Alright so I know you all have been waiting with bated breath for the next chapter of my ULTRA-POPULAR MEGA HIT 2012 fic, Jake English: A Tragic American Blog Post, and am I here to deliver. If you want to continue reading an obtuse Homestuck parody of the worst book ever written: Ethan Frome, chapter 3 is now up. See the fic that has the lowest kudos to hits ratio on my entire profile. See the fic that was recced on the fucking Athenaeum when that was still a thing, for some unknown reason. (seriously, who did that. this, out of all my fics, is the one that shares its existence amongst those hallowed halls).

Anyway give it a read if you’re one of the three people who have both read Ethan Frome and are really excited to see Latula and Jake attempt to skateboard-suicide into a tree.

i mercy killed it and left the publish date in 2012 because that’s when half of chapter three was written. you can thank me, people who subscribe. (unless if it shows up anyway)