a guide to homestuck classes
Prince: Imma do the thing
literally everyone in a 2km radius: please please don’t do the thing
Prince, covered in blood and surrounded by burning corpses: too late
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Knight: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don’t do it
Knight: dude we are surrounded, wounded and have about a 99.9% chance of dying painfully, if you have a better option then I’m all ears
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Thief: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don’t do it
Thief: I don’t think you understand just how funny it is that you think you have a say in this
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Heir: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don’t do it
Heir, relieved: oh thank goodness now i don’t have to
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Witch: Imma do the thing
Someone: Oh thank god, you’re finally doing it, we’ve been holed up in here just waiting for you to do it and you never would
Witch:
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Seer: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don’t do it
Seer: Excuse me I have been planning for the better part of a DECADE I have like 4 backup plans I have this entire thing down to a SCIENCE how DARE you tell me I shouldn’t do this
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Page: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don’t do it
Page, on the verge of tears: y-yeah you’re right
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Mage: Imma do the thing
Someone: What thing??
Mage: //has already left//
Someone: shit
—
Someone: hey, so uh–
Sylph: you did the thing, didn’t you
Someone: yes
Sylph: you failed, didn’t you
Someone: …yes
Sylph: knew it
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Maid: //does the thing//
Someone: now normally I’d tell you not to do that but since it made a lot of things go right for once I’ll let it slide
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Rogue: So you want me to do the thing
Someone: Yes
Rogue: Fully realizing that this thing is incredibly dangerous and could potentially hospitalize us
Someone: Do you have a problem with that?
Rogue: No, no, I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page
—
Bard: ;o)
Someone: what the fuck
Bard: //does the thing//
Someone: WHAT THE FUCK