By Robert J! Lake
It’s a pretty little synth tune. Bouncy, cheerful, and deceptively simple, at least for the first minute or so.
By Robert J! Lake
It’s a pretty little synth tune. Bouncy, cheerful, and deceptively simple, at least for the first minute or so.
By Malcolm Brown
The dropped-pitch tubular bell intro (the same motif as Stellarum Salve) falls away in a hurry, in exchange for a heavy metal guitar jam. It meanders on from there, from high shrieking electro-thrash (1:20) to a calm, echoey bridge (2:00), to a gothic synth march, complete with chanting (2:30 on). The whole track foreshadows Eternity Served Cold a bit in tone.
By Malcolm Brown
To dust off a terribly stale, overused cliché, this song is a tour de force. It’s one of my top five favorites throughout the entire catalog.
The quality of the music is superb. Piano and xylophone kick it off, and if you turn it up loud, you can hear the dull, thudding, secondary impact of the piano key (or possibly the hammer against the piano string). It’s akin to hearing the valves opening and closing on a clarinet or a saxophone during a particularly quiet solo. If that’s sampled, there’s no way to tell: it is perfection.
This is the first song in the Homestuck library that I went and sought out. I blasted through the first several acts in two weeks or less when I first read the comic. I watched the Flashes in order, but the sound attached to them didn’t really stick until this song popped up. This is the track that forced me to take pause, to recognize that there’s something special about the soundtrack for this web comic.
I looked it up on YouTube to listen to it, to replay parts of it. I found myself asking questions about it. What was that familiar melody in the middle, when Lord English was rainbow-fricasseeing all of the ghosts? (it was Revelawesome). Haven’t I heard that haunting piano tune at the end of the Flash before? (Penumbra Phantasm strikes again).
It led me to look backwards at earlier music: there was more value here than I initially gave it credit. I listened to music, bought albums, and now here I am, writer of a snarky blog all about the music. All catalyzed by this one track.
By Toby “Radiation” Fox
I thought long and hard about how I would describe this song in brief: carnival thrash. That cool eastern-inspired hook just about makes the song, and it’s worth dealing with cackling fancy santas in all their glory. So goddamned catchy.
By Michael Guy Bowman
It’s a journey into an unbalanced yet determined mind, with wobbly melody driven forward by one of the more complex and interesting percussion lines on the album. Guess that Constant Confinement might have shaken a few marbles loose. Pink Floyd’s Brain Damage (from one of the greatest albums of all time) give off a similar unhinged vibe.
By Thomas “EidolonOrpheus” Ferkol
Where The Lordling is a crazy ball of energy (complete with sound effects contributed by Caliborn’s Casio, no doubt), this one’s more introspective. Graceful and flowing.
By Robert J! Lake
It’s got the same feeling of discovery and awe as Homestuck, only with a silo full of Pioneer sugar dumped onto it.

Sburb, a solo album composed by Tyler Dever and performed by Erik “Jit” Scheele, loading now.
Composed by Tyler Dever. Performed by Erik “Jit” Scheele.
Makes me think of daybreak, of new beginnings. Like a muted, simplified Ranz des Vaches.
Composed by Tyler Dever. Performed by Erik “Jit” Scheele.
The transition from The Prelude is ultra smooth, to the point that this may as well be a continuation. There’s no well-defined time, no well-defined measure: it feels professional yet improvised. It’s a style that’s consistent throughout the album.
Composed by Tyler Dever. Performed by Erik “Jit” Scheele.
Slow and deliberate on the bass side of the keys, and flighty on the treble side. The rather forceful rendition of Sburban Jungle near the end is a new, unique twist on the motif.
Composed by Tyler Dever. Performed by Erik “Jit” Scheele.
Such a simple intro, yet it evokes a melancholic mood as well as anything I’ve heard. My top track for the album.
Composed by Tyler Dever. Performed by Erik “Jit” Scheele.
Starts off with a chaotic glissando. I can’t decide whether it has the hallmarks and control of a professional, or if it’s better described as the ham-fisted smashings of a five-year-old. Either way, the melody that follows is austere and catchy.
Composed by Tyler Dever. Performed by Erik “Jit” Scheele.
I didn’t really dig Candles and Clockwork on Volume 5: it just felt forced with the synthy choir. But underneath all of that it has a pretty cool melody, and this track’s intro showcases it well. There’s a little more improvization in the second half, and it’s one of the tracks I come back to once in a while on this album.

What’s all this? That’s not music. It’s not music at all! Yet here it is on my pile of thrash here at BRO CENTRAL
It’s To Be Or Not To Be, written by Ryan North, best known for his starring role in an MSPA adventure. Also, he writes a paleontology blog or something.
I’ll post a review for it when I’m done. Might be a while, as it literally arrived yesterday. But I’ll get around to it.
Couple of quick things. I’m going to drop my queue down to once per day soon. No worries, though: with more than half the Homestuck music already reviewed, slackening the pace a little will give me a better shot at finishing all current music closer to when the Gigapause ends.
On to less boring news. I’ve got three full albums in the can: a PLAZMATAZ x2 COMBO, and a certain seasonally appropriate compilation. Reviews for these albums will be coming up next (and will probably run through December). After that, there’s about a dozen albums left.
So, I ask myself, what would be the wickedest, rudebrazenest way to choose the next review? MAD REQUESTS YO, like the thrashin’ pancake turner slam poets of old. I’ll pick my next album based on requests. Any album on this list is up for grabs (except for something I’ve already covered, which would be lame). So send me an ask. I’ll pick the winner based on some arbitrary metric I haven’t decided on yet.

We’ve got a PLAZMATAZ x2 COMBO coming up next, starting with Symphony Impossible to Play.
Arranged and composed by Clark “Plazmataz” Powell. Original ‘Crystalanthemums’ melody by Alexander Rosetti, 'Endless Climb,’ 'Doctor,’ 'Explore’ melodies by George Buzinkai, and 'Atomyk Ebonpyre’ by Toby “Radiation” Fox.
What a way to kick things off: a long crescendo from a deep strings section that echoes Endless Climb. That’s followed by a tease of a few more memorable tunes, all backed by those same strings and a forceful percussion beat.
That percussion line is best featured at the 4:25 mark, where the toms really take over (Plazmataz must have brought Ron Bushy in as a studio musician for that one).
Arranged by Clark “Plazmataz” Powell. Original “Sarabande” by Erik “Jit” Scheele.
The original version of Sarabande is one of my all-time favorites (my opinion of it has only improved over time). Some remixes change a song completely, or overpower it with counter-melodies or instrumentation changeups. This isn’t a remix of the original track: it’s a love letter to it. A fantastic job, and my top track for the album.
By Clark “Plazmataz” Powell
A symphonic treatment for Serenade from Volume 8, also written by Plazmataz. This one feels a little more like a tune-up: the brief, plucked strings and harp melody give it a new dimension. A soaring, piano-led except from Ruins ends the piece on a strong note.
By Clark “Plazmataz” Powell
A return to the energy of the album’s start: this composition is similar to Overture, if not quite a continuation. It features a fanfare version of Homestuck, and though it’s neat to hear the melody treated a little differently, I think it works a little better on the more low-key side.

Fanart source: Yoshi.
On to the next album: Medium, also by Clark “Plazmataz” Powell. Okay, fine, the guy in the picture’s more of a sooth than a medium, but whatever.
By Clark “Plazmataz” Powell
The strummed mandolin in the first half inspires visions of calm Mediterranean beaches. The second half skews a little more cheerful, shifting the scene to Caribbean shores with a bit of calypso rhythm. With a pretty strong honorable mention to Rain, this one’s my top track for the album.
By Clark “Plazmataz” Powell
With that rising, funky violin intro, it makes a perfect accompaniment for the discovery of a new world. The song rolls in waves. At times it’s improvisational and muted, only to be followed later by another crescendo.
… wow, I did really describe a violin-driven introduction as ‘funky’. I’ve got no better words, so there it is.
By Clark “Plazmataz” Powell

Image source: Homestuck.
The main rhythm sounds like it’s played by inevitable grinding gears, or maybe an elevator making its way down to an unfathomable horror. The violin melody brings with it a bit of an Eastern vibe.
By Clark “Plazmataz” Powell
Starts off with a light melody, yet surrounded by impending danger. The artificial sonic beat in the middle is cool, but my favorite part’s the outtro. With that unsettling, ultra-low synth growl behind the bouncy piano melody, the final two minutes is a dead ringer for a song that John could have played to wake up his denizen.
By Clark “Plazmataz” Powell
The thin, reedy soprano synth melody gives it a new-age feel, but sort of in distress, what with the malicious percussion in the back. I had to replay it a couple of times to catch the Westminster Chimes in the middle around 3:10: the melody is there, but the key’s so different from the rest of the song, it almost hides in plain sight.

‘Tis the season.
Homestuck for the Holidays up next, another unofficial album (though written almost exclusively by members of the music team). The entire album was created to help support the charity Child’s Play – please consider donating!
By Thomas Ferkol
I like the intro, where it sounds as though half the melody is played by the not-quite random whim of the wind through a set of chimes. And the give-and-take between ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’ and Sburban Jungle fits well.
By Mark Hadley
A nice, solid, jazz quartet cover of the old standard. It’s my second favorite version of this particular song (a lot of terrorists have to die before my favorite version can play, though it’s somewhat similar in feel to this track).
By Toby “Radiation” Fox
I’m a fan of Carefree Victory, even though it’s on the short side and not much more than a fanfare. This track fleshes it out a little more and wraps a counter-melody around it, all for the better.
By Jeremy “Solatrus” Iamurri and Nick Smalley
A mashup of Carol of the Bells (the familiar arrangement is surprisingly modern, written in the first half of the 20th century by Mykola Leontovych) and Frost. With a little bit of shoehorning, the bells and the xylophone fit together well, and the simplicity of that horn solo in the middle fits both songs well.
By Robert J! Lake. Based on “Candles and Merry Gentlemen” by Tyler Dever
One of the more musically interesting tunes on the album. It’s a great version of Candles and Clockwork, and the vocals… well… it’s bizarre and ethereal. RJ has a unique sound that shows up in other songs, and I don’t know how else to describe it. Except that I like it.
By Alexander Rosetti
It’s weird, grating, and profane, but I laughed long and hard listening to an intoxicated Squiddle puke (very realistically, I might add) after too much egg nog. Which… somehow creates a Barkley-esque Nog Baby that absolves the Squiddles of all their nog-related sins. Absurd, surreal, and hilarious.
By Nick Smalley

Once I established my headcanon for the narrator as this guy (he built this town out of baling wire and blasting caps!), his ramblings became a little easier to bear. I see the concept, but the old man’s interludes make the album tough to deal with as a long-play.
By Nick Smalley

Nope, Wilbur Cobb didn’t really stick. I’ve already got a new old man headcanon for this dude. More topical.

OK, time for the next review. There were four albums suggested: I’m going to review each of the four next. But which one first?
I’m going to cheat a little and not pick at random. Land of Fans and Music 3 was released about a week ago. Yes sir: brand new (unofficial) Homestuck music, for the first time in about nine months. And free Homestuck music to boot. So let’s dig into this pie while it’s still cooling on the windowsill. LOFAM 3, coming up next.
By Mai Yishan (Catboss)
Of the three mega-medleys arranged for each of the LOFAM albums, this one’s my favorite by far.
The first two (MeGaDanceVaNia off of LOFAM 1 and Dance-Stab-Dance off of LOFAM 2) are really frantic and sort of muffle the melodies with crazy, spastic, techno-rave-apocalypse energy. This newest track, though, is energetic but not rushed. The percussion isn’t so booming and dominating, there’s little quiet breaks here and there, and the meter is just a little slower.
These little tweaks give each individual piece of the tune a little more space to shine. And the melodies are quite well done to boot. I like this one a lot.
By David “Dirtiest” Dycus
Ultra-light glockenspiel (?) set against a lead electric guitar straight out of the 80’s. The chiptune bridge starting around 1:10 makes for a fun break in the middle.