i wanna talk about potterstuck now okay here’s my Headcanons

• john and jade and gryffindors (hufflepuff is good for john too but i lean towards gryff because i see them as being the type to leap into action immediately without thinking and that’s… pretty John)
  
• rose is the most slytherin to every slytherin with the exception of Dirk who is dave’s older brother 
• when dave is first sorted he wants to be in slytherin because he still hero worships dirk at that point but the hat is basically like “L M A O NO” and he’s a hufflepuff… it’s cute okay
• Roxy is a hufflepuff, Jane is a slytherin (she is the heiress to a global brand okay she’s very ambitious don’t fight me on this. Ravenclaw is good for her too) Jake is a gryffindor BUT he’s kind of like a reverse Neville, he is very much into Bravery and Adventure and Exploring!!!! at first but he starts to lose confidence and question that hat sorting him…
• Roxy has an invisibility cloak! The Lalondes are purebloods from way back
• Dirk and Dave are raised in the muggle world (possibly in the foster system, i haven’t worked it out) so they are Assumed to be muggleborns (so dirk has some issues with this when he’s sorted slytherin) but since both of them are wizards it stands to reason they have magical ancestry (dave and rose find out they are related through Pureblood Shenanigans) 
• john is a seeker and jade is a beater on the gryffindor team, dave and rose are fucking terrible at sports
• dirk is the undefeated wizard chess champion 
• jane committed many weasley-esque pranks in her years but unlike the weasleys she never left a fucking trace, it was only vaguely suspected that she was the true culprit. she was head girl, and dirk was the worst prefect ever
• rose regularly uses roxy’s old invisibility cloak to sneak into the restricted section and read about fucked up dark magic because she is a problem child