What's everyone's current age? :o (mainly the kids)

16 in story.  And so that no one will argue with me: The Beta kids were all 13 in April 2009 when Homestuck started then they spent three years travelling so now they are all 16.  All the Alpha kids were 15 when they were introduced in November 2011 at the start of Act 6.  In story it is currently April 13th, 2012. Dirk, Jake, and Roxy’s birthdays are in December and Jane’s is April 13th so now they are all 16.

Trolls are also 16, or 7.38 sweeps.