A Whole Bunch o’ Crying Kids
Here’s some facts no one asked for or wanted:
People cry 62 different times in Homestuck; 51 of these times are from the players. 17 times were mourning someone’s death.
Of the players:
John cries a grand total of 6 times over the entire comic (although one of these times was in the Reader’s imagination). 3 of those times were con air related.
Karkat is tied with John for most tears, and possibly comes in first for saddest kid ever, also crying 6 times. 3 of those were because his friends were dead.
Jake only cries 5 times, although 2 of those were off panel and only mentioned in the pesterlogs.
Kanaya cries twice for real and three times insincerely.
Terezi cries 4 times, one of which is only mentioned in the pesterlog, and may or may not have cried two other times. (is it blood or tears? both? does it count as once or twice when it’s the same memory but two different dream bubbles? who knows? not me.)
Dave cries 4 times, and none of them are actually because he’s sad.
Roxy cries 3 times, one of which is only mentioned in the narration.
Jade cries once as her waking self and once (possibly twice) as Jadesprite.
Tavros, Rose, Sollux, (Vriska), and Gamzee cry only once.
Dirk only cries once, and only in scribble mode.
Eridan never cries, but his eyes water once in Alterniabound and 3 separate times in Reterniabound.
Caliborn is SAID to have cried twice by the narration, although neither of them seem likely.
As for the non players:
The Reader cries 3 times at the majesty of Homestuck.
Hussie cries once on-panel and once off-panel.
Grandpa Harley, PM, ARquiusprite, and Ms. Paint each cry once.
Several Prospitains cry at Jake’s funural.
And finally, Hussie and Rose apparently use the tears of one thousand Imaginary Magicians and Imaginary Occultists, respectively.
I’m not really sure why anyone would want this information, but here it is for all your sadstuck needs.