February 2014

By Michael Guy Bowman

It’s maddening. The intro is fantastic, the hook in the bridge at 2:30 is cool as hell, and the shades of Sburban Jungle offer a fitting end for the tune. Yet there’s parts I can’t take seriously. The lyrics of the song are as serious as a Bono charity power anthem, yet.. it’s Bowman behind them. And let’s be honest, his voice is closer to Weird Al than to Bob Dylan.

Hoo, this is quality stuff though. I can’t decide what to make of this song. It’s like… oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Son of a bitch.

God damnit.

By Michael Guy Bowman

Love the bright piano intro (I’m reminded of this, which ironically could probably serve as a subtitle to this album). The song itself is dreamy and surreal. That first verse puts me in the shoes of an intoxicated Problem Sleuth, on his way to imagination shenanigans.

Hrm. New thought. I think that this one pairs up thematically even better with another nautically-themed, far-out, groovy tune.

By Mark Hadley. Honking and vocals added by Toby “Radiation” Fox.

Fanart source: tinikah. What’s that? You haven’t checked out her awesome art blog yet? You totally should!

Crank this bitch. The best part of this song isn’t the dangerous, booming synth. Nor is it the backing strings section that slathers on the tension thick. Or the flighty piano that suggests frightened prey backing itself into a corner. All of these things make the track better, but none of them are the best part of the song.

The horn honks? No. Not even the horn honks. The best part of this song is the malicious, warped vocal sample that haunts us throughout, like a pair of badly-educated, bombastic juggaloes in bad makeup.

MIRACLES.

By Toby “Radiation” Fox

Source for images: Homestuck.

At first it’s like…

… but then it turns all…

It’s almost like the song were…. split into halves.

By Toby “Radiation” Fox

That filthy tuba’s been polished to a high sheen for this remix. Crustacean, from Alternia, fits in seamlessly as a walkaround theme. Just as curmudgeonly, but a little more evenly paced.

By Toby “Radiation” Fox

The steel drum is a big upgrade from the MarioPaint samples used on this tune’s predecessor. It’s less a gimmick and more a cool Caribbean beat.

By Toby “Radiation” Fox

Fanart source: tinikah.

Crazy synth thrash energy. In the middle it borders on chaos, like a 16-bit freight train barreling out of control.

By Alexander Rosetti

This just might be my favorite Cage pick.

It’s a goofy Western piece at its core, but with a sort of ironic authority behind it. From the booming timpanis, to the drawn-out melody, all the way through to the stately “isn’t it sad when a clown cries” coda.

I’d like to be able to say that I haven’t listened to this tune dozens and dozens of times. Yeah. I’d sure like to be able to say that.

On the flip side, I’m happy to say that it puts a smile on my face every time I hear it.

Fanart source: tinikah.

Trollcops (Radio Play) (by Erik “Jit” Scheele, with words by Nick “OMGTSN” Smalley) is a bonus track that takes that base Trollcops melody to its logical conclusion. Well, not quite: this version seems to have come first (according to the liner notes), with the instrumental version following. Regardless, the voiceover’s great, with that stern, staccato ‘30’s cadence.

For a little bit of atmospheric context, check out the introduction to Dragnet from the early '50’s.