things that fuck me up pt. 2
dave watching rose immediately latch onto kanaya, experiencing terezi prioritize vriska over him, realizing he can’t contact jade or john and feeling so fucking jealous and lonely
dave slowly getting used to spending time with people who like and desire his company
dave slowly letting his desire for attention and affection win out over his instincts
the first time he catches himself thinking of him and karkat in the same context as rose and kanaya and every subsequent self conscious moment afterward, sleepless nights staring at the ceiling thinking about every girl he ever had a crush on and every boy he told himself he didn’t like THAT way and wondering how you know what’s real and what’s not because how can it all be real it’s too much no one FEELS that much that’s absurd right? what the fuck is wrong with him?
(and meanwhile, in the next room over, karkat is laying awake and having the exact same problem except instead of bisexuality, it’s – how can you imagine a person in every quadrant so easily, how can one person fit every qualification you could possibly want in a moirail, matesprit, kismesis, how could that possibly all be the same person, what the fuck is wrong with HIM?)
dave strider waking up in the middle of the night with the white hot bolt of clarity that comes with understanding that something you always took for granted was a complete fucking lie and now you have to relearn the way the entire world works, only the world is fucking over and how can you be prepared to create a new one when you were so damn wrong about the old one from the start?
wow this is some heavy feels bro