2019-03-08 16:32:44 ¶ ●

## Introducing Magic X Mayhem!

Have you ever wanted to read the first two chapters of GIDEON THE NINTH for no money? Now you can, as well as reading free excerpts from authors including Sarah Gailey, JY Yang and Brian Naslund! It’s cheap as free!!!

These two chapters are some of my favourites from the novel because they involve Gideon failing to come up with believable names for monthly porn magazines. This is the type of quality content you have come to expect from me, and I deliver.

2019-03-08 16:39:36 ¶ ●

## Gideon the Ninth: pronunciation guide

It bewilders me more than I can articulate that people are now going to say my characters’ names, out loud, in the air; I have put together a pronunciation guide in order to help you on your way to describing to other people your “PALAMEDES SEXTUS ATE MY BALLS” GeoCities page.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus

Noh-na-GESS-i-mus

Gideon Nav

Short A as in NAVigator, not as in NAVE.

Ortus Nigenad

ORT-us (to rhyme with tortoise, unless you pronounce tortoise “tor toys”, in which case it doesn’t) NIGH-ga-nad.

Pelleamena Novenarius

Pelly-AM-enna Noh-ven-ARE-ee-us.

Priamhark Noniusvianus

PRY-am-hark (Avoid ‘Primark’) NOH-nee-us-vee-AHN-us.

Aiglamene

Eye-GLAM-enay.

Crux

Crux. Like Hux. Chucks. Sucks.

Aisamorta

EYE-sa-mor-tah.

Lachrimorta

LACK-ri-mor-tah.

Glaurica

GLAU-rikah.

Judith Deuteros

DEW-teross.

Marta Dyas

DIE-ass. (He he.)

Ianthe Tridentarius

Ee-AN-thay Try-den-TAR-ee-us.

Coronabeth Tridentarius

Cor-OWNA-beth Try-den-TAR-ee-us.

Naberius Tern

Na-BEER-e-us TURN.

Jeannemary Chatur

JOHN-mary CHA-tour. (Soft-ish 'j’, as in the French.)

Isaac Tettares

Isaac as you’d think. TETT-are-es.

Magnus Quinn
Abigail Pent

As in English.

Palamedes Sextus

Pal-AM-a-dees SEX-tus. (As in, Palama… deez nuts. Editor’s note: Sorry)

Camilla Hect

As in, “I hecked it.”

Dulcinea Septimus

Dul-sin-AY-a SEPT-i-mus.

Protesilaus Ebdoma

Prot-eh-sil-OW-us EBB-domah.

Silas Octakiseron

SYE-las Ock-ta-KIS-er-on.

Colum Asht

Colum as in 'column’, as in 'columba’. Asht. Asht Katchem.

INCIDENTAL NAMES AND TERMS

Matthias Nonius

Mah-TYE-as NO-nee-us.

Cytherea

KITH-er-AY-a.

Lyctor

LICK-tor (“Lyctor? I hardly touched her,” etc)

Canaan House

Canaan as in the Anglicised Biblical (KAY-nan).

Secundarius Bell

Se-cun-DAR-ee-us.

Drearburh

DREAR-burr.

2019-03-19 17:16:44 ¶ ●

## Read the First Chapter of Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth!

Previously you could pay no money to possess two chapters of GIDEON THE NINTH, but we heard your complaints (”That takes effort” “I cannot do it in countries that are not America” “I am very weak and feeble and have only one click to spend before expiration”). All you need to do is hit this link, and the whole first chapter will leap into your eyes!

To me this feels very much like publishing the first chapter of one’s fanfiction online, but wearier. I remember those days when I was green and jejune, earnestly letting people know on Livejournal and Tumblr that the first 10k of my latest magnum opus was up for the five people in the universe interested in Yuffie Kisaragi/Freya Crescent/Gamzee (Bad ship – Ed.), but those days were characterised by modesty and shame. When you start to publish professionally, you become filled with a hot and neurotic desperation that cannot exist alongside shame. “Maybe read this, if you’ve a mind to,” I used to say, eyelashes downcast, fanning myself shyly, hitting PUBLISH on Ao3.

Now I’m like: Read it!!!!!!! Read it to your dog!!!!!!!!!!!! Please, God, I’ve edited this so much!!!!!!! I am assured that if you DON’T read it Satan will read it to me ceaselessly in Hell!!!!! I’ve put in as many jokes as humanly possible on the off-chance you’ll laugh at one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Before I come undooooone, save me from the nothing I’ve becoooooome.

Tor.com will be running the whole first act over the next couple months. Follow along; you might like it.

(Were you here on the Internet when every YouTube video was a different Naruto and Sasuke AMV set to the All-American Rejects’ It Ends Tonight? I never knew much about Naruto, but this book is all those AMVs at once.)

2019-03-20 2:31:37 ¶ ●

## Is your book for sale? 👀

WHAT A GOOD QUESTION, SHAME I HAVE PREVIOUSLY FAILED TO ANSWER IT IN ANY CAPACITY

Here’s my book on Amazon. It arrives September the 10th, the same day as some sequel to The Handmaid’s Tale comes out by somebody called Margaret Atwood, so that’s fine

Get it on Kindle! Get it in hardback! Get it on audiobook, at some point! If you don’t like Amazon get it on Barnes & Noble! More links await ye on my Goodreads page! These guys thought of everything!