30/01/2018 08:05:39 ¶ ●

## homestuck characters, sorted by how good they are at hugs

1. karkat: he sizes you up and figures out exactly how to hug you and delivers astoundingly perfect hugs every time. simply the best there is at hugs.
2. jane: good at hugs, always smells nice. has years of hug practice from her dad.
3. dave: very physically affectionate. gives great hugs.
4. roxy: a good hugger, squeezes a bit too hard. but you know she’s squeezing because she cares, so it evens out.
5. jade: affectionate and enthusiastic! a bit too enthusiastic sometimes. has occasionally bowled someone over.
6. jake: tends to hug people when he’s excited about something, so his hugs err on the brief side, but still enjoyable.
7. dirk: surprisingly decent. has the mechanics of hugging down. often psyches himself out beforehand, though, leading to an unsatisfactory hugging experience. minor risk of his shades poking you in the neck.
8. kanaya: though her hugs are nice, she often doesn’t squeeze firmly enough. bonus: sometimes she’s wearing very silky fabric that is nice to touch.
9. john: decent at hugging but tends to do the back slapping/patting thing.
10. calliope: dangerous to hug due to very sharp elbow points, but so cute that it evens out, mostly.
11. rose: gets nervous and does the hug where your bodies don’t touch at all and you just sort of squeeze each others’ shoulders unless she’s very comfortable with you.
12. terezi: simply too pointy to hug. you fear being punctured if she hugs you. tends to sniff you very obviously while doing it, which can be off-putting.