September 2024

one of the biggest persistent misconceptions homestuck readers have is that all events in Sburb are controlled by some overarching, interfering intelligence, and that this intelligence’s name is Skaia. when a character is given a particularly cruel or gruelling hero quest, “Skaia orchestrated it”; when a character’s actions cause a timeline to become a doomed offshoot, it’s because “Skaia didn’t want that to happen”. but this is explicitly untrue:

ROSE: … Skaia is a very passive entity. It only “knows” and “sees,” but it never quite “acts.”
ROSE: When it is asked to change everything, there is only so much it has control over.
ROSE: In fact, it has control over exactly one thing. The defense portals.
ROSE: It can decide to send important meteors to different points in time than originally planned, thus creating alternate realities.

(remember how all games of Sburb start off with the exact same parameters, and it’s only data input by the players that causes events to deviate?)

this is related to, and compounded by, another misconception which came to be common toward the latter half of the story: people fundamentally misunderstand what a “narrative” is and therefore get it into their heads that in order to be a narrator a character needs some kind of “narrative powers” - where did dirk get his “narrative powers”; how can doc scratch be the author-figure of alternia if he “doesn’t have narrative powers”? people think that, in order to have dominion over the incipisphere, Skaia must be some kind of wizard, capable of both predestining events and shaping reality to match its predictions. and i have occasionally humoured or implied support for this interpretation by referring to “what Sburb wants” or “Sburb’s agenda”, but these are merely convenient anthropomorphisations. the fact is that anyone can tell a story, and almost any kind of power can be wielded to reinforce a chosen narrative: highbloods control the narrative on alternia simply by living a long time; lord english controls the narrative not by conducting every single event to his whim but by being present at the beginning and setting small, key events in motion… Sburb is much the same. a video game is a type of story which can control its outcome with rules and code, but that’s the full extent of its power; the rules and code can’t change, no matter who’s playing the game, no matter what the supercomputer running the game “thinks”, and no matter what immortal time-travelling demon may or may not have hijacked the process.

in one sense, yes, Skaia has been made Lord English’s “servant”. but in another, more important sense, Skaia cannot “serve” anything, nor can it be “for” or “against” anyone, because it is not a moral entity. Skaia is simply the cosmic force of creation, and creation and destruction are not good and evil. creation is an intrinsically neutral act, which can be at one time beautiful and at another time devastating - as in cancer, which is a disease caused be cells reproducing without limit! (and in the inverse: not only is destruction not always a net negative in homestuck, it is almost always a requirement for growth and rebirth; heroes must die to become gods, planets must die to give birth to new universes… the destruction of universes is not a uniquely disparagable crime that Lord English is committing, but rather a larger manifestation of a pattern that is intrinsic to the ecosystem of Paradox Space itself, just as it is intrinsic to real-life ecosystems.) this is in fact exactly what Karkat alludes to when he speculates the universe he created is cancerous. as should be obvious, there’s nothing actually physically wrong with the universe he created; it’s just that, like a virus or a cancer, Lord English has hijacked the process of creation for his own ends and made his own birth inevitable if the process of creation continues unchecked - a process which the horrorterrors, gods of death who at first seem to be malevolent but are in fact revealed to be victims, attempt desperately to prevent!

you are, on a technical level, completely right: at no point in the Pharaoh Hulk’s* timeline was he ever literally Lil Cal. he emerges straight from Doc Scratch, who was only ever a clone of Lil Cal. but you’re making a critical error by thinking of the Hulk and B2 Jack as if they’re meant to be two different guys.

*I’ve always known this iteration of Lord English as the “Mobster Hulk” version - google seems to be telling me it’s basically only my posts that use this phrasing but I’m guessing I must have picked it up on the forums.

I won’t give you the long-winded explanation about Ultimate Selves and how it’s the idea of a person that matters more than the specific body they inhabit because I already have about a dozen posts on the subject and I’m sure everyone’s sick of hearing it by now. so I wanna focus on two specific and related reasons why “Real Lord English” and “Copy of Lord English” is a false dichotomy, based specifically in an area of Homestuck’s worldbuilding that doesn’t really get talked about so much:

1. Jack Noir’s version of Lil Cal is just a copy too! Roxy banished the one containing Lord English’s soul into nonexistence, so that in Caliborn’s words it will “FLUTTER THROUGH THE SHADOWS FOR ETERNITY. SURFACING IN THE NIGHTMARES OF THE UNSUSPECTING.” Gamzee is not a Thief of Void, he can’t steal things back out of the darkness; he’s simply a psychic whose chucklevoodoos can “amplify fears through dreams.” The Lil Cal that emerges in Dave’s dreams, is adopted by his Bro, and one day makes the journey to Jack’s prison cell is just a manifestation of Dave’s fear of puppets; the one that Roxy banished is still out there.
2. First rule of jujus, bro: “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!” “if there ever appears to be more than one of the same, it is only a mirage of caUsality!”

cultured readers will be able to draw the line between the two phrases i’ve put special emphasis on. Homestuck uses the terms existing terms “voodoo” and “juju” to deliberately evoke an anthropological concept which is found around the world but is most pop-culturally associated with African and Afro-Carribean spirituality: Lil Cal is a fetish. his power comes not from the fact that he is composed of some special material (or because, as you suggest, he has some kind of unique or special genes), but from the fact that spiritual power is ascribed to him. think of a religious idol; there can be a million idols to the same one deity, but the power of each idol will be exactly the same, because each has the same spiritual significance.

put in overly-simplistic terms which aren’t necessarily accurate but speak to a recurring theme in Homestuck: a juju works because of the belief that it works.

this is what Calliope and Caliborn mean when they speak of “bad juju”, some kind of mystical force which Lil Cal is filled with. the “juju” isn’t the object at all; it’s an enchantment associated with the object. Calliope says a juju can’t ever be destroyed, and yet Lil Cal is torn to shreds and repaired on multiple occasions - it’s the magic, the juju, that persists. this is the only way an object with a self-perpetuating origin could possibly exist, or else the object would just keep becoming more and more worn with each loop of its timeline.

Scratch and Caliborn both say it: “Instances of [Scratch] have spawned in countless universes”, just as Lil Cal will continue to infiltrate the dreams of infinite children and take Caliborn “FROM UNIVERSE. TO UNIVERSE. TO UNIVERSE.” importantly, it’s implied actually quite early on in the comic that you can’t really “clone” a “soul”, because paradox clones kind of follow similar rules to jujus; there can only be one TRUE clone, who will always travel back in time to become their own origin, and all other clones are “MALFORMED MUTANTS” with no bearing on the timeline. so the exact circumstances through which Cal arrives in each universe, be it via ectobiology or clown voodoo, don’t matter: every copy is either a) inert or b) actually the same Lil Cal at a different point in its circuitous timeline.

in other words - thanks to a time loop of his own orchestration! - all versions of Lord English have to be decapitated and/or collapse into a black hole at the end of their lifespan because they all have to ultimately return to the void. you’re really not that far off the mark in that there is a tragedy in the fact that Caliborn believes he will “GET STRONGER. AND OLDER. AND BIGGER. AND BUFFER!” each time he destroys a universe. the tragedy is just that he thinks turning into Mobster Hulk is the end goal when in fact by making himself immortal he has ensured there IS no end goal: he’s trapped being reborn as new Lil Cals in new universes forever and ever. no matter how many brief excursions he takes out into the universe to play the villain, his essence is trapped in the void for all time.

i’m gunna play good cop bad cop here cus there’s an answer you don’t want to hear and then there’s a sort of interesting consolation prize answer at the end.

the answer you don’t want to hear: it doesn’t matter! :P i don’t think this really needs explaining but the whole point of davepeta/jasprose’s ultimate self spiels is that tying yourself in knots trying to figure out who’s “pre-retcon” and who’s “post-retcon” is, as they say, for the birds. john is john is john. hussie didn’t “forget” that there are supposed to be two jaspersprites: while a story can occasionally get away with having two Daves or two Roses because Dave and Rose have interesting things to say to themselves, the fact that homestuck has even ONE character called jaspersprite simply strains the reader’s ability to give a shit. there is the room nor the need for TWO jaspersprites, of all the damnedest things.

(there can be two nannasprites because two nannasprites are funny - but if there’s one thing worse than creating the same CHARACTER twice, it’s telling the same JOKE twice.)

the other answer is about sprites in particular. do you know why video game graphics used to be called “sprites”? i only thought to look this up just recently: it’s because, like the fairies or spirits of folklore from which they get their name, they float above the background of the game world without interacting with it directly. this should form the basis for our understanding of homestuck’s kernelsprite, as well, which borrows both from folklore and from computer programming. they are of course ghosts on a literal level, with spritely undead tails and the ability to pass through walls and physical barriers like they weren’t there - but the way they interact with the story itself is similarly ethereal-and-or-ephemeral.

sprites appear at the whim of the heroes to serve a very particular purpose - which, you will notice, is exactly what davepeta says they’re doing when they show up in hell - but then the moment that purpose is complete they might as well stop existing. dave- and jadesprite show up inexplicably on the battlefield as the reckoning begins: are they killing themselves now that their purposes are complete? where are all the lususprites, anyway; did they do the same thing? erisolsprite initially seems to indicate that he’s going to fuck off and possibly explode like all the other sprites who hate themselves, but then just shows up again 200 pages later later at the convenience of the trickster arc. the same is true of all the sprites presumed-dead following the events of GAME OVER, who show up as-needed in the new timeline to form the next generation of redundant ghost freaks. this is simply how sprites operate. whether they’re “alive” or “dead” at any given moment is the wrong way of looking at it - they’re ghosts for goodness’ sake!!

the fact that the story never tells us what happened to “that other jaspersprite” is supposed to make us think less about it, not more, because knowing where one of them is - the “ultimate” one, in fact - should be enough to put our minds at ease. but it also deliberately leaves the door open for another jaspersprite to show up if the story ever somehow, against all odds, finds a place to squeeze one in. which is again exactly what the plot point is currently doing with sprites like erisol, who for all intents and purposes was dead up until the moment page 666 started