cats think they can get away with anything if they just meow pathetically and blink their huge dumb baby eyes and they’re right. my cat could rip my throat out while i slept and i’d still try to call him my sweet baby bastard and pet his soft furry tummy as i exsanguinated on the carpet.
for real though, last year my cat bit me in the face (apparently she got annoyed that I stopped petting her (?) and my face was the closest thing for her to reach) and actually tore my eyelid open, and being squeamish I passed out after telling my parents about it. While I was coming to I heard my mom saying that we had to get rid of my cat and I swear to god nothing woke me up faster and I started mumbling about how my cat was a baby and it was an accident and she was just dumb and didn’t know better and that there was no way we could get rid of her
After a 3am ER trip, getting my eyelid literally stitched back together, and one department of health and public safety mandated rabies shot (for my cat) later, we still have my sharp dumbass baby