01-Mar-15 9:18:49 AM ¶ ●

Cum mortuis in lingua mortua is now finished!

If you’ve got a few hours to kill to read a massive slow burn fantasy Jadekat AU which is essentially a D&D game gone horribly, horribly awry, click here and get transported into a world based on a weird chess-based afterlife and bizarre resurrection rules. Also features: Jade Harley’s huge ass muscles, Karkat’s ineptitude as a fighter class, ridiculous sci-fi/fantasy acronyms and allusions, and really bad dick jokes.

04-Mar-15 6:31:00 AM ¶ ●

shit. lets be necromancers – a fanmix for a fanfic

I made an fst for my huge jadekat fic Cum mortuis in lingua mortua (click on the title if you haven’t read it yet!) because it’s time to celebrate the fact I actually finished the damn thing.

Much like the fic itself, this starts off as a joke, then slowly descends into “just kidding, ha ha, I was 100% serious the whole time.”

Track list/Deleted tracks under the cut.

BOTCH!!! - Midnight Syndicate
oh, fuck, ssskkkkRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE

Through The Fire And The Flames - DragonForce
So now we fly ever free
We’re free before the thunderstorm
On towards the wilderness
Our quest carries on

Adventure - Be Your Own Pet
We are adventuring, we are adventurers
We’ve been to every place anywhere in the world!

Karate - Kennedy
I don’t need no nine mil’ Glock
These hands are deadly guns

Contact High - Architecture in Helsinki
(When we touch I get a)
Contact high
I’m done leaving if we can try
Am I guilty? Boy, you decide
I’ve got nothing to hide

I Touch Myself - Divinyls
*muffled sound of oxfordroulette laughing in background*

Jenny - Studio Killers
I wanna ruin our friendship
We should be lovers instead
I don’t know how to say this
‘cause you’re really my dearest friend

Step - Vampire Weekend
We know the true death, the true way of all flesh
Everyone’s dying, but girl you’re not old yet

Light a Roman Candle With Me - fun.
So often I call and I plead with you:
“Give me a chance!”

High Times - Landon Pigg
Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah
Won’t you lower your sword and your shield?
Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh
I’m gonna show you how submission feels

October, First Account - Be Your Own Pet
Wont you help me out?
Won’t you please help me figure it all out?
We’ve cut ourselves open a hundred times
But we’re not out of ammo yet

Everyone’s a VIP to Someone - The Go! Team
Instrumental

Love Makes You Soft - Artichoke Heart Soufflé
And why I can’t stop smiling, I don’t understand
I try to wipe it off, you grab me by the hand
And everything stops turning, the world it seems alright
I’ll walk you home tonight

And here’s some songs I REALLY THOUGHT HARD ABOUT PUTTING ON THE FST:

Con mortuis in lingua mortua - the song I got the title from. Fun fact: I changed it to “Cum” because it was better Latin and also a semen joke. Unfortunately, this song is the most boring movement of Pictures at an Exhibition and no one wants to listen to it.

The godawful English Slayers Opening - if the Dragonforce didn’t turn you off this certainly would

Rogues Do it from Behind - not even I could rationalize putting this one on here. i just. nepeta. for fucks sake.

Waltz me to the grave - NO ONE LIKES EXPEREMENTAL ELECTROPOP OXFORDROULETTE LET IT GO

08-Mar-15 7:23:26 PM ¶ ●

Day 1 - College

note: since literally nothing can beat the most incredible college au I’ve ever thought of: jade crossdresses in order to go to 16th century university and become the pope, everything past this point will be a severe letdown.

AU where Jade and Karkat are students at St. Andrews in the 1900s.Jade is known as a beautiful, genius immigrant who fights wholeheartedly against the inherent sexism of the time by getting degrees in every science ever, and also invents the field of astrophysics. Karkat is known for being unbelievably Scottish.

They hate each other until fourth year when Karkat gets his head out of his ass and realizes that ‘hey, maybe I like strong independent women who are leagues smarter than me’ and ends up being one of the few people who listen to her and respect her for the entire fourth year. It’s quite the scandal when the student newspaper gets wind of the romantic debacle.

Since this is the 1900s, they get married three months after holding hands once. Jade is like, this cash cow who makes an obscene amount of money and elevates them into 'European elite’ status, while Karkat becomes infamous for his scathing editorials to newspapers about how much he hates England. They live in a big manor in the highlands with a million dogs and have a million babies and parent them all terribly. It was the second best college au ever.

okay and I’d feel lame just posting an au idea so here’s a bad sketch to go with it. features Karkat in an ugly ass sweater:

12-Mar-15 5:48:24 AM ¶ ●

I was going to draw something for jadekat week but then it turned into a sequel teaser for my (finally finished) fic cum mortuis in lingua mortua. whoops.

It shall be called: Jade Harley Appreciation Station Part 2. Karkat Vantas: Dead Yet Again, That Asshole. Catacombæ (Sepulcrum romanum) and it will feature a very dead and very angry Karkat Vantas as your second person guide through this 8-10 chapter fic.