okay so i got requests for this one, and then dropped off the face of the planet because it took me 78 years to finish. So without further ado:
There are 21 confirmed and 52 teased <3 relationships, 6 confirmed and 12 teased <3< relationships, 7 confirmed and 2 teased <> relationships, 4 confirmed and 6 teased o8< relationships, and 6 confirmed and 8 teased relationships that aren’t in one specified quadrant.
Karkat wins the ‘most loveable’ award, having been in relationships with 3 different people (<> with Gamzee, o8< with Jade, unknown with Dave) and been crushed on/flirted with by no less than 7 different people (<3 from Nepeta, Eridan, Cronus, Meenah, Davepetasprite, o8< from Kanaya, and Something with Terezi)
Eridan manages to beat even Cronus for ‘Most desperate’ with 9 unrequited Crushes.
Finally, (Vriska) wins ‘most broken-hearted’ with 6 different relationships that are now over. Vriska only had 4 relationships.
All of these relationships are listed in the long version, here.
*Not in the charts because they weren’t explicitly romantic enough, or were most likely a joke. The ones between players are in the little animation tho
Jade’s letter to John is 443 words long, while Jake’s letter is the reverse, 344 words long.
These letters, combined with Rose’s final GameFAQ entry (238
words), are all the words written or spoken by characters in the pages
between acts 4 and 5. So the total non-narration word count between
the Kid arc and the Troll arc is 1025.
Hey, on that unrequited cruch thing, I think you forgot how eridan had a crush on nepeta and actually asked her out but nepeta ended up refusing!
You’re right, I did! I’m not sure why, I know exactly where he says that, I guess I was just distracted. Thanks for telling me, I changed the list and the charts. Can’t do anything about the animation though.
There are 211 deaths of named characters in Homestuck, plus however many aradiabots and ghosts died.
The only characters who never die in any form are PM, Serenity, Casey, GCat (Ambiguous ending for sprites and ghosts notwithstanding), and possibly Squarewave, Sawtooth, Vodka Mutiny, and Li’l Seb. And Jane’s dad, depending on whether you consider him a version of John’s dad or not.
On average, each character dies about 2.37 times.
The main 22 players, however, die an average of 5.18 times each.
Small correction: All the trolls’ dreamselves died. Shouldn’t those be marked as ‘dream phantom’ deaths in the deaths by character list?
actually no, because ‘dream phantom’ was the term I was using for when a living person died while dreaming in a dream bubble. I only singled those deaths out because I was pretty on the fence over whether dying in a dream even counted as actual death, even if that dream DID take place in a physical location. Dreamselves are actual flesh and blood people who die and leave a corpse behind, so I just counted them as regular old deaths.
just a heads up that I’ve got some life stuff going on right now and all my current requests are for extremely long term stuff like “how many panels does each character appear in” so things might be a little slow for a while. but if anyone has any requests that don’t include every single character, I’d be happy to do a few of those to fill the void.
Spoilers: The one who speaks the most in act 1 is John. It’s John. Shocking, I know. But here’s some statistics anyway:
There are 3258 words spoken/written by characters in Act 1, spread
between 28 pesterlogs, 1 Serious Business Conversation, and 1 note from
Dad (plus 13 words from repeated pesterlogs).
The average pesterlog length is only 113 words, with the
longest at 516 words and the shortest at 2 words.
The most developed relationship is John and Rose, with 23 pesterlogs and 1734 words between the two of them.
The least developed relationship is John and Jade, with only 2 pesterlogs and 139.
The most unbalanced relationship is John and Dave, with Dave talking almost twice as much (1.9) as John.
The most balanced relationship is John and Jade with John talking only ~7% more than Jade.
Graphs and breakdown under the cut!
Note: a conversation (as opposed to a pesterlog) lasts until at least one of the participants signs out of pesterchum.
John says, on average, ~43% less than his friends during conversation. Rose says ~75% more than John during conversation. Dave says ~90% more than John during conversation. Jade says ~7% less than John during conversation.
John says 1143 words total. He averages 45.7 words per pesterlog across 25 pesterlogs and 163.3 per conversation across 7 conversations.
John ->Rose: John says 630 words total, averaging 33.2 words per
pesterlog across 19 pesterlogs and 210 words per conversation across 3
conversations.
John’s minimum (greater than 0) contribution to a pesterlog with Rose was 2 words, and his maximum was 89.
John’s minimum contribution to a conversation with Rose was 46 and his maximum was 509.
John ->Dave: John says 441 words total, averaging at 88.2 words per pesterlog across 5 pesterlogs and 147 per conversation across 3 conversations.
John’s minimum contribution to a pesterlog with Dave was 21 words, and his maximum was 131.
John’s minimum contribution to a conversation with Dave was 81 and his maximum was 229.
John ->Jade: John says 72 words total, in only 1 pesterlog.
Rose says 1104 words total, all to John. She averages 50.2 words per pesterlog across 22 pesterlogs and 368 per conversation across 3 conversations.
Rose’s minimum contribution to a pesterlog with John was 1 word, and her maximum was 157.
Rose’s minimum contribution to a conversation with John was 74 words, and her maximum was 949.
Dave says 839 words total, also all to John. He averages 1677.8 per pesterlog across 5 pesterlogs and 279.7 per conversation across 3 conversations.
Dave’s minimum contribution to a pesterlog with John was 23 words, and his maximum was 259.
Dave’s minimum contribution to a conversation with John was 235 words, and his maximum was 345.
Jade says 67 words still to John (crazy, I know). She averages 33.5 words per pesterlog/conversation across 2 pesterlogs/conversations.
Jade’s minimum contribution to a pesterlog with John was 15 word, and her maximum was 52.
Dad writes 9 words to John in a note.
grayslacks66 says 58 words in the Serious Business Conversation.
wellPressedAttire says 30 words in the Serious Business Conversation.
officeurchin1280 says 4 words in the Serious Business Conversation.
2busy4this says 4 words in the Serious Business Conversation.
