no pictures in this chapter, but i did do a little sketch of John
(me to me a la that dark kermit meme: if you take his eye out, you won’t have to struggle with drawing his eyes in an even fucking line for the rest of the story)
so, I know what you’ve been thinking: “GOD, I could REALLY go for some dirkjake porn right now, but I only want them to bone in an ancient cosmological sex dreamscape, and also jake needs to be a malevolent supernatural creature, and I also want the entire fic to look like House of Leaves and have a random visual poetry section in it.” well, my friends, wonder no more at this thought that you have certainly had, because I wrote it. it’s experimental ergodica erotica! right here on AO3.
i think i need release notes for this fic lmao. alright
RELEASE 1.1 DEVELOPER NOTES: -firefox is really really bad at rendering css animations without a dedicated graphics card so if your cpu spikes that’s why. like, fucking edge is better at rendering css animations, it’s crazy. if you’re using firefox on a shit-tier pleb laptop you’re going to want to close out of any process-heavy programs before reading. -this chapter is missing text effects in IE and UC browser (and, as per usual, straight up doesn’t work in Opera Mini). the main “plot” is still readable but you won’t get the extraneous “shower” effect. also please stop using IE and UC browser. love yourselves.
Jade, ruler of Alternia, and whatever the fuck the humans land is called
it’s called Earth because i thought it was funny in 2014 but then i had to stick with it so now i just explicitly refer to the capital city instead. anyway have a ruler jade