16-Oct-14 4:55:00 AM ¶ ●

## jadekat always and forever *u*

AU OF MY UNDERWORLD AU (apologies, anon! This is self indulgent and won’t make sense unless you’ve read up to chapter 5)

“I’m so sorry!” she says, putting her hands together like she’s praying for fucking forgiveness. Yeah right. “I just tried to teleport you! I have a really hard time dealing with modern physics! Things were so much simpler back in the day…”

You twirl your butterfly knife threateningly above the picnic table, accidentally hitting yourself in the hand in the process. Fuck, now she knows it’s blunt and that you’re a dumbass with an ineffective butterfly knife. She’s totally going to murder you, isn’t she? Just smother you with her own drugged up shit and send you into screaming oblivion again. You point the knife at her anyway, for kicks and giggles.

“While I know there isn’t any empathy in the cold-blooded heart of a drug-dealer-” she facepalms at that, for some reason. It’s probably because you’re preaching the truth. “-try to look at it from my POV here. One minute, we’re having a nice fucking ride on my Vespa down County Road 3, and the next, I am shooting myself ass backwards through the enormous vacuum of starry space after almost getting hit by a truck. Tell me that would not induce PTSD. Look into my fucking eyes and tell me that your marijuana hallucinogenics deserve nothing but harsh punishment.”

“Marijuana doesn’t give you… ugh, nevermind!” She smacks her hands down on the table. “You are absolutely impossible! I’m going to prove to you once and for all that I am a god who needs your help!”

“What? No. No-nonononononono-” She reaches for your forehead too fast for your slow reflexes. Oh, GOD she’s going to slip you something through her fingertips, isn’t she? Just send you spinning into a salvia filled galaxy of terrible…

When she makes contact, you lose contact. You lose everything. Sense of self, sense of sight, sense of personhood, sense of being Karkat fucking Vantas. You just are.You’ve never been the Zen monk type, the kind of person to let things flow by like shit doesn’t get in the way, but you feel like you could be living on top of a mountain swathed in yellow right now. You feel whole, you feel complete, and for the first time in your pitiful, suddenly meagre life, you feel like an open book.

Jade starts flipping your pages. And it feels good. Like being out on the night sea with the wind at your back. You know it’s Jade because she’s all stars and warmth, shining at the back of your blind eyes. It’s weird, like she’s flooding into you, but you don’t fucking mind at all because it’s like being in a submersion tank filled with sheer euphoria. It feels like whatever she did to you last night, but without all the blood pumping and thrusting. It’s floaty and giddy.

When she lets go of you, the first thing to return to you is a sense of loss, the second is a sense of sight, and the third is the sense of shame as you notice tears are pouring down your fucking face. Fuck you, why do you have to be such an utter pansy sometimes? You cover your eyes with your sweatshirt sleeve.

“So?” says Jade, quietly, like she’s afraid of breaking you. She probably could.

“I, er,” Fuck yourself in the ass, you can barely talk. Pull it together. You want to say, ‘okay, that was totally salvia, wasn’t it?’ but that’s way too many syllables to string together so your dumb ass subconscious decides to spout out “What are you the god of?” instead.

“Open spaces. And friendship. And gardens, sometimes.”

You rub the tears from your eyes. “That’s… so fucking random.”

She hesitates, smiling a little. “You know… you’d be surprised how many people say that.”