mod T im terrified of your homestuck knowledge


Okay, some backstory first. The juju that gave John his retcon powers, we knew that it was Caliborn’s and it was destined to be used by him once as a weapon and then once against him. Obviously John using it is against him.
So in today’s update we saw Caliborn get the juju and he used it as a weapon and then banished it to the furthest ring with the Ring of Void. The weapon allowed him to take the souls of the Beta kids and trap them inside so they are effectively stuck in a house, homestuck if you will.
Then Caliborn beat up Jake, Jane and Roxy and had a most macho duel with Dirk and defeated him but Jake got back up and started to emit a bunch of Hope energy.
(Keep in mind that all of this is happening in the future so the kids aren’t trapped or beat up yet)
Arquius had been hinted at by Doc Scratch. Doc Scratch was made from Lil Cal (so part of arquius). The Doc and Lil Hal speak very similarly and are both hyperintelligent. Also on page 005527 (sorry I’m on mobile and can’t link) Doc Scratch tells Rose to think of him as her human uncle and he participates in Equius’s signature “yes, no, yes, no” thing.
There is a more drawn out theory written by Bladekindeyewear a few years ago on the same topic that I would highly recommend checking out.
As for Dirk, he arrived with Cal, they’ve literally always been together. That was the only relationship he had until he met the other kids. You’d come to value a puppet as a friend too if that was the only type of interaction you had for years.
Yes, most likely.
Yes and Unknown.
Caliborn is, in essence, explaining the “final boss battle” the kids wage against him, which wraps up a number of longstanding mysteries of the comic
so here we go:
- John, using his retcon powers, warps himself and the other 7 God Tier kids to go battle Caliborn, ambushing him before he becomes Lord English.
- They fight Caliborn and Gamzee; Gamzee is cut in half in the ensuing fracas.
- Caliborn activates the Juju he received upon completing his quest, the Homestuck Logo Thingy; it’s power traps John, Rose, Dave, and Jade’s souls inside it.
- Caliborn uses the Ring of Void to banish the Juju to the Dream Bubbles, where Vriska found it. This completes a time loop in which John gets the retcon powers in the first place, only to later be sealed away in the very object that give him the powers.
- The remaining four kids battle Caliborn.
- Caliborn defeats all of them, but Jake’s hope powers activate and allow him to deal massive damage to Caliborn. Caliborn, angered but impressed, decides to rename himself Lord English.
- Unfortunately, since Caliborn is basically immortal, the attack still only stuns him.
- Arquius launches a sudden and unexpected counter-attack, ambushing Caliborn with robotic horses (as foreshadowed by Hussie here).
- While Arquius holds onto Caliborn, Dirk uses his soul powers to trap Caliborn’s soul inside Lil Cal. Unfortunately, Arquius and half of Gamzee are also pulled into Lil Cal in the process, creating the horrible abomination known as Lord English.
- Roxy tries to banish Caliborn’s soul forever by sending Lil Cal into the void, but this allows Lil Cal access to the multiverse, presumably because Caliborn had the Ring of Void. Lil Cal’s existence has always been a bit of an unexplained paradox, and this finally explains how he was able to appear in Dave’s nightmares.
where does this leave us?
- Lord English is continuing his multiversal rampage
- the Beta Kids are trapped inside the Homestuck Logo Thingy, which is currently in the possession of either Meenah or Aradia
- the Alpha kids are stuck on Caliborn’s planet without John to teleport them away
- the surviving Trolls, who did not come with the Alpha kids, are probably stuck with the Condesce, who is continuing her plan to complete the Alpha kid’s session and create a new universe to rule over
When Dirk stuck Caliborn and Arquius in Cal half of Gamzee got caught too. Caliborn didn’t say so in the naration so a lot of peps have been missing it.
Timeline of changed events:
Gamzee isn’t allowed to fool around on his own with Vriska around. A+
Vriska promptly goes into Auspistice mode with Terezi and Gamzee. A++
Karkat hates himself a lot less without Terezi/Gamzee happening and without Terezi mourning Vriska. Possibly dating Dave now. Terezi hates herself a lot less without Vriska being dead. Scourge Sisters rise again! A++
Vriska helps out Kanaya with alcoholic Rose. Are they back to being moirails? HMM. A+
Gamzee whines to Kurloz that Vriska has changed the timeline somehow. A+
Without being tied down by alcoholism, Rose and Kanaya’s relationship friendship is pretty well off. (That said, it was drunk!Rose that asked her out. Did this happen in this timeline? WAS ROSEKAN REPLACED BY DAVEKAT OH NO)
Alive!Vriska met Dating-Meenah Vriska. Awkwaaard.
Vriska uses the time machines instead of Gamzee to create better, more balanced sprites for the alpha kids. Now they’re just stretching things but this is probably in line with the “Vriska keeps messing with Gamzee’s shit” changes.
That said, Tavrosprite being allowed to live without blowing up? A+++
No
To the surprise and shock of many Johnkat, daverezi, and karerzi shippers everywhere, maybe.
Yes, in the current timeline though were are left with just a Tavrossprite.
She has the megido time machine music boxes, probably got them from Aradia
Unknown
Now the upd8 is very confusing so here’s how I’m interpreting it.
The Meteor Crew has just rescued Jake from Derse and now they are hiding from the Condesce. They’re on the platform that is where the Genesis Tadpole is released at and allowed to grow, that probably isn’t relevant though. I do not know why the planets are gone.
Hopefully we’ll get some clarification in the next upd8.
Today’s upd8 confirms that in the retconned timeline Erisolsprite and Fefetasprite never existed.
This is a sad day in Homestuck.