Forgotten Homestuck Facts

13/04/2015 15:48:06 ¶ ●

Probably a stupid question, but what is Hussie's class?

THAT PIECE OF TRASH IS A WASTE OF SPACE

13/04/2015 15:51:22 ¶ ●

How did the Handmaid start serving Lord English? I completely forgot :/

THE CUEBALL GUY RAISED HER TO SERVE ME BUT SHE RESISTED SO I PUT A MIGHTY CURSE ON THAT BITCH THAT MADE HER SERVE ME TILL SHE DIED HAHAHAHAHAHA

13/04/2015 15:58:28 ¶ ●

chronologically speaking, how long about did it take for Caliborn's art to improve from just scribbles to how it is now?

IT ONLY TOOK ME A FEW MONTHS. ITS VERY IMPRESSIVE HOW MUCH I IMPROVED IN SUCH A SHORT TIME. IM SURE ALL YOU WATCHING AT HOME ARE EXTREMELY JEALOUS OF MY ART SKILLS.

13/04/2015 16:31:33 ¶ ●

How much swag are you Caliborn?

11 SWAG

13/04/2015 16:33:26 ¶ ●

Where is it stated specifically in canon that Caliborn is Lord English?

YOU SHOULD READ TODAY’S HOMOSUCK UPDATE, I MAKE IT PRETTY CLEAR THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE THE BEEFED UP VERSION OF MYSELF AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE.

13/04/2015 16:36:45 ¶ ●

how come when Jade became a god tier, she absorbed Jadesprite, but when Dave became a god tier, he DIDN'T absorb Davesprite? o:

THIS IS AN EASY ONE. ITS BECAUSE THAT BITCH PROTOTYPED HER SPRITE WITH HER DREAMSELF WHEREAS THAT COOL GUY’S SPRITE WAS PROTOTYPED WITH DOOMED TIMELINE VERSION OF HIMSELF. AND WHEN YOU DIE PN A QUEST BED YOU BECOME YOUR DREAMSELF.

13/04/2015 16:44:42 ¶ ●

Caliborn, would you do the naughty with Dirk?

I WOULD LIKE INTERATE THAT WHILE I AM BEING CALIBORN FOR THE DAY THIS IS NOT BECOMING A ASK CALIBORN BLOG AND WILL FUNCTION AS USUAL SO DONT SEND IN ASKS THAT ARENT ACTUALLY ASKING ANYTHING OF RELEVANCE , BUT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION I MIGHT BE AS SCANDALOUS AS TO HOLD HIS HAND BUT ANYTHING FARTHER THAN THAT WOULD JUST BE PLAIN DISGUSTING, I DO HAVE SOME CLASS YOU KNOW.

13/04/2015 16:46:45 ¶ ●

How did Gamzee go godtier and how did he end up raising Calliope and Caliborn?

THAT STUPID HONKING MORON IS NOT GOD TIER ITS JUST A FUCKING COSTUME. AS FOR HOW RAISED ME AND MY DEAD SISTER, HE USED TIMETRAVEL.

13/04/2015 17:29:38 ¶ ●

how did Gamzee use time travel... ?

HE USED A TIME MACHINE HE GOT FROM SOME BITCH IN ONE OF THOSE DREAMBUBBLES

13/04/2015 17:32:25 ¶ ●

Was there no one else living in Dave's apartment.... At all?

UNKNOWN BUT THAT DIRK LOOK A LIKE THAT LIVED WITH HIM HAD A LARGE SUM OF EARTH CURRENCY SO HE COULD HAVE OWNED THE WHOLE BUILDING FOR ALL I KNOW

13/04/2015 17:45:02 ¶ ●

I'm a little confused as to how the hell your session even worked. I get that it was far from normal, even compared to all the other messed up ones, but that's about it. Something about playing planetary billiards??

I DONT KNOW WHAT BILLIARDS IS BUT HERES HOW MY SESSION WORKED. I HAD TO DO A BUNCH OF BORING SHIT WHICH LET ME TALK TO MY DENIZEN. HE GAVE ME TWO CHOICES ONE THAT WAS STUPID AND THAT I WOULD NEVER CHOOSE AND ONE THAT LET ME CONQUER WORLDS AND KILL THING. AFTER I PICKED THE OBVIOUS CHOICE SKAIA EXPLODED INTO FIFTEEN PLANETS. I HAD TO CONQUER EACH ONE IN ORDER EXCEPT I HAD TO SAVE THE EIGHTH ONE FOR LAST FOR SOME REASON. EACH PLANET HAD A TIME LIMIT THAT GOT SHORTER AS I WENT FROM ONE PLANET TO ANOTHER. THEY ALSO HAD MINIONS THAT GOT STRONGER AS I PROGRESSED AS WELL. TO CONQUER THE PLANET I HAD TO GO TO ITS CORE AND GET A CUEBALL BOMB WHICH I HAD TO USE TO LAUNCH THE PLANET INTO THE BLACK HOLE. AND EVERY TIME A CONQUERED A PLANET I GOT A MINION GUY WITH A COLORED HAT MOST OF THEM WERE PRETTY USELESS. AFTER I DESTROYED ALL THE PLANETS MY HOME TURNED INTO THE LAND OF COLORS AND MAYHEM AND EVENTUALLY I’ll TAKE MY PUPPET MINIONS AND KILL YALDBOOB FOR WHICH I WILL BE GIVEN IMMORTALITY FOREVER AND THE ABILITY TO KILL WHATEVER I WANT.

13/04/2015 18:42:22 ¶ ●

Today is my birthday, an i have been greeted by an onslaught of Caliborn on my dash. Today is a good day.

WHAT IS A BIRTHDAY

13/04/2015 18:44:38 ¶ ●

Caliborn, what spontaneous new art medium will you use next to portray your tragic life story and rise to power? Personally, I'm hoping for finger puppets, but you only have like what, three fingers on each hand?

I WILL HARNESS THE POWER OF GOANIMATE TO MAKE HOMOSUCK THE MOVIE

13/04/2015 20:19:03 ¶ ●

When you ascended to god tier why didn't your tooth and leg heal? Are you faking god tier like your clown friend?

THE CLOWN IS NOT MY FRIEND HE IS MY HENCHMAN. HOW DARE YOU PUT THAT PIECE OF SHIT ON MY LEVEL. tUmUt

13/04/2015 20:22:55 ¶ ●

This has become an Ask Caliborn blog. Happy 4/13

THIS IS NOT AN ASK CALIBORN BLOG. THIS IS A BLOG WHERE I EDUCATE YOU INFERIOR BEINGS ABOUT THE TRUTHES OF HOMESTUCK.

13/04/2015 20:27:42 ¶ ●

Oh my god, I started it. I started making you Caliborn.

HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME CALIBORN WHEN I WAS ALREADY HIM

13/04/2015 20:29:24 ¶ ●

How Karkat gave cancer to that one universe?

HE DIDNT, HE JUST THINKS HE DID BECAUSE HES A SELFLOATHING PIECE OF CRAP. THE CLOWN TROLL WAS THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY DISEASED THE UNIVERSE.

13/04/2015 20:30:57 ¶ ●

Is homestuck trash?

VERY MUCH SO

13/04/2015 21:31:08 ¶ ●

caliborn more like caliDEAD

IM AFRAID YOURE MISTAKEN, YOURE THINKING OF MY SISTER

13/04/2015 21:32:22 ¶ ●

yUo are forgetting yoUr qUirk, my fair brother.

NO IM NOT, I KILLED YOU AND STOLE YOURE UPPERCASE U

13/04/2015 21:46:58 ¶ ●

I heard that on the 15th Homestuck's "masterpiece" will be complete. Does that mean the whole series is ending soon or just the current act?

MY MASTERPIECE WILL BE ENDING ON THE 15TH. HOMESTUCK WILL CONTINUE, PROBABLY FOR ABOUT ANOTHER 1.9 YEARS.

13/04/2015 21:53:32 ¶ ●

Hey are you ready to get your ass handed to you by the good guys? XD

THIS IS A TRICK QUESTION.
I WILL NOT BE GETTING MY ASS KICKED BECAUSE I GOT MY ASS KICKED ONCE AND DECIDED I DIDNT LIKE IT SO I WONT BE DOING IT AGAIN

13/04/2015 21:57:39 ¶ ●

You sure are sure of yourself even though the one who kicked your ass in the first place is with them.

YES WELL I HAVE GOTTEN STRONGER SINCE THEN AND NOW I ALSO HAVE THE CLOWN AND THE TINY ROBOT TO HELP ME

13/04/2015 23:36:10 ¶ ●

how meme are u caliborn

I AM THE BEST AT MEMES

13/04/2015 23:42:16 ¶ ●

When did we learn your planet's name? Was that just in the recent update? Also when was calliopes speech (to roxy I think) about the alpha session?

IT WAS THE TITLE OF TWO HOMESTUCK BAND CAMP ALBUMS AND WAS PRETTY UNANIMOUSLY THOUGHT TO BE ON OF THE CHERUBS PLANETS AND IT WAS CONFIRMED TODAY.

14/04/2015 0:02:31 ¶ ●

What's the significance of Caliborn having the 13th Zodiac sign as his symbol? Besides the whole snake motif does he have a more closer relation to the trolls zodiac than does Calliope?

EMBARRASSINGLY MY SISTERS SYMBOL IS AN OLDER VERSION OF THE ONE I BARE. IT’S CALLED THE OPHIUCHUS AND ITS THE SERPENT BEARER.

14/04/2015 0:04:38 ¶ ●

jane's birthday is 11/11 or 4/13?

IT IS 4/13

14/04/2015 0:18:57 ¶ ●

What was the deal with the Dirk created by Jake? the one that vanished.... was he real or what?

BRAIN GHOST DIRK WAS REAL BUT THEN STOPPED BEING REAL WHEN JAKE RAN OUT OF EXCESS HOPE-ENERGY. HE ESSENTIALLY IS A MAGIC GHOST BABY PIGGYBACKING OFF OF JAKE AND DIRKS POWERS SINCE HE IS ANOTHER SPLINTER OF DIRK AND WAS CREATED THROUGH JAKES HOPE ABILITIES.

AND THE DIRK THAT DISAPPEARED INTO THE GLITTER WAS ALSO REAL. HE WAS THE ORIGINAL.

14/04/2015 0:22:19 ¶ ●

how is gamzee still alive if he's not god tier? I'm pretty sure getting shot multiple times is fatal.

HIGHBLOOD TROLLS ARE VERY DURABLE.

14/04/2015 0:29:14 ¶ ●

What in God's name was able to kill the grand high blood then?? D8

OLD AGE OR THE VAST GLUB OR ANOTHER HIGHBLOOD MOST LIKELY

14/04/2015 0:37:41 ¶ ●

Caliborn why does Gamzee look like a buttplug? I mean, it is a pretty accurate representation but still...

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

14/04/2015 0:41:12 ¶ ●

Hey Caliborn. I would like to take a moment to say: CALLIOPE RULES (AND IS A SWEET PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL THAT NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS), CALIBORN DROOLS (AND ALSO HOPEFULLY DIES BECAUSE HELL YOU ARE THE RUDEST CHERUB I KNOW)

I AM DROOLING BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO EAT THE CINNAMON ROLL THAT IS SO PRECIOUS TO YOU UNTIL IT IS NOTHING BUT CRUMBS FLOATING THROUGH THE INFINITY OF PARADOX SPACE tUmUt

14/04/2015 0:44:04 ¶ ●

I was under the impression that the Summoner killed the Grand Highblood.

YOU ARE MISTAKEN, IF ANYTHING THE GRAND HIGHBLOOD KILLED THE SUMMONER BUT WE DO NOT KNOW IF THAT HAPPENED.

14/04/2015 0:50:08 ¶ ●

Is it known where Calliope's hiding place (like with the stage etc) is located? and what exactly it is? It looks like what was left after Caliborn entered his session...

HER HIDING PLACE IS SOMEWHERE IN THE FURTHEST RING HIDDEN AWAY AND IT IS VERY ANNOYING AND HARD TO FIND.

IF ANYONE KNOWS WHERE EXACTLY IT IS LOCATED PLEASE TELL ME BECAUSE I LOST MY SISTER TO MURDER SOMETIME AGO AND WOULD LIKE TO SEE HER AGAIN. AND I DEFINITELY WOULDN’T HAVE HER DOUBLE KILLED AT ALL THAT IS NOT MY INTENTION I JUST MISS MY SISTER.

14/04/2015 0:53:37 ¶ ●

Caliborn, what's up with your typing? DON'T YOu uSuALLY TYPE LIKE THIS?

NO, DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN KNOW MY STORY? AFTER MY SISTER WAS MURDERED I STOLE HER U AND HER BLOOD COLOR TO PAINT MY TEXT.

14/04/2015 0:56:13 ¶ ●

Hey, quick question. Who DOES have John's wallet right now?

THE LAST TIME IT WAS SEEN ARADIA HAD IT IN THE NOT SO DISTANT PAST