April 2015

DOES THE PRE-RETCON TIMELINE STILL EXIST OR WAS IT ALTERED SO THAT NEVER HAPPENED

It technically never happened.

Caliborn why does Gamzee look like a buttplug? I mean, it is a pretty accurate representation but still...

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

Hey Caliborn. I would like to take a moment to say: CALLIOPE RULES (AND IS A SWEET PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL THAT NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS), CALIBORN DROOLS (AND ALSO HOPEFULLY DIES BECAUSE HELL YOU ARE THE RUDEST CHERUB I KNOW)

I AM DROOLING BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO EAT THE CINNAMON ROLL THAT IS SO PRECIOUS TO YOU UNTIL IT IS NOTHING BUT CRUMBS FLOATING THROUGH THE INFINITY OF PARADOX SPACE tUmUt

Is it known where Calliope's hiding place (like with the stage etc) is located? and what exactly it is? It looks like what was left after Caliborn entered his session...

HER HIDING PLACE IS SOMEWHERE IN THE FURTHEST RING HIDDEN AWAY AND IT IS VERY ANNOYING AND HARD TO FIND.

IF ANYONE KNOWS WHERE EXACTLY IT IS LOCATED PLEASE TELL ME BECAUSE I LOST MY SISTER TO MURDER SOMETIME AGO AND WOULD LIKE TO SEE HER AGAIN. AND I DEFINITELY WOULDN’T HAVE HER DOUBLE KILLED AT ALL THAT IS NOT MY INTENTION I JUST MISS MY SISTER.

Caliborn, what's up with your typing? DON'T YOu uSuALLY TYPE LIKE THIS?

NO, DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN KNOW MY STORY? AFTER MY SISTER WAS MURDERED I STOLE HER U AND HER BLOOD COLOR TO PAINT MY TEXT.

hey i was just curious about something. so jade and jake lived all alone for years right? is that actually possible? i mean how can a child survive in an island without anyone at all. kinda same with dirk and roxy i think. did this ever explained?

Dirk and Roxy were left supplies by their ancestors.  Jade had Bec to take care of her so she wasn’t really alone.  Jake on the other hand lived alone on an island full of monsters from the time he was like five, and he’s not the brightest guy, I have no idea how he survived.

do you happen to have a link to the upd8 vines or maybe caliborn's vine account???

They aren’t actually vine.

1. the sound icon in the corner is the one used in the other Homestuck flashes, not the ones located on vines.

2. Vines have their audio buttons on the bottom right corner, not the top left.

3. Vines always link to their vine page even if embedded.

4. If it was an actual vine it’d be viewable on ios devices.

Has the Psiioniic been killed, or is he still alive in the Condesce ship?

He was killed by the Vast Glub which is why it took Condy 612 years to get back to Alternia.

Is what's happening in his right now the worst possibility that can happen in a game session

It’s pretty bad but I don’t think I’d say it’s the worst.  After all, at least not everyone is dead.

when is the next update coming?

While I know a lot of things, the future is not one of them.

Hang on, when was it stated that sacrifical slabs only can be used with one life left? I honestly can't remember seeing any mention of a ceretain amount of lives limiting the use of quest beds/cocoons or slabs.

It’s implied.  Every time a Quest Bed has been used the player had two lives, and every time a Sacrificial Slab has been used they’ve had one.  I guess it could just be a coincidence, but I doubt it. 

In light of recent events, I'm a little confused about Doc Scratch. I see people saying that Doc Scratch was ARquiusprite, but if he was made using Lil' Cal, then shouldn't he be Caliborn/Gamzee/ARquiusprite, and not JUST ARquius?

Yes that’s true but he was definitely more Arquius than Caliborn or Gamzee, just how LE is more Caliborn.  

errgh, which one is "post-scratch Cal?" :( Better yet, has anyone drawn an updated timeline chart for Lil Cal somewhere?

Post-Scratch Cal is the one with Dirk.  and not that I’ve seen but I’m sure one’ll pop up sooner or later.

how old is john?? i thought he was 16 but people keep saying hes 19

John landed in 1996 so in real time he’s be 19, but it’s still 2012 in the story so in story he’s 16 just like all the rest of the kids.

How many followers does this blog have????

I currently have 45,101.

Does this mean that "original" Cal started in the Alpha timeline because it was empty? Also to clarify when you said "repeat," does it mean: Cal starts off in alpha universe, eventually gets the souls of the 3 stuck in it, makes its way to the beta universe via bro(/dirk??), eventually dies, then repeats?

Repeat means start back at the top.  Cal doesn’t actually start anywhere, as a juju his origin is a paradox. His life cycle is a circle.

Is Homestuck officially over now?

Homestuck will never be over

why do you think LE's eyes weren't flashing during the battle?

Too much work for Caliborn.

Could u maybe put a link to the FAQ for us mobile users?

Merry Christmas

If Cal's existance is basically just a circle that just starts over and over again, does that mean that there could be multiple Caliborns/Gamzees/Equiuses inside that puppet??? Or am I missing something, cuz that don't exactly sound right...

Lil Cal’s timeline splits during the Scratch so there are two Lil’ Cals at the same time and the souls can’t go into both so they go into one and the other one is empty.  The one with the souls has it’s eyes ripped out and is probably destroyed and the one without them get the souls put in by Dirk.

why is AR so smart? at least why is he to the fandom?

He’s a super computer capable of solving pi

No, the mirthful messiahs are Caliborn and Calliope. That's why he raised Calliope just the same and never gave Caliborn any advantages. He's even shown to like the Callie baby more than the Cal baby.

When it comes to raising babies you’d prefer a calm baby to one that’s always scratching and biting. But here’s something from an archive of Hussie’s old deleted tumblr saying that Doc Scratch and LE are the messiahs:

LE has always been around influencing troll culture from the start, and it seems he was always the embodiment of the mirthful messiahs the highbloods worshiped, since he was really two beings, Doc Scratch and LE, both “mirthful” puppet-based entities, in their own ways. Gamzee’s honking, the humorous brutality of the subjugglators and their dark spiritual beliefs, all could be traced to LE.“

Do you happen to know the page that featured the midnight crew song? I can't seem to find it. Thanks :D

That would be [S] DD: Ascend more casually.

I though Gamzee was already cut in half by Kanaya, so why is he still alive and dies basically the same way in the upd8?

That was in [S] Game Over which didn’t happen since John changed stuff with his retcon powers.

How did the doll that gave john nightmares make the universe terminal?

If Gamzee didn’t chucklevoodoo up that doll in John’s dreams then he wouldn’t have draw harlequins on his wall and his dad wouldn’t have thought he liked them and bought him the harlequin doll and if the harlequin doll wasn’t bought it wouldn’t have been prototyped and if it wasn’t prototyped the Black Queen wouldn’t have made Jack wear the clown hate and Jack wouldn’t have killed her and obtained the ring.

what was the flash where dream jade saved john?

[S] Descend

Wait, so Gamzee WAS being mind controlled?

The only time he was mind control was by Aranea leading up towards the events of [S] GAME OVER.

Ive been meaning to ask; whos the short robot and cloaked Robot seen with Dirk when hes introduced? And Auto responder is his shades right?

The short one is Squarewave and the tall one is Sawtooth they are his rap-bots. And yes Auto Responder was in his shades.

Then who is Lil Hal?

Lil Hal is Auto Responder

What happened to Sawtooth and his Bro?

what do we know about the LE-looking derse chess piece

You mean Jack English?  Well he was the B2 Jack Noir, he was cuaght trying to assassinate dream Jane and put in Prospitan jail where he stayed for 154 days.  Then he was sent a pumpkin with a bunch of knives and cutting utensils, Crowbar’s crowbar and Lil Cal in it.  Jack looked into Cal’s eyes and got possessed which caused him to stab out his own eyes replacing them with Cal’s and saw off his leg replacing it with a spire from his cell.  Then he killed Jane and Jake and was teleported to the furthest ring by Jade.  And that’s the last we seen him.

Is Roxy a trans girl? Because when she's getting introduced the XY in her name are revealed and it says "The final two chromosomic symbols", does that mean XY are her chromosomes?

She could be, I don’t think that was what Hussie intended, but if you want to headcannon her as trans there’s no evidence to stop you.

Are Squarewave and Sawtooth alive?

As far as we know, Yes

How did Gamzee get Lil Cal into Dave's dream room? I know he used chucklevoodoos but since Cal's supposed to be a juju, it wouldn't make sense for Gam just to have made him out of thin air

My guess is that the Gamzee inside Cal used some chuckle voodoo shit to get in Dave’s dreams since Gamzee in the past but also the future knew that he would cause Cal to get there.  Confusing, I know. So many things about Cal were caused by a different part of Cal, paradoxes are hard to explain.

wait so what actually happened in the update? im really confused

Essentially, it was a lil Cal timeline summary

Could I have a list of the times 413 has played a majorrole in the story? If it's not too much trouble.

Merry Christmas

(Super long theory that had to be split up part 1) Here's a theory: a gray sleeve appears at the end of the Lil Cal flash. The color of this sleeve, if you check in Microsoft Paint (the name of the site... Hmmm...) has a hue of 160, a luminosity of 56, and 60 as the red, green and blue value. That's three 60s. What else has three?

Ohmygod

When did Dirk make Caliborn's leg? I have heard he did but I never noticed when he did it.

They talk about it here, they never mention it’s a leg.

Why do I keep seeing stuff about Jade being alone on the prospit ship during the 3 year trip? I thought John, the sprites, and the consorts were with her? What would Vriska being alive change about that?

John made a deal with Typheus which killed his pre-retcon self and davesprite so Jade spent the three years relatively alone

what happened in the newest update? aka the one with vriskagram, [S] ACT 6 ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5

It summarized some of what changed in the retconned timeline

What was the symbol at the beginning of the A6A6I5 update?

It was Vriska’s horns, which is probably the logo of Vriskagram

I didn't see anything pertaining to it, but could Karkat <> Gamzee still be a thing?

Doubt it since the 5x Showdown didn’t happen post-retcon so Karkat never paped him at all.

Where did weesnaw come from?

This Spongebob scene

I keep seeing this vriska being refered to as vriska (vriska) why is that

can you summarized what happened after john and roxy teleported away with LOWAS

After they teleported to the blank space, John and Roxy walked around for a bit, Roxy phased Bro’s sword out of the ground, John left to do his retcon business, Roxy gave Rose a proper burial marking it with Bro’s sword and tying her mask to it, Jaspersprite showed up and had a touching moment with Roxy, eventually John came back and everyone held hands and then he teleported again.

So how many timelines are there at this point?

So many,  there are so many timelines, I don’t even know where to start.

Do all the alpha-kids live in different times on earth, even Roxy and Dirk? Is it the same for the beta-kids? And if, in which order do they live?

Beta kids all live at the same time landing in 1995-96 making them 13 when Homestuck started, Jane and Jake would have landed in the same timeframe post scratch, Dirk and Roxy being from 413 years in the future of course landed in 2409.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HOMESTU- Fuck, you know a lot about it anyway. Is Calliope actually Caliborn'ssister? There is a rumor that she isn't.

She is not, cherubs don’t have real siblings stated by both Calliope and Caliborn. Calliope called Caliborn her brother to relate to the kids and Caliborn started referring to Calliope as his sister since everyone knew who he was referring to and because he didn’t like her name to begin with.  Also since hearing their other half’s name put them to sleep it was just an easy way to avoid saying one another’s names. 

On what pages do Alpha-timeline John and Roxy get killed by LOWAS and Heiress Jane?

John dies here and Roxy dies here

But fear not, their pre-retcon selves will be taking their places very soon.

Whatever happened to that Hammer Dave got (kinda sorta stole) John From Hephaestus "Fear No Anvil" I think it was called, the one with the time freeze powers. Just curious about why that;s not a thing anymore

John has it but his Pop-a-matic Vrillyhoo Hammer is just better.