01-Dec-17 12:22:33 AM ¶ ●

i made myself a trollsona cuz that quiz was 2 good. i got vizra. troll oxfordroulette is probably a detective, because irl all i have in my closet is like. 1940s femme fatale wear. missing from this pic: one of my sweet ass derby hats

my strife specibus is brass knuckles kind.

02-Dec-17 8:49:53 PM ¶ ●

who’s ready for an extremely elaborate fantasy au dirkjohn longfic??? you mean no one asked for this??? well that’s too damn bad. you’re all getting it anyway

featuring john as an overpowered monarch who recently took the throne and dirk as a member of his secret police. as per usual, lots of cool fantasy d&d shit, lots of romance, lots of necromancy, lots of dick jokes

this fic is going to run like a soap opera and will include all the tags a soap opera normally includes. murder! mayhem! manic depression! mystery! mischief! manipulation! macbethian contrivances! machiavellian scheming! mmmmm delicious depictions of food!

coming… december, sometime. will post again when the first chapter is up.

12-Dec-17 4:56:53 AM ¶ ●

the first chapter of Vanitas vanitatum is up on AO3! it’s part of my intimidatingly long au-ficverse, but you are welcome to only read this story if the other ones don’t interest you (this one is very different than the other two).

also this is some extra serious promo art but the story is pretty much just going to be dirk having constant heart attacks at the godawful out-of-left-field shit john pulls. click below to read

DIRK. JOHN. POLITICAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL DRAMA. D&D FANTASY AU. PLOT LIKE A CONTRIVED TELENOVELA. FRANKLY: A RATHER BIZARRE ROMANCE. BE THERE

16-Dec-17 8:18:09 AM ¶ ●

IT’S YA GIRL!!!! THE TRITAGONIST!!!!

Chapter 2 of Vanitas vanitatum is up

You can read chapter 1 here

20-Dec-17 4:42:18 AM ¶ ●

i would like everyone to note that dirk is wearing opera length fingerless gloves, a tank top with a popped collar, and the fantasy AU equivalent of sweat pants. he probably thought very hard about that outfit and it was all for naught. because it’s fucking stupid, dirk. it’s fucking stupid

Chapter 3 of Vanitas vanitatum is up!

Or start at Chapter 1

26-Dec-17 7:34:45 AM ¶ ●

merry shitscram, chapter 5 of Vanitas vanitatum is up

(you can also start from the beginning here)

in this episode of Fantasy Johndirk Soap Opera Spectacular, jane tries her hand at intrigue. ay dios mio

29-Dec-17 7:47:02 AM ¶ ●

chapter 6 of vanitas vanitatum is up! have a completely unrelated sketch since there are no pics in this chapter but i don’t want to leave you empty handed

this picture seriously has nothing to do with the chapter, but i just had this GREAT IDEA for a scene like fifteen chapters down the road and sketched it out and want to share it with the world. this scene may or may not happen, i have no idea, i haven’t written it yet. either way, have dirk&john mackin in dank ass fantasy outfits. (note: said fantasy outfits are shitty sketches, use your imagination to make them danker.)

you can also start at chapter 1