do you like this headcanon and want to use it? thats fine, just dont say its canon and let other people have different headcanons in peace ffs
im tired of people assuming it’s canon and have personally gotten badgered about it on multiple occasions, and have witnessed other people in the fandom getting shit for having a different headcanon and using it in their fics/art. i got asked by someone from the davekat discord to compile all the shit ive written before into a post so here goes
1. trolls have a term for hermaphrodite and use it to refer to Equius’ lusus’ species exclusively. if they dont have a term or concept of homosexuality due to having a preference not being the norm, then it doesnt make sense that they would for hermaphrodite if they were too and not make a distinction.
2. not only that, but Kanaya finds it weird that humans can produce milk yet aren’t hermaphrodites. And we know for a fact that female trolls don’t produce milk because Arquiusprite outright said so.
3. in a discussion about sexual reproduction, Aranea said that trolls reproduced bisexually. given that she referred to humans as reproducing heterosexually, this was clearly referring to sex, not gender. in which case its outright stated that they have two sexes in canon. she couldnt have been lying because she was talking about this while surrounded by other trolls, and why would she anyway? also this doesn’t take into account the mother grub, because under the common fandom hc that would be technically heterosexual.
4. honestly the concept of gender popping up without differing sex as a starting point doesn’t really make all that much sense, and given that they do have dimorphism that correlates with their used pronouns its more likely that differing sex is an evolutionary remnant like Hussie suggested on his formspring back in the day. this isnt much of a logic jump considering the hermaphroditic headcanon gives the trolls a vagina that is 100% vestigial too. if they were to have no differing sexes to base gender off of, it would make more sense that they would have made gender based off of something FAR more integral to their society as the blood castes.
dimorphic trolls are canon:
TG: one of you fuckers thought i was a girl
AT: oK, yEAH, bUT,
AT: tHE THING IS, tHAT i DON’T CARE,
AT: aBOUT YOUR ANATOMICAL DETAILS, aND THINGS LIKE THAT,
5. based on any context shame globes are clearly meant to be balls and are external and everyone who has that headcanon likes to ignore the term’s existence. also this scene wouldnt be nearly as funny if that wasn’t Hussie’s intention.
CCG: TIME TO RELAX. LET’S ALL CRAWL INTO OUR COCOONS AND GET BUSY STIMULATING OUR AUTOEROGENOUS SHAME GLOBES.
how do you even stimulate something thats internal? (i mean… i guess if its something via an orifice but it just sounds like a weird concept especially if its plural)
?CG: THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT WHICH GUY CAN MANAGE TO BE THE HEFTIEST SACK OF SHAME GLOBES TO ONE ANOTHER.
theyre in a sack.
CG: OH, I BET IT IS JUST THE BIGGEST FUCKING BLAST A GUY CAN HAVE WITHOUT A PAIR OF SHAME GLOBES SECURED IN HIS TWO TREMBLING FISTS.
“pair” and external since theyre able to be grabbed.
CG: SO OUT OF EVERYTHING WE JUST TALKED ABOUT, THIS IS THE THING THAT HAS YOU TRIPPING GLOBES? WHATEVER YOU SAY!
MEENAH: the leadership thing is hard as globes
and here its being used as a substitution for “tripping balls” and “hard as balls”
6. the term nook likely refers to ass/asshole. here is every mention of the word in the comic:
GC: ONC3 YOU M4K3 1T 1M SUR3 3V3N YOU 4ND YOUR UND3RD3V3LOP3D BON3 NOOK W1LL B3 4BL3 TO F1GUR3 OUT WH4T TO DO
CG: YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHERE A BUNCH OF MOANY NOOKSUCKERS SING AT A LITTLE PINE TREE I THINK.
Your hacker buddy is obnoxiously good at it. He’s sent you some files which you still don’t understand, but you’re not going to admit that. He is even better at making viruses than you, which really gets stuck in your nook.
You are always up to your nook in the newest and hottest games. It is hard to walk around the place without squishing them.
AG: Man, now I’ve got this huge 8eefgrub lodged in my nook just thinking a8out him.
AG: aLSO uMMM dUHHH,,,, uMMM,,, i AM SORRY FROM THE 8OTTOM OF MY NOOK,,,,,,,,,,
AG: Anyway, Kanaya is missing in action, and Karkat has his head up his nook with his new sta88y h8friend.
PCG: CHOOSE YOUR CLASSES NOW! LEVEL 69 NOOKSNIFFER IS UP FOR GRABS, WHO WANTS IT.
CG: YOU REALLY ARE A SMUG NOOK WHIFFER, JOHN EGBERT.
CG: I’M FED UP WITH THESE BACK DOOR NOOKBITING SHENANIGANS.
CCG: I JUST NEED TO AIR OUT SOME SHIT WITH SOMEBODY, AND EVERYONE HERE HAS THEIR HEADS SO FAR UP THEIR NOOKS I WANT TO SCREAM LOUDER THAN I USUALLY DO.
MEENAH: that is nook loads of time
CRONUS: taking me to task for ripping captor a sorely deservwed newv nook.
nothing about these specifically suggest a vagina. in fact half of these are substitutions for common expressions where ass/asshole is used.
You are always up to your nook in.. = You are always up to your ass in..
head up his nook = head up his ass
BACK DOOR NOOKBITING SHENANIGANS (…who bites a vagina??)
HEADS SO FAR UP THEIR NOOKS = HEADS SO FAR UP THEIR ASS
that is nook loads of time = that is ass loads of time
taking me to task for ripping captor a sorely deservwed newv nook = ripping someone a new asshole
so go forth and dont feel like you have to adhere to a hc that likely isnt canon anyway and make your own shit if you want to, and stop giving people shit when they dont agree with it.
