Pretty Much Every Canon Troll Term Ever
Biological Traits and Terms
Auricular sponge clots – Ears! Or rather, I suppose it’d be the internal structure of the ear, the external structure being composed pretty much entirely of cartilage and not being very relevant to much of anything unless you want to grab someone and haul them around by it.
Bone bulge – Apparently somehow related to reproduction? May or may not be gender specific. Unlikely to be, seeing as the gender binary is basically meaningless in Trolls.
Cartilage nub – This is pretty unclear, actually. At first, I thought it was a nose, but that may not be correct. The term “nub” itself can take the place of many terms in Troll dialects, such as “[something] I’ve been meaning to get off my nub for a while now” (chest) and “take that chip off your nub and tell me what’s the matter” (shoulder), but it’s also been used derogatorily–i.e. nubslurping, which appears to be the Troll equivalent of “cocksucking.” I have a theory about what a cartilage nub is, but it’s pretty rude, so…
Chitinous windtube – Exactly what it sounds like. It seems like trolls have a chitinous lining to their windpipe–and possibly the inside of the throat and mouth, which pretty much would have to be shed periodically as they grew. It’d probably have to slough off in layers or pieces, which they either spit/cough up or swallow or both.
Collapsing and expanding bladder based aquatic vascular system – Exclusive to aquatic trolls. Used in place of referring to Feferi’s heart. So yeah, basically the heart of an aquatic troll.
Hemospectrum– Handled for me.
Hoof– Foot. They are not actually hooved. Trolls, like humans, tend to use a lot of different words to mean the same thing. This is one of them.
Nook– …as in “up to your nook in” something, or something which “really gets stuck in your nook.”
Protein chute – What it sounds like. Basically the esophagus.
Seed flap – Move along, nothing to see here.
Sniffnode– Yet another word for nose.
Spinal crevice – The ass, to put it bluntly. Not an asshole, just the ass and/or specifically the ass crack. Basically the consequence of being bipedal and having legs situated at the end of the spinal column. Wow, you can tell I’m tired now.
Sponge– Brain/mind. Being out of your fucking sponge, as a result, means being out of your fucking mind.
Thinkpan– Another term for the brain. Emblazoned on your think pan, etc.
Other Termology of Use
12th Perigee’s Eve – A troll holiday. The only known detail about it is a festive ritual in which the troll’s lusus drags home a fresh behemoth leaving, and the troll and lusus decorate it together.
Ablution trap – A bath tub, to use the vernacular of the blue bloods. Most trolls use this term.
Beefgrub – At one point, Vriska gets a “huge 8eefgrub lodged in [her] nook just thinking about [Tavros].” A troll food-item?
Beetles– A Troll currency. No, seriously, they have imperial beetle coffers, which are serious business. However, they also have coins? Troll Caegars, actually. This subject is really confusing and inconsistent. Moving on.
Corpse box – Presumed to mean a coffin. HOWEVER, and I quote, “trolls don’t typically bury their dead. Leaving bodies to be consumed by wild animals is more customary.” Burial DOES happen, very rarely (Aradia ‘left so abruptly, [she] didn’t even have time to bury [her] lusus’), but… it is so rare as to be markedly unusual. Death is so common to trolls that it’s not really noteworthy, making the bigger mystery why burial happens at all rather than why they practically never bother with it. Possibly corpse boxes are for trolls in metropolitan areas, where wild animals are not exactly a troll caegar a dozen. If so, however, it may be simply for transport of the corpse(s?) to a more convenient area. (Mass graves???) Or it could be that highbloods get burials and lowbloods get left to rot.
Cotton Candy – A sweet troll delicacy you’ve probably never heard of.
Culling– Apparently a pretty regular thing, despite the fact that it’s literally killing undesireable or unsatisfactory trolls and removing them from the populace. You can be culled, for example, if you fail to have filled the twin pails when the Imperial Drone comes knocking. Or for any number of things. It frees up a lawn ring, though.
On Beforus, culling had a very different meaning: it meant being taken in by a Troll of a higher blood caste and being coddled mercilessly. Still something to avoid, at least if you desire any form of autonomy or respect for the rest of your life, but at least you’re still alive, I guess.
Dross Coffer – A trash can. These are picked up by waste drones and emptied. Handy!
Enclosure Talons – Quotation marks.
Exoskeleton– Used in place of skeletons sometimes; reflective of the insectoid nature of troll biology. For example, the exoskeleton of my argument would be the backbone of it.
Faygo– A brand of Troll soda, sold in bottles. Plays a significant role in Gamzee’s religion/philosophy/diet. We’ve seen several flavours so far, including Grape and Red Cherry. (For those unaware, Faygo is an actual brand of pop that can be found in the midwestern United States, and has about a thousand goddamn flavours. The author of this glossary prefers 60/40, but it has yet to appear in MSPA, which makes him sad. The fact that it is found on both Alternia and Earth is a source of some confusion/ speculation by the characters in canon.)
Filial Pail– … no comment. Pails and buckets are really, really uh… scandalous and rude. Let’s put it like that.
Frond nub – “Braying up the wrong frond nub” is the troll equivalent of “barking up the wrong tree.”
Getting [your] horns handed to you – Getting trolled, basically. You got served. Or however that’s supposed to go.
Grubloaf– A troll food, which is apparently capable of being freshly leavened. You put mucus on it. Sweet, tangy mucus. Saying something is just mucus on the grubloaf is the troll equivalent of saying something is just icing on the cake. Trolls sure are weird!
Hivestem– The troll equivalent of an apartment building. Tall.
Hoofbeast– Troll equivalent of a horse. Or, at the very least, used as a replacement for the concept in dialogue–for examle, calling someone a one- or two-trick hoofbeast instead of a one trick pony (two added mostly because Sollux was saying it to begin with), or telling someone to get off their high hoofbeast.
Husktop– The troll equivalent of a laptop. Apparently either actually grown, much as they do their games (which come in the form of variously-coloured, living grubs), or else made out of some sort of organic husk of something. This term is not to be used for regular, more stationary forms of computing devices.
Kraft grubsauce – Apparently, shit can be more real than this. Presumably a troll condiment. Guess what’s in it. NEW: It is apparent the same colour as Kanaya’s blood: very very green. Given what it’s possibly made of, however, I’d be willing to speculate that it might be found in any colour on the hemospectrum. Food for thought. (Ha ha.)
Lawn Ring – Basically the space around a young Troll’s hive, which is grassy or at least green, and is in fact in the shape of a circle. There’s actually a white outline to show where the boundary of the lawn ring is. Must be kept watered, on pain of culling.
Load gaper– A toilet. The term 'load gaper’ is common vernacular, eschewed by trolls of a more sophisticated blood colour.
Mind honey – YOU DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EAT THE MIND HONEY. Mind honey, which is produced by purple bees (and a by-product of apiculture networking, harvested out of the silicomb), is a powerful substance that apparently augments psychic abilities. It appears to do so in dramatic fashion, sometimes with… explosive results.
Musclebeast– A sort of creature endemic to Alternia, which–as the name suggests–is grotesquely muscled. Often used to replace the term “bull” in various oaths, but not necessarily bovine in nature at all.
Nut creature – The human word is 'squirrel.'
Nutrition plateau – A plate.
Rainbow drinker – Troll culture’s equivalent of a vampire. Rainbow drinkers–named for the deeply multicoloured wells of blood from which they obtain nourishment, sleep at night and walk out in the sunlight ('daywalkers’), and are generally considered to be mysterious and romantic and terrifying. Also, they glow. Like fucking lightbulbs.
Recuperacoon– A cocoon-like structure filled with sopor slime. Basically a Troll bed. “Every young troll enjoys the cozy embrace of such a vessel each night, and the relaxing ooze helps assuage the terrible visions of blood and carnage that plague the dark subconscious of your species.” The appearances of these purple pods vary.
Respiteblock– The Troll word for “bedroom.” By extension, any kind of room is generally referred to as a 'block.’
Shout pole – ! (An exclamation point.)
Sopor slime – The brilliant green ooze that fills a recuperacoon. Sleeping in sopor slime makes sleeping easier for Trolls, whose subconsciouses are plagued by “terrible visions of blood and carnage.” This is a species trait. Not for eating. (It does funny things to a Troll’s head.)
Surprise noodle – ? (A question mark.)
Sweep/Solar Sweep – A single passage of Alternia around its blistering sun. One Alternian sweep is equivalent to a little more than one Earth year.
Thermal hull – More sophisticated Trolls who are higher on the hemospectrum call this a refrigerator.
Weakslime– Weaksauce.
Wiggler– A very young troll, basically. More precisely, refers to the age before pupation. I.E. a troll that’s still a grub. Also a derogatory or demeaning term, when applied to a troll older than that.
Wriggling Day – The Troll equivalent of a birthday.
Whirling device – A fan.
Trivia and Misc.
Trolls can usually regenerate any teeth that have been lost or broken. This does not, however, extend to horns.
Alternian paint sets are manufactured with the pigment from the blood of culled wigglers.
Most trolls think fashion is stupid, and thus wear the same thing every day. They change their clothes, but all their clothes are the same. Kanaya is a notable exception to this rule. Vriska herself seems to bend this rule, applying not only blood-blue lipstick but also donning a snazzy coat… and advising John on his choices in fashion.
List of foods/flavours mentioned so far: (lusus) milk, tea, (soft summer) peaches, mustard, lemon, orange, cherry cough syrup, grape jelly, licorice, kiwi, blueberry bubblegum, chocolate (and fudge), marshmallow, creamsicles, cotton candy, appleberry blast. Also: Tab (the really gross sugary energy drink), Fruit Troll-ups (fruit roll-ups, Alternian style), and pie. S'mores and graham crackers were both recognisable to dead!Tavros.
–Pulled directly, 100% word-for-word from this excellent homestuck resource page.
How to Write Calliope
I hope you’re doing well today! Seems like you want to know a bit about writing dear, sweet Calliope, yeah? Well, let’s see what I can do to help you out! This little cherub’s quite the interesting character, so let’s take this one step at a time:
- Calliope’s Personality
- How Calliope Speaks
- Three “How to Write a British Accent” Resources
She’s still a major player in recent canon events, but I’ll try to make this as relevant as possible! Happy reading!
Calliope’s Personality
In the comic, our first impressions of Calliope are of a friendly, chipper young troll. Even after we learn that she is not, in fact, from Alternia, she remains the absolute antithesis of her brother, Caliborn–in a sense, she is the embodiment of naivety, innocence, and wishful thinking.
In Aranea’s long-winded description of the cherub race, she mentions that, oftentimes, one of the two cherub personalities lives out most of his or her life without realizing that he or she will, inevitably, die. We can safely say that this was Calliope between she and her brother–she honestly believed, right up until very close to the end of her life, that she and Caliborn would be able to live together in harmony. In this way, she has one key thing that most of the other Homestuck characters lack: hope.
Jake and the Amporas aside (I’m lumping them in the same lacking-hope category, as well, despite their aspects), Calliope is one of the only characters who remains pretty consistently optimistic throughout most of her appearances in the comic, with the exception of a few recent events. This is an important thing to note, because this adds another, deeper layer to her character–she’s not just “cheery”, she’s genuinely hopeful about pretty much everything.
Now, before you shake your head at me and say “well, duh,” I want to point out that her hope is largely due in part to the fact that she is fundamentally naive. Like I said, one personality–oftentimes the weaker of the two–does not realize that both will survive maturation until much later on in life. Because Caliborn essentially cheated by killing Calliope’s dream self in order to prematurely predominate of their body, Calliope wasn’t able to come to realize that particular fact until it was too late and she had no chance of winning against her brother. So, though she is genuinely hopeful, Calliope is just as genuinely naive.
This naivety carries across the board to many aspects of her personality, actually. I would say it is, in a sense, one of her most defining features. While she is very knowledgeable about the mechanics of the Alpha kids’ session, she does not understand human culture as a whole.
By watching their adventure from a detached, third-person perspective, Calliope sees the Alpha kids more as characters than people.
Which brings me to another very important, often-overlooked aspect of Calliope’s personality: she is unintentionally arrogant.
Though she does admit that she doesn’t know as much about human culture as she would like (or humans in general, really, because she gave her juju to Jane in an effort to cheer her up, not realizing that “Trickster Mode” would hurt the Alphas rather than help them), she’s quick to talk in riddles (per cherub habit) and explains only enough to be mildly frustrating to the kids with the information she does withhold.
She’s also quick to point out the differences in the two cultures, not really bothering to explain much about herself (I reference here also the fact that no one knew her species or name until much later on, as we’re given the impression she and Caliborn have been talking to the Alphas just as long as the trolls were in contact with the Betas), but she expects the humans to tell her all about their own lives, etc. at the drop of a hat.
When she interacts with the kids, there is a slight disconnect–like they are never really on the same page about much of anything. She hero-worships the humans just as much as she is fascinated with them, and, in her efforts to learn more about the species she often comes off as a bit aggressive.
It’s a bit hard to explain, but, when thinking about how Calliope interacts with the kids, keep in mind that she read stories about them long before she ever tried to contact them–and she’s never met any of them (with the notable exception of both Roxy and Jade, much, much later on after her death) in person. I would consider Calliope’s approach to the kids comparable to fans waiting in line to meet a celebrity. She’s perpetually on her best behavior, but she can’t keep that little bit of “rabid fangirl” from peeking through. She wants to impress her heroes, and she wants to help them as much as possible–but she doesn’t always know how, exactly, to go about doing so.
And, like any good fangirl, she’s got a particular interest in romance.
Although this is due largely in part to the fact that cherubs are only capable of harboring black romantic affections, it’s stated more than once that Callope writes some rather… steamy fanfiction involving her trollsona and the characters of her stories–that is, the Betas (troll and human) and Alphas–focused largely on red and pale romances. Let’s pause for a moment and consider the implications of that.
(I’ve often wondered, myself, who sweet, innocent Callie was paired up with in those fics, but that’s another topic for some other essay.)
Where was I? Oh, yes–Calliope and her awkward, unintentional arrogance.
Now, I want to reiterate that it's unintentional. The doesn’t try to be haughty or frustrating–she just sort of comes off that way because of the big culture difference. She tries hard to do things properly by the basic direction of human etiquette, and is even pretty humble about her knowledge of the Alphas’ session. You wouldn’t want to give your hero the impression you think you’re better than them, would you? No–and that’s pretty much how Calliope feels in relationship to the humans (and, I’m assuming, the trolls, too–though she ever got the chance to interact with any of them other than Gamzee).
That being said, while Calliope is generally very sweet, she does get flustered pretty easily–and, when she does, she can lash out. It’s not particularly violent or rude (Jane even mentions that she can’t tell Calliope is upset at one point), but the difference is there.
Because she’s still interacting with her heroes, though, she keeps her temper relatively in check. But when Caliborn comes into the mix, she’s even feistier. Because she and Caliborn are each other’s antithesis, this is to be expected–but it’s a nice reminder that Calliope isn’t super bubbly-happy-cheery all of the time! In fact, I might even go so far as to crown our little cherub Queen of Sass, or maybe the Duchess of Sarcasm. It’s brilliant.
And my personal favorite:
She’s also pretty sassy to the reader, as well. This girl knows she’s classy as shit with her snazzy weapon of choice, and she makes sure we’re aware of that.
Despite her fangirly assertiveness and tendency to be a bit passive aggressive, though, Calliope is, as I mentioned before, just a naive little girl. And naive little girls get scared and insecure. It’s no secret that she’s embarrassed about her appearance–and that she wishes she had been born a troll–so I’m going to skip over that, but in some of the more recent updates we’re also shown that she’s also a bit of a coward. And that’s not a bad thing! I repeat: cowardice isn’t a bad quality. For some reason, it has a negative connotation, but, in general, there are reckless people and those with self-preservation. Brave people and cowardly people. That’s just how the world works–one couldn’t exist without the other.
And Calliope has every right to be scared, because Lord Motherfuckin’ English, AKA her brother is out to wipe every trace of her very existence from the essence of time and space itself. Holy shit–I would be terrified, too. But keep in mind that this–her cowardice–also extends to other things, as well. She avoids confrontation, she’s generally afraid to offend people (although, like I said, this could also be due in part to her hero-worship of the Alphas), and she’s terrified of rejection.
When she realizes she is going to die, Calliope is rather calm about the whole thing, because she knows that she’ll still have a life in the dream bubbles. Disappointed that she couldn’t play the game and meet her friends? Yeah, of course! But the level of emotion she shows when talking with Roxy about it is nowhere near the level of distress she exhibits when Rose creeps into her super-secret dream bubble hideout:
She’s not afraid of death, but she’s afraid of not existing. So don’t go twisting her insecurities into some kind of internalized, under-wraps depression. I’ve seen it done. Calliope has more dimension than just the insecurities she has about her appearance–because she doesn’t hate herself. She hates her situation and the cards she’s been dealt in life, but she generally accepts the fact that she is the way she is, and it’s just something she has to work around.
By the time Jade comes around five billion panels later, though, Calliope is nearly ready to give up. Without the company and reassurance of Rozy and the others, her insecurity has been eating at her in the darkness for however long (we’re told that time flows differently in the dream bubbles, so we really don’t know how long Calliope was by herself between Roxy and Jade’s visits), and she’s even more scared than before. She knows she can only avoid her brother for so long, but, as always, she’s also lonely.
Although cherubs are naturally solitary creatures, it’s mentioned that Calliope is something of an anomaly because of her desire for companionship. This could also be another reason she is a bit socially inept–she has pretty much never interacted with anyone ever, and only has her stories as reference points for how two creatures are supposed to communicate acceptably.
I want to end this overview of her personality on a positive note, though, so let’s do some bulleted recap just in case you just skimmed this wordy ramble:
TL;DR:
- Calliope is a sweetie, but she's extremely naive.
- She can come off as a bit arrogant.
- She can also be pretty aggressive (especially when it comes to learning about her heroes).
- She’s super sassy when she wants to be, and gets flustered easily.
- All in all, though, Calliope has a big heart and tries to do her best to keep her friends happy; she just wants to be accepted.
How Calliope Speaks
We’ll start with the most obvious thing about this cutie’s speech: her quirk. Yes, her quirk! Grammatically, Calliope speaks with perfect punctuation and syntax, but no capitalization with only two notable exceptions: the letter “u”, and whole words when she’s frustrated. Every so often, she’ll multiply her punctuation by eleven (when she’s particularly flustered), and will occasionally use asterisks for *emphasis*. She uses pet names like “lovely”, “dear”, and “darling” without regard for gender.
Also, here’s a complete list (I think) of all the smiley faces Calliope uses:
- u3u
- :u / :U / :u~
- ~_u
- ^u^ / ^U^
- u~u
- upu
- u_u / u_u;
As for word usage, she generally types with a British “accent”, but will only use the UK spellings of words when it involves the addition of an extra “u”. (ex. she uses “colour” and “armour”, British spellings, but also “practice” and “maneuver”, which are American spellings.)
Her speech tends to be very wordy, lengthy, lofty (another reason she comes off as a bit arrogant, according to Jake at one point), and somewhat confusing. As I mentioned before, cherubs are naturally inclined to speak in riddles, but Calliope is an anomaly on more than one account! She tries her best to keep things simple for the humans, but that doesn’t stop her from talking like a university literature professor. Don’t be afraid to break out some SAT vocabulary when writing Calliope!
(Even I had to go look up “progenitoriety”. Fun fact: it’s not a real word in the English language. But dang, it sure sounds smart!)
Other than that, though, translating Calliope’s Pesterlogs into prose dialogue shouldn’t be much of a problem. I’ll spare you my usual “only use typing quirks for chatlogs, and use correct grammar in prose dialogue” rant, because I’m sure you’re sick of it by now. Huzzah!
Three “How to Write a British Accent” Resources:
- Here’s a pretty handy list of British slang words!
- This is another cool list of British idioms and sayings!
- Here is an essay that picks apart the finer points of British speech patterns!
So… that’s about it! I hope this helps, friends! That’s enough rambling from me, then…
Happy writing!