my immediate gut reaction to the Epilogues, which was a creeping paranoia that Dirk had been responsible for Homestuck the entire time (commentary from Book 2, p. 131: “The orange fingers are my fingers. Why are they orange? Let’s not answer that question.”), mostly fell to the wayside after the first week as I began to focus on other interpretations… but now I wonder.

You possess the extreme dexterity to operate your FALSE FRIENDS UNSEEN, that is, when they are not pre-ambulatory through your LOVINGLY IMBUED MECHANIZATION.