art that’s lived on my fridge since 2018, and a godawful house quiz. I was about to say, “if you do not want to live through these, block this tag,” but if you do not want to live through these I’m not sure what you’re here for unless you’re here for my Wizardess Heart play-throughs, which I’m sorry I stopped because I’ve dated like all those gruesome dudes by now and pretty much every single one of them is absolute nonsense.

Anyway, this week I will pay my respects to the ghouls who’ve loved me. The other thing I will do this week is the more important one, which is to tell you to buy The Monster of Elendhaven, but I’ll do that separately, in another post where I tell you that should you have resources to purchase The Monster of Elendhaven you should purchase The Monster of Elendhaven.

2019-09-23 18:25:23 ¶ ●

## The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht | Tor.com Publishing

On the 24th of September, which is tomorrow for me, you can purchase The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht.

I am not by any accounts an unbiased bystander. I first met Jenn in Homestuck fandom, never knowing that she was the one sent by the prophecy to later write the Epilogues. At the time, we just took a lot of joy in talking about what it would be like if Terezi went to law school. I have had the honour of having written as her co-writer on Promstuck and Herobound – I’m sorry to say that the best thing we ever wrote together never went public, but I assure you it was rad – and having my debut novel and her debut novella drop in the same month is like having our children get married, except that in this case I will say that although it is usually “X and Y don’t deserve to have to marry Gideon and Harrow,” this is the only case where I will say: Gideon and Harrow don’t deserve having to marry Florian and Johann. Gideon and Harrow have suffered enough.

For me, there’s lots I could say, but I’ll only say this: Giesbrecht writes like a Jim Steinman song feels.

As for the book itself, I wrote this to her back when I got to read it early (which is my undeserved prize for having attempted to force Giesbrecht to write a story with me where Jade Harley was a pregnant superhero having shacked up with Equius and Nepeta), and I wrote thus:

> [This story is like] “What if Prince Eric pulled up Ursula instead and pushed him continuously over a cliff and wrote little notes carefully in his diary the whole time”

Get it. It’s great. I love Florian, and I love Johann, but nonetheless they are the worst fucking train wrecks in the world. We have the same editor, and just imagine what a shellshocked ruin he is at this point. If at all possible, for safeguarding your own future entertainment, buy this book.

2019-09-24 19:22:34 ¶ ●

## go loud: a gideon the ninth fst

As threatened, before I let myself go nuts wallowing in cosplay and art, I muft acknowledge the gifts I was given when Gideon the Ninth did not even have a publication date. My three first readers gave me an FST, and the first FST I got was from paraTactician, to whom sharp-eyed readers following along from fandom may have noticed the book was dedicated to.

Obviously getting FSTs is the main reason why anyone actually writes a novel, let’s be honest with each other

1. introduction

2. The Killers - ’Bones’
I don’t really like you

3. Supergrass - ’Kick In The Teeth’
you cut me down, but there ain’t no use in crying

4. The Lonely Island - ’Space Olympics’
we can’t really enforce a curfew / as there is no light or sound

5. Editors - ’Papillon’
if there really was a God here, he’d have raised a hand by now

6. Assemblage 23 - ’Let Me Be Your Armor’
let me help you with the trials you’re going through

7. Bad Lip Reading - ’Carl Poppa’
this whole thing where random dead people try to kill me’s gotta go

8. Puscifer - ’Indigo Children (JLE Dub Mix)’
no more need for the old empire

9. P!nk - ’Please Don’t Leave Me’
can’t you tell that this is all just a contest

10. Radiohead - ’Where I End And You Begin (The Sky Is Falling In)’
like a house falling in the sea

11. Grieves - ’October In The Graveyard’
mighty is the bitter blade / crimson beaded water falling out of your grave

12. Zedd feat. Foxes - ’Clarity’
you are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need

13. Gordon Lightfoot - ’If You Could Read My Mind’
a ghost from a wishing well / in a castle dark or a fortress strong

14. Suzanne Vega - ’The Queen And The Soldier’
your Highness, your ways are very strange

15. conclusion

2019-09-27 14:28:32 ¶ ●

Sometimes you leave a line in your manuscript as a placeholder because you can’t think of another line to fill it yet.

Sometimes your first readers, who saw this line, get a man in an embroidery shop to embroider you an apron with “NOT SUCH A DANK MEME NOW, NABERIUS” in beautiful curly font.

2019-09-27 14:58:24 ¶ ●

This picture has sat on my fridge for like two years, held up by magnets of the greatest characters in the world to guard them (Jade and Sterling from Chris Dane Owen’s SHINE ON ME video), so forgive its fold marks and low quality, which do not at all do justice to the art.

From top to bottom, although it is fairly obvious if you’ve read the book: Camilla, Palamedes, Dulcinea, Harrow, Gideon.

This was my first piece of fan art. It kept me going on bad days. Camilla’s side-eye in particular encouraged me to eat a lot of yoghurt. If you go and pre-order a copy of THE UNSPOKEN NAME, written by its artist, I’ll draw an erotic stick figure of her main characters writhing in a pile of snakes. I can’t draw snakes or even frankly stick figures, so it’ll be a wild ride

2019-09-27 15:10:59 ¶ ●

## romancing the bone: a gideon the ninth fst

For my birthday in 2018, my two first readers just sent me an email with the subject heading, “We have very good taste.”

This FST is quite possibly the most serious, transformative and thoughtful transformative work ever presented to any canon, ever.

TRACKLISTING FOR YR CONVENIENCE

VOLUME ONE: HOUSES

Ist: Warm Blood – Carly Rae Jepsen

2nd: Jiyuu No Tsubasa – Linked Horizon

3rd: Pour It Up – Rihanna

4th: Warrior – Ke$ha

5th: Getcha Head In The Game – High School Musical

6th: Young Adult Friction – The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart

7th: So Happy I Could Die – Lady Gaga

8th: Titanium – David Guetta ft Sia

9th: THAUMATURGIC REVELATIONS – THE REVERENT BROTHERHOOD OF THE ABYSSAL SHROUD

VOLUME TWO: BONUS TRACKS

Gideon: Good Girls Go Bad – Cobra Starship

Harrowhark: Love Like Winter – AFI

Palamedes: That’s What I Go To School For – Busted

Cytherea: Camisado – Panic! At The Disco

Final Boss: Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back – My Chemical Romance

End Credits: Spaceship - Kesha

VOLUME THREE: BAD LYCTOR SHIPPING

Immortals – Fall Out Boy

Ghost Of You – Good Charlotte

Out Of My Head – Charli XCX

2019-09-30 18:22:45 ¶ ●

## Your Favorite Lesbian Necromancers Are Back In 'Harrow The Ninth'

Dear all,

Here we are back again. Those long nineteen days ago when Gideon the Ninth was unleashed onto the world, I could hardly contemplate linking you again to anything. But the truth is that Gideon the Ninth is one book of three, and the second book will be here sooner than you think (JUNE 2, 2020).

That’s a long time away?? Naw. I myself will provide you with bullshit nonsense content until time speeds past like a bus out of control, and by that point June 2 will feel like a sweet reprieve because maybe I’ll stop talking about it. Psyche!! At that point I’ll simply start talking about Alecto the Ninth, a title my publishers misread because it’s actually my romance novel “Alec to Theninth”, a spiritual sequel to “From Justin to Kelly” about a guy who has a speech difficulty and meets plural clones of a Russian revolutionary politician and (Tighten this one up - Ed.)

Taking a twist for the contemporary, HARROW THE NINTH is the story of one girl’s sexual awakening at Bible camp, surrounded by wasps, unwanted nudes, and elderly swingers. It is also a story about how absolutely nothing happened the way you thought it did. Here are some of the traditional contemporary tropes I went with:

* PROTAG GETS A LIFE-CHANGING MAKEOVER

* PROTAG TROUBLED BY FLAWLESS MARKS IN HIGH SCHOOL NOT TRANSLATING OVER INTO UNIVERSITY

* DINNER PARTY RUINED BY FAUX PAS

* DESPITE MULTIPLE GIRLS BEING INTERESTED PROTAG PINES OVER THE ONE GIRL WHO ISN’T, WHICH IS JUST COMPLETELY FUCKING TYPICAL

* HORRIBLE LEMONGRAB WOMAN STEEPLES FINGERS, A LOT

* DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVEE BUT THE LEVEE WAS GHOSTS

* SO LIKE, WHAT IF THE PAST, LIKE… WASN’T ACTUALLY… THE PAST, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING? (TAKES HUGE NECROBONG HIT)

I have also put in some new characters, but not TOO many! You may want to get familiar with them now. Tag yourself!

* GOD

* THREE ASSHOLES

* IANTHE

June is just a tomorrow away.