People cry 62 different times in Homestuck; 51 of these times are from the players. 17 times were mourning someone’s death.
Of the players:
Johncries a grand total of 6 times over the entire comic (although one of these times was in the Reader’s imagination). 3ofthose times were con air related.
Karkatistied with John for most tears, and possibly comes in first for saddest kid ever, also crying 6 times. 3ofthose were because his friends were dead.
Jakeonlycries 5 times, although 2 ofthose were off panel and only mentioned in the pesterlogs.
Terezicries4 times, one of which is only mentioned in the pesterlog, and may or may not have cried twoother times. (is it blood or tears? both? does it count as once or twice when it’s the same memory but two different dream bubbles? who knows? not me.)
Davecries4times, and none of them are actually because he’s sad.
I saw @polyglotplatypus’s chart for how many times each character says fuck (only characters with more than 20 fucks were used) and wondered, how /frequently/ do they swear? Because obviously characters with higher word counts have more opportunities to say fuck. By dividing OP’s chart and these numbers from https://m.reddit.com/r/homestuck/comments/4ev3gb/final_character_word_count/ I calculated the Percentage of Fuck for each character! Turns out Gamzee says fuck most frequently!
This would hardly be a Homestuck statistics blog if I didn’t count all the deaths, so hold on tight, here we go, starting with the main 22 players:
Each character is treated as their Ultimate Self, so for example, Davesprite dying counts as Dave dying. Deaths from other timelines were not counted unless they was explicitly mentioned or shown, so this list does not include every random ghost we see.
Starting from the top:
Beta Kids:
John:
Killed by Typheus In Davesprite’s timeline (mentioned here, shown here)
Homestuck Deaths Part 3: The One With the Actual Statistics
There are 211 deaths of named characters in Homestuck, plus however many aradiabots and ghosts died.
The only characters who never die in any form are Ms. Paint (Thanks @internmarce, I can’t BELIEVE I forgot her), PM, Serenity, Casey, Bec, GCat (Ambiguous ending for sprites and ghosts notwithstanding), and possibly Squarewave, Sawtooth, Vodka Mutiny, and Li’l Seb. And Jane’s dad, depending on whether you consider him a version of John’s dad or not.
On average, each character dies about 2.37 times.
The main 22 players, however, die an average of 5.18 times each.
if anyone has any requests, please ask because I’m pretty much just tallying up whatever random things I can think of whenever I think of them, which leaves me with not that much of a queue
I don't quite understand the Dubious Death thing on your stats. What does that refer to?
That was referring to the deaths i had listed in part 1 and part 2 as
“may or may not count as a real death.” Like a character’s soul getting
sucked into a juju, or when Dirk was consumed by glitches in the game
over timeline. Plus all of Gamzee’s deaths on account of the whole
“never dies” thing.
40 different things and people are stabbed or sliced 218 times by a Jack, not including however many various carapacians Beta!Jack stabbed during his rampage. 153 of these times were the wall Alpha!Jack used to keep track of how long he was in prison.
Beta!Jack stabs 19 things/people 22 times.
Alpha!Jack stabs 8 things/people 170 times.
Sgrub!Jack stabs 11 things/people 24 times.
Cherub Session Jack stabs 2 different people once each.
Wasn't John also killed by terezi with the jetpack that one time? :0
When I compiled this list, I was only saying who the actual killers were. So that death I had down under “Typheus” as the killer (Well, “other” on the graph). I’m going to do another list at some point that will break that down better, saying how many times each character killed vs. how many deaths they were responsible for, but it’s going to be a bit before I finish that.
