Dear fandom: This is Dave.
this is the stupidest thing ive ever seen
no this is actually the stupidest thing ive ever fucking seen im going to break it down for you:
- nobody actually thinks dave canonically has a crush on his brother. if he did/if they do, it actually isnt that far of a stretch to assume that his admiration, when conflicted with how bro isn’t actually all that amazing, manifested into something mistakable for romantic love. incest does happen in the real world and there are psychological reasons for it. if someone wants to explore that in roleplay, shut the fuck up.
- dave is made uncomfortable by his brother because of his business exploits and affinity for puppets which!!! hate to break this to you!!! but that is a form of sexual abuse because Bro is Dave’s legal guardian and Dave is a minor!! ~*not all types of abuse are violent*~
- are you really gonna whine about people aging someone up for a roleplay. really. really????? come on.
- don’t even fucking get me started on these “”“acceptable race headcanons”“” theyre so racist i dont even know where to begin. acceptable race headcanon: dark skin with all white features because ew black people hair SCARES ME!!!!! sit the fuck down. no one headcanons dave with green skin youre being so racist. leave.
- LMAO HOW IS DAVE NOT SUBMISSIVE?? YOU TELL HIM TO SHUT UP AND HIS ANSWER IS “ok” THAT IS LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF SUBMISSIVE. go read dave’s logs again. go on. i’ll wait.
- you’re right sitting next to your brother’s dead body and watching your sister descend into alocoholism and getting cheated on by your girlfriend are totally things that could NEVER make a guy depressed. you’re right. ur so right. depression is a gross disease for fucking weirdos, right?????? lmao.
- who cares if someone wants to call dave gay for their roleplay literally who actually cares. “”HE HAS CANON CRUHSSUESH ON GIRLS?/?” LOTS OF GAY GUYS HAD CRUSHES ON GIRLS GROWING UP???? ITS CALLED BEING RAISED IN A WORLD OF HETERONORMATIVITY? be quiet.
- dave’s kinda shy i mean jesus he mumbles to himself 90% of his life.
- again, boo fucking hoo, people want to roleplay ships GOD grow UP i can’t believe this.
- “DAVE IS NOT QUIET” ARE YOU SERIOUS? HE SAT BY THE COFFEE MACHINE AND MUMBLED TO HIMSELF INSTEAD OF CARRYING ON A CONVERSATION WITH ROSE AND KANAYA. GO READ DAVE AGAIN.
- “waaaah dont roleplay him with original characters hes TOO GOOD FOR THAT and ALL OCS are MARY SUE TRASH because ON TOP OF BEING RACIST AND ABLEIST I’M PROBABLY REALLY FUCKING SEXIST”
- “waaaah don’t ship things i don’t like even though dave and karkat have developed a close relationship that has plenty of potential to escalate further I DONT LIKE PEOPLE ROLEPLAYING THAT because I PERSONALLY DON’T LIKE IT”
- “DAVE LOVES JADE CANONONNCIA SO THATS THE ONLY!!! SHIP!!!! YOURE ALLOWED!!! TO ROLEPLAY!!!!!!!” CITATION NEEDED dave hasn’t been shown to canonically love ANYONE except WOAH???? TEREZI?!?!??!?!?!
- “DAVE ISNT IN A RELATIONSHPI!” really. reaaaaaally. really?? we aren’t allowed to roleplay relatoinships now?????? hey are u a traffic cop? bc ur doing more policing then youve been invited to do
- finally: shut up you fucking racist
This is a much better takedown of this absurd post that includes everything about it, not just the pointless fucking ship comment, and includes my previously-unmentioned anger about the incredibly racist “MY HEADCANON DAVE IS GREEN LOL”