19-Dec-14 2:48:00 AM ¶ ●

## Since you are officially a JadeKat expert, what are some fics you really like with the two of them? Any tropes you like or ones that you find tired within that tag? Sorry if that's a lot to cover in one ask

Oh MAN, have I got answers for this ask. Have I got answers.

The fics I’m drawn towards are not very shippy since they’re mostly elaborate AUs which tend not to lend themselves well to romance (speaking of which, your fic looks pretty baller, I’m going to read that once I’m done), so I’ll be ordering this rec list from Most Jadekat to Least Jadekat, the last of which is pretty much straight up gen.

Five First Kisses, Asuka Kureru (Askerian) - If you haven’t read this fic, you haven’t lived.

There’s a She-Wolf in her Closet, HSO Team Jadekat 2012 - This isn’t a fic, it’s a visual novel from back in the day that I programmed. However, I didn’t write/draw anything on this one (that credit would go to my 9 other teammates)! You are free to enjoy without being like, ‘ha, that oxfordroulette, reccing her own writing, what a narcissist.’ Anyway, two in a half years later and I still laugh at every joke. (Applebees)

Call of Shakira: Gears of Jadekat, HSO Team Jadekat 2012 - Again, this one’s a game I programmed, and I did not do the writing or art for it (minus the troll country buffet background, my magnum opus which shall never be dethroned). It’s funny, in character, and the backgrounds are beautiful. My one regret is the stupid Jade-sprite freezing for like a second after any dialogue which fucks up the walk cycle. I still think about my programming failure there and weep a little.

Midnight Flush, friendlybatteringram - This fic rec list is slowly turning into a mixed media hodgepodge, but when is anyone going to ask me the question ‘top five elaborate jadekat comics?’ Never. The answer is never. Anyway, this comic is great fun, has excellent dialogue, has a good serving of Jadekat, and this author’s handwriting is killer. Seriously, I could stare at those capital letters all day. Damn.

Midnight City Madness, FH14 - Oh, hey, an actual fic. This AU is similar to the previous comic, with lots of Spades Slick, bad romance advice, weird mafia plot shit, and good worldbuilding! It’s also got the funniest Karkat dream sequence I’ve ever read.

The Thief of Prospit, mitspeiler - I gotta say this fanfiction isn’t for everyone- it’s a love letter to the old romance movies in the golden age of Hollywood. It’s one hundred percent an adventure fanfic, and you need to just let yourself be tugged along by the long, gorgeous descriptions and winding, imaginative plotlines. Also it’s got a lot of Vriska/Karkat interaction, which is my silver bullet.

C’est Magnifique, mais ce n’est Pas la Guerre: c’est de la Folie, composer - I’m bolding this one because it’s damn good. I could shout this fanfic’s praises from a mountaintop and send my sound echoing across valleys and it still wouldn’t be loud enough. Jadekat is only a small piece of this, but if you are going to read one fic on this list it should be this one. I originally clicked on this fic thinking it would be an absolute trainwreck (a WWII AU in France? Am I in the ‘terrible Hetalia ideas’ section again? I have to witness this.) but it turned out to be gorgeous. And heartbreaking. And brilliant. And most importantly, dead fucking accurate on the historical side. Read this.

Child Gods: Emotions, Consequences, and Clauses of Sanity Through the History of Art, 8The_Great_Perhaps8 - Not much to say about this one, it’s written like an art history paper and is a good, creepy look at what the world would be like if the beta kids were gods. I live for this faux academia shit. FYI, jadekat is barely in this one.

And to answer your second question, here’s the worst jadekat fanfic I could ever think up:

“F-f-fuckass,” stammered tsundere Karkat, who was the picture of a TV trope. “I am so into you, for mysterious reasons that are not developed upon because it’s assumed you already ship us. Fuck fuck fuck.”

“Oh my gosh!” said Jade, tearing up. “I like you for some reason despite you treating me like shit! I am crying now.”

“Hey,” said Dave, appearing. “Jade sucks ass, and I’m a huge douchebag. I dumped her because I am totally not a dweeb and have a million salty bitches hanging out on my arms.”

“Boo hoo,” sobbed Jade, as Dave went to go make out with John and/or Terezi, it was not very clear. “I need a boyfriend or I am lost!!!!”

“I am that. I am romance,” said Karkat, putting a totally smooth arm around her. “You are an assfuck.”

“I will accept your nickname because I don’t understand how arguments work!” said Jade, tears pouring down her face like she was some kind of airhead feminine stereotype stock character. She nuzzled into his armpit like a deer wanting to lick salt. “Wait, no, I suddenly do. You’re the assfuck here!!!”

“You are so original, and I mean that unironically. Let’s stay together forever despite our constant arguments and apparent lack of good humor in this shitty fic implying otherwise.”

“Tee hee hee,” she giggled, her tears becoming the ocean in which they drown to their deaths. “Okay, we’re kissing now.”

Then they smooched, and it was terrible, for everyone, and that includes you.