Hawks in about 3 weeks’ time, on the run from a murderous mob of extremists with an unconscious toasted Dabi over one shoulder and a huge duffle bag likely containing Schrödinger’s Jeans in another, encountering Gigantomachia from the front: *record scratch* *freeze frame* Yup, that’s me. You are probably wondering how I ended up in this situation,
cats think they can get away with anything if they just meow pathetically and blink their huge dumb baby eyes and they’re right. my cat could rip my throat out while i slept and i’d still try to call him my sweet baby bastard and pet his soft furry tummy as i exsanguinated on the carpet.
for real though, last year my cat bit me in the face (apparently she got annoyed that I stopped petting her (?) and my face was the closest thing for her to reach) and actually tore my eyelid open, and being squeamish I passed out after telling my parents about it. While I was coming to I heard my mom saying that we had to get rid of my cat and I swear to god nothing woke me up faster and I started mumbling about how my cat was a baby and it was an accident and she was just dumb and didn’t know better and that there was no way we could get rid of her
After a 3am ER trip, getting my eyelid literally stitched back together, and one department of health and public safety mandated rabies shot (for my cat) later, we still have my sharp dumbass baby
Hawks: Bad news: Toga locked the keys inside the building.
Hawks: Good news: we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
Hawks: Bad news: Toga finds it very intriguing that I know how to pick locks and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrased to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress hot guys.
Hawks: Good news: a hot guy saw me do it.
Hawks: Bad news: it was Dabi, and since he’s already seen me crash into several glass doors, cry because I saw a chick that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, he’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. He knows.
