05-Jun-16 8:30:32 AM ¶ ●

okay to answer that last ask i had to dig through my old files (2011 old) and i found this great gem from when dave and john go to a brothel.

John: are you sure this is legal?

Dave: man the only thing illegal about this place is how good i look in this suit

Dave: one look at me and ill get a full refund

Dave: for being so hot

John: my dad always said you shouldn’t have sex without love.

Dave: my dad always said the lonelier the better

Dave: more money for me

Dave: so is that what you want john

Dave: is what you want smuppet porn

John: no.

Dave: then tell your little solider its time for battle

Dave: lets make this gettysburg

Dave: four score and seven fucks ago my dick was the union

Dave: and troll pussy was the confederates

Dave: its the emancipation proclamation that im freeing you from virginity

John: you were always really bad at history…

Dave: are you talkin or cockin

John: cockin i guess…