01-Feb-18 1:37:47 AM ¶ ●

## youre my favorite author i just thought you should know. all your homestuck stuff is gold and that profane compass thing is pretty good too. thank you for making things

thank you!!! man sorry i went on indefinite hiatus with that. i wanted to experiment with writing a full outline for something and sticking to it, but apparently I lose interest REAL QUICK if I’m not semi-pantsing it and constantly thinking of new shit to slap in a story.

have some dirk cheesecake, because he’s been ignored thus far.

01-Feb-18 7:52:16 AM ¶ ●

## Vanitas vanitatum - Chapter 14

no pictures this chapter. this one’s short– it’s kind of like the beach party episode before everyone dies (jk that was a simile. no major character permanently dies in this fic)

(start at the beginning here!)

02-Feb-18 1:14:44 AM ¶ ●

## I mcfucking uhhhhhhhhhh love your writing?

mcfucking thanks!!! have a fancy john headshot

i wanna color this one in…. maybe for the next chapter announcement post….

03-Feb-18 8:13:35 PM ¶ ●

## thank you for all these wonderful doodles and also because im kinda weird and got a bit bored i did the math and YOU PUT A CHAPTER OUT ON AVERAGE EVERY 3.6 DAYS MY DUDE HOW THE FUCK. YOU GODDAMN TIME BENDING WIZARD.

nah i’m just an organization wizard who really likes deadlines and bar charts. i did >50k words of this fic for nanowrimo, and have been continuously filling in scenes i skipped over since then, so it’s actually been a struggle to NOT post chapters faster lol. there’s going to be a point where the updates just like, deadass slow to a crawl (after… chapter 21, i think) because as of now i’ve got NOTHING prepared past that point. anyway have a johndirk doodle

i feel like i haven’t done enough to emphasize their height diff. john is like. crouching. in this pic

03-Feb-18 9:31:52 PM ¶ ●

## oooh fuck that height dif though like. it didnt actually hit me how big it was until id reread the story a couple days ago and stopped to look over the character sheets and went waIT A FUCKIN MINUTE THERES A 14 INCH HEIGHT DIF BETWEEN DIRK AND JOHN. so that doodle you did there in response to the ask just kinda hammered it in lmao. and also daaaaaang. well hey, however long it takes you to put out chapters im gonna be hella excite for each one. :)

dirk isn’t even like, that short. john is just Really Large. he’s in this constant state of crouch through the whole fic just to make eye contact with people

anyway i think there’s only one picture of them in the fic where they’re actually standing up straight next to each other, and it isn’t going to be for a long while. so have a visual aid for all ya’lls perusal

03-Feb-18 9:50:11 PM ¶ ●

## something ive been kind of curious about honestly, does dirk wear like. two blindfolds??? or are the little flappy things underneath the strip something else?

this will make a lot more sense once we get to The Eye Reveal, but it’s just sort of a double folded pad of fabric underneath the blindfold/sleepmask thing he wears. it keeps in the liquid

04-Feb-18 12:59:21 AM ¶ ●

## Hi! If I may ask, what're Jane and Dave's jobs/titles in the Catacombs universe? Also, does Karkat have a job anymore or is Jade his sugarmama at this point?

jane’s the Heir, john makes her do economic/tax management shit because she does that kind of stuff for fun anyway. this is PROBABLY labor exploitation since john did fuck all when he was the Heir but jane seriously hasn’t noticed

dave just bodyguards rose while they con people out of money for Healingz and Future Predictionz. i think it’s vaguely implied in the first two fics that dave is rose’s knight? i know that the first two stories had a big romance surrounding the mage/knight thing, but it is offhandedly mentioned a couple times that the relationship can be platonic.

jade/karkat under the readmore, since it assumes you’ve read the other two fics in the series

jade and karkat are just kickass adventurers at this point… completing quests and defeating evil in a faraway land without the morally gray friend/family politics. sometimes they pop back to Alternia to dick around with eridan for whatever mysterious military scheme he has to be involved with, since he’s obligated to be on feferi’s side during this whole succession thing because ~*~friendship~*~. but yeah, just adventurers. karkat was really bad at being a doctor anyway.

sugamama-wise, jade probably gets a nice allowance from john. although imo they’re probably rolling in scavenged, high value D&D-esque magic artifacts so she’s probably like “stop sending me money!!!!” and john’s just like “:o are you sure? are you getting enough to eat? don’t you need a new pair of boots or something? at least buy karkat that new novel, i want him to read it so bad!”

05-Feb-18 2:29:51 AM ¶ ●

(-‿¬)

Chapter 15 of Vanitas vanitatum is up!

(you can also start at the beginning by clicking here)

side note: this is a GREAT time to reread the AO3 content tags!!!

07-Feb-18 3:17:11 AM ¶ ●

## Gosh chapter 15 of Vanitas Vanitatum (am I spelling that right..?) was amazing!! The whole fic has been super fun to read, and I love the whole catacombs series. Thank you for brightening my day and keeping me on my toes with all these heckin cliffhangers :D

thanks!!! have some dirkjohn smooches

there was initially going to be a ‘dirk messes with johns head with a surprise kiss’ scene but i had to change it around because dirk can’t reach john without an applebees booster seat

(in reference to vanitas vanitatum, and yes, you did indeed spell that right)

08-Feb-18 1:50:05 AM ¶ ●

## First off your fanfic is amazing!!! Secondly I was wondering how you feel about davejadekat?

thanks!!! im an old school davejadekat. one time in 2012 wrote 25% of a longfic epic with davejadekat and then gave up on it and removed it from the internet. anyway have some catacombs!jade cheesecake

08-Feb-18 2:46:00 AM ¶ ●

## Is Jane terrifyingly strong, too?

yeah probably. i picture her being the shortest one of the fam tho so she’s probably like, the weakest just due to size. can still hurl tables at diplomats that piss her off with little to no effort

10-Feb-18 5:34:43 AM ¶ ●

Chapter 16 of Vanitas vanitatum is up!

(you can also start at chapter one here)

13-Feb-18 5:15:24 AM ¶ ●

## jake #9?

#9 - bloody knuckles.

vanitas vanitatum jake needs to learn how to wrap his hands for fisticuffs. or use more moisturizer :(

send me more prompts!!!

14-Feb-18 3:45:36 AM ¶ ●

## vv rose or dirk in #23?

i got like 900 requests for rose. y’all are thirsty for trypophobia. this counts as multiple eyes, right?

send me more prompts!!!

14-Feb-18 8:37:44 AM ¶ ●

## Chapter 17: Sex and Consequences | Vanitas vanitatum

there’s like 200 moving parts in this fic and they’re all starting to come together in a horrible cacophony of weird fantasy political psychological erotic romance drama. coming together as smoothly as a car accident

(start at the beginning here!)

16-Feb-18 4:00:42 AM ¶ ●

## I would die for Dirk to be happy

do you guys have, like, an anguish filled discord or something

i’d draw ya’ll a nice happy dirk but my tablet is dead. i searched the bowels of my computer for any happy dirk sketches and all i have is a teaser sketch for a later scene… if you can parse my scribbles and figure out whats happening in it…….

22-Feb-18 4:20:10 AM ¶ ●

## Vanitas vanitatum, Chapter 19: Empty Head, Empty Heart (Part 1)

(start with chapter 1, here! reminder that this fic is nsfw)

me, in november, when i wrote this chapter: okay this sex scene should just have bare minimum detail. like three paragraphs of sex is enough to get the point across.
me, two weeks ago, at work, bored out of my mind and hellbent on writing dumbass dirkjohn erotica for half my day: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) not enough

26-Feb-18 5:26:40 AM ¶ ●

was this picture really necessary for the story? no. but fuck it. the bottom half of this image is exactly what you expect it to be

Chapter 20 of Vanitas vanitatum is up!

(start at chapter 1 here!)