romance
is
boring

a homestuck fic rec list by city. featuring dirkjake and some davekat. mind the warnings, i tried to be as thorough with each fic w the appropriate warnings as i could, but if i missed an important warning/tag, please let me know!

comes with my shitty summaries of the fic for your convenience

research and development by sunflowerwonder

Summary: Dirk is a Quartermaster working a dangerous job, while dating and falling in love with civilian Jake English.

Ratings and warnings: Mature, non-graphic background character death, violence

Notes: This fic is unfinished, and seems to be dead, but what is finished is really really good

a spark, a flame, a fire by callmearcturus

Summary: Royalty!AU, Jake English becomes an ambassador of Prospit in the Derse court in exchange for Derse’s aid to his country. Him and Dirk, the prince, dance painfully around each other.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, touch-starvation

adoring by venusianeye

Summary: Jake ties Dirk up and gets him off through soft, gentle praising. Really explicit, really hot.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, mild bondage, praise kink

every borrowed hour by venusianeye

Summary: Post-Sburb, Dirk and Jake adjusting to and not adjusting to life.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, PTSD, violence

Come Lay With Me On The Ground by stormbourne

Summary: Post-Sburb, Jake begins to dream about different timelines, all the while Dirk is becoming more unreachable. Excellent balance of interesting plot, and slow reconciliation, as well as ensemble kids + surviving trolls cast!

Ratings and warnings: Teen, abuse mention

i’m sick, you’re tired, let’s dance by softkats

Summary: Post-Sburb, Dirk and Jake come together and separate in messy ways, it feels melancholy and mournful.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, unhealthy relationship

Little Shop of Horrorterrors by anon author (hosted by nuclearwinter)

Summary: Dirk gets fucked by a plant. That’s. That’s really I can say (actually that’s not all that there is, there is really good Dirk and Jake characterization, reconcilliation and messy messy boys). It’s slightly embarrassing how much I love this fic.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, sex pollen, dubious consent, tentacles..? it’s seriously explicit y’all

pump your veins with gushing gold by callmearcturus

Summary: Despondent sex addict Dirk catches the eye of fae!Jake. I’m a huge stan of anything Arc writes, but trust me. This has all the emotion and sex you’d ever need from a Dirkjake fic.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, magical inebriation/mind manipulation

Thanks For Playing by LandOfMistAndSecrets

Summary: Post-Sburb reconcilliation fic, really focuses on the boys learning to be good to each other, and to communicate.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit (in part 2)

The Cure You’re Looking For Might Be A Symptom Of Something Else, Lovely by LandOfMistAndSecrets

Summary: Jake and his quest to get Dirk Strider to relax, results in feelings and accidental use of Hope Powers

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, dubious consent (due to altered mental states via hope powers), somnophilia

Ghosts: Not Only Real, But Also Probably Stealing Your Boyfriend Right Now by LandOfMistAndSecrets

Summary: Brain Ghost Dirk, and how he fits into Dirk and Jake’s life in Earth C. Like 20k worth of Dirk’s internal monologue leading up to BGDirkJake, amazing characterisation, and will make you fall in love with a ghost.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, threesome

A Litany (In Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out) by sunflowerwonder

Summary: AUs on AUs on AUs on AUs, in which Jake plays the hero. Its hard to summarise, but it’s a pretty incredible read.

Ratings and warnings: Mature, violence

these hollow hills by mimsical

Summary: Post-Sburb reconcilliation fic, in which we begin with the boys literally sleeping together, because trauma is hard. Really spins a relationship that has a feeling of “we aren’t perfect, but maybe we can try to be better, together, going forward”. Probably one of my favourite Earth-C ‘verse fics.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, deals with PSTD and trauma

chamomile, rose water, and other unlikely intoxicants by callmearcturus

Summary: Fairytale-esque royalty AU, in which Dirk is the everlasting Winter King and Jake is an alchemist-turn-handmaiden who sees past the crown of the prince. I make no secret of how much I Love This Fic.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, violence, non-permanent deaths

Finding Faith by Blackforestfire

Summary: Jake is a shepherd in the mountains when he comes across a spirit. Very fairytale-like, with magic and magical beings.

Ratings and warnings: Mature

The Boy and The Raven by ticklishivories

Summary: Thief Dirk Strider attempts to steal from a witch in the woods, and pays the consequences. Another fairytale-like (jeez running theme), elements of magic, very excellent and visual writing.

Ratings and warnings: Mature, violence, scenes of persecution for prejudice (against magic)

So It Goes by TPG

Summary: Dirk-centric post-canon fic where he wakes up in Bro’s body and has to figure out how to handle a 13 year old Dave. Later on (really interesting) plot happens.

Ratings and warnings: Teen, abuse-recovery, non-graphic medical emergency (seizure, vomiting)

cold water by messageredacted

Summary: The Condesce captures Dirk, and tortures him in a ploy to lure out the rest of the Alphas.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, torture, non-consensual sexual content, non-permanent character death

Notes: PLEASE MIND THE WARNINGS, this fic is dark.

opia by Akili_Kuwale

Summary: Post-canon, Dave and Dirk learn to be brothers to each other

Ratings and warnings: Teen, abuse recovery

Raised by Wolves and Other Beasts by autoeuphoric

Summary: Dave, and growing up under his Bro.

Ratings and warnings: Teen, child-abuse, referenced incest, violence

Detective Pony by sonnetstick

Summary: Quintessential reading for all Dirk Strider fans. That’s it. It’s a masterpiece (also comes in audiobook form!)

Ratings and warnings: Strider snark, which feels like it should be a legit warning

Theatre of Coolty by duckface

Summary: The second quintessential Dirk Strider fic.

Ratings and warnings: MORE Strider snark, script format

30th-Century Night by Asuka Kureru

Summary: Alpha Dave finds a homeless Karkat digging through a dumpster, and takes him home.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, dubious consent, age difference

The Eurydice Suite by callmearcturus

Summary: Inception AU, Karkat is the Extractor leading a team of dreamers to free Dirk from AR within his mind. Davekat is the main pairing but it’s a really strong ensemble cast fic in general.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, violence, codependency

Within, Without by reinkist

Summary: Dave and Karkat slowly find comfort in each other on their long journey to a new session. Truly the quintessential Meteor!fic.

Ratings and warnings: Mature, abuse recovery, PTSD, depression, some internalized homophobia

> Dave: survive three years on this rock by madseason

Summary: Dave, and his times on the meteor. Features a lot of growing up, and Dave interacting with all the other meteor residents in a way that’s sometimes hard to find in Meteor fics.

Ratings and warnings: Teen, abuse recovery, depression/anxiety

Despite What You’ve Been Told by Weevilo707

Summary: Karkat insists he doesn’t have feelings for Dave, Dave reassures Karkat he doesn’t have feelings for him. They’re lying.

Ratings and warnings: Teen

Sugar and Spice by DawnGyocry

Summary: Karkat and Dave are meet as young children, and go through the growing pains of Karkat’s transition

Ratings and warnings: Mature, transgender character, gender dysphoria, first time sexual content, some transphobia from young!Dave

hey there bright-eyed mister melancholy by attentionmerrymakers

Summary: Meteorfic. Short but sweet

Ratings and warnings: Teen

tank time by uumiho

Summary: Karkat is a worker at a pet store that cares about animals too much to let random irresponsibly people purchase them. Dave needs a cat to make up for his sister’s cat that he lost.

Ratings and warnings: Mature, past abuse

the calculation by elliptical

Summary: Karkat takes care of his sick husband, post-game.

Ratings and warnings: Teen, sickness (non-life threatening)

Be Still, Be Light (john/davesprite) by PlayerProphet

Summary: John slowly learns more about Davesprite in their journey on the golden Prospitian ship. He learns just how little he really knows about how much Davesprite has been through

Ratings and warnings: Teen, blood, canon character deaths mentioned, depression

age/sex/location (john/dave) by CamouflageCamel

Summary: Mute!Dave fic. Post canon where the kids reacclimate to normal life and John and Dave become college roommates, and John learns sign language to speak to Dave fully.

Ratings and warnings: Teen, disability (mute character)

Vanilla (dirk/AR, dirk/jake) by sunflowerwonder

Summary: Pesterlog fic, AR tries to “help” a sexually frustrated Dirk in matters of him and his boyfriend.

Ratings and warnings: Explicit, cybersex, emotional manipulation, generally dubious content

Notes: mind the warnings

—

and if you are still hungry for more, you can check out my AO3 bookmarks.

enjoy, kids, and please mind the warnings, i am not responsible for ya.

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