## Preface

Smells Like Teen Spirit
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/23324200.

Rating:
  Explicit
Archive Warning:
  Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category:
  M/M
Fandom:
  僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Relationship:
  Takami Keigo | Hawks/Todoroki Enji | Endeavor
Characters:
  Takami Keigo | Hawks, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Kamihara Shinya | Edgeshot
Additional Tags:
  Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, POV Takami Keigo | Hawks, Drinking, Past Hawks/Edgeshot, Teen Endeavor, De-Aged Endeavor, Quirk Accident (My Hero Academia), Temporary Amnesia, Shameless Smut, Porn with Feelings, Don't copy to another site, Light Bondage, Drunk Sex, Nightmares, Angst, Rimming, Deep Throating, Mention of forced marriage, preening
Language:
  English
Series:
  Part 3 of Come as You Are
Stats:
  Published: 2020-03-26 Completed: 2020-07-20 Words: 27,392 Chapters: 3/3

# Smells Like Teen Spirit

by specterpeach

Summary

> After their last botched encounter, Hawks avoids all of Endeavor’s attempts at communication. It works up until an important corporate event comes right to Hawks’s hometown. Endeavor gets caught up in a local gang fight on the way there and is hit by a quirk that regresses him back into youth. Hawks puts himself in a difficult position to avoid a media scandal and take care of his idol. He strives to cope with the unique situation and the force of nature that is young Endeavor.

## Chapter 1

Chapter Notes

> More quirk related shenanigans for these guys~ I figure this particular trope has likely been done a lot in the fandom but I couldn't help myself. All the art of young Endeavor has been fueling me~

> Even though they say they can't pinpoint his exact age, Endeavor's about 19 here. Hawks is trying his absolute best to behave himself but we all know how that eventually goes. The past mentions of Hawks and Edgeshot don't go into much detail.

> I'll update the tags next chapter if needed!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The world looked significantly duller after the infamous promotional weekend. Fueled by a hangover and regret, Hawks had fled the resort like it was on fire, as if that would somehow fix everything that had gone wrong. He shouldn’t have gotten so drunk, but what else could’ve smothered the hollow feeling growing in his chest?

His fling with Endeavor was over. It felt like it had barely started and now it was over.

Hawks tried rationalizing it any and every way he could, desperately trying to lift his spirits. He told himself he was lucky it happened at all, that it was better not to get involved with someone he’d idolized for as long as he could remember, that he had no future with a married man, that he didn’t have time for relationships anyway. None of them made him feel better and he couldn’t forget it was something he had said that triggered the argument. The argument that led to Endeavor calling everything off.

Looking back on it, Hawks really should have expected that outcome eventually, but he’d been riding the high of an impossibly distant fantasy, one so outrageous he hadn’t truly dared entertaining it throughout his life. Simply getting to team up with Endeavor had been enough of a dream come true, and texting him was like the icing on the cake. Now he was the one ignoring Endeavor’s texts and calls.

That part was particularly difficult and he felt his resolve waning over the next few weeks. Work kept him fairly distracted, but the nights were hard. Endeavor had only called a handful of times, but the texts were more numerous though still sporadic. Hawks figured it was some attempt at closure and quite frankly he was terrified to have that discussion.

Another week passed before the fates forced his hand.

A lot of the money circulating through the hero industry was funded by corporations, new and old. Being in the top tier definitely afforded one a comfortable lifestyle, but to truly live in the lap of luxury you had to suck up to the big names in business. He was fairly certain most of the top ten at least did it if the last few years were any indicator.

That was how Hawks begrudgingly found himself at a fancy, formal event a stone's throw away from his own agency. It was a stroke of bad luck that it had landed there and not somewhere more suitable like Tokyo. He suspected it was moved south due to the cooling temperatures, but it was really anyone’s guess what motivated the decision. Maybe they just wanted a change of scenery.

He adjusted his designer suit, streamlined and black with a blood red shirt to match his wings, then plucked another glass of champagne from a passing waiter. He couldn’t even remember which corporations were at this one though a sidekick had told him at least twice. Normally, he was better at keeping up with those details but his heart just wasn’t in it this time around.

Sipping his champagne, Hawks was relieved to notice Endeavor wasn’t there. Or at least he hadn’t seen him, plus being late and subtle really wasn’t his style. The venue reeked of big money and various other top pros were in attendance, schmoozing and performing around him. His training kicked in where his brain lagged and he slipped into the crowd with practiced ease. After having a few casual conversations with the right people, he got bored and wandered off onto the balcony.

The sun had set hours ago and the city spread out around him, alive with lights and bustling people. He wanted nothing more than to take flight at that moment, gazing up at the stars wistfully, so beautiful yet cruelly locked in place.

He was mentally preparing himself to go back inside when his feathers caught vibrations out of the ordinary. They carried a familiar signature of frightened panic that he’d learned to pick up even while flying. A sudden burst of flames erupted in the slight distance and his heart immediately sped up. A few more plumes curled into the night sky and he leapt over the railing of the balcony, soaring towards them with a potent mix of apprehension and excitement.

Even though there were countless people with fire quirks, Hawks knew it was Endeavor. He knew exactly how those flames flowed and moved, like paint on an abstract expressionist canvas, chaotic but controlled. They followed patterns, had a style, one he could now say he’d had the privilege of witnessing up close and personal.

An errant blast of fire shot right by him practically singeing his wing as he swooped down towards the street. People were screaming and running away, a few cars were going up in flames, a business or three looked heavily damaged. Typical villain and hero damage but he wanted to sigh at the impending paperwork and potential costs that came with getting involved. Irrationally, he considered leaving and letting Endeavor handle it, which he was certainly more than capable of on a physical and financial level.

Their eyes met through the chaos before Hawks even had a chance to identify any of the villains. Though he likely knew Hawks would be around considering it was his hometown, Endeavor still looked surprised to see him. He didn’t pause his attacks, but his eyes widened and the fire around his face flickered before his expression quickly fell back into a scowl.

The villains were a local gang Hawks quickly recognized as they fought and there was enough of them that they weren’t easily subdued. The Symbol of Peace retiring seemed like it had made them more numerous and bold almost overnight. Quite frankly, Hawks thought it was pretty rude since the current Number One was a spectacularly capable pro, but figured they would realize that sooner or later themselves.

One of the members had an annoying razor blade projectile deal going on and Hawks mourned the loss of his expensive suit as it was torn. It was nice fighting someone that seemed able to keep up with his speed, but his patience wore thin while his clothes kept shredding. If he let it continue much longer he wouldn’t be wearing much at all and the press would descend on him like ravenous beasts before he could escape. He was calculating a safe way to rush the guy when fire shot past him and launched him into a brick wall. Yet another blast took out one more criminal lurking near a car.

“Stop fooling around and pay attention!” barked Endeavor, taking off down the street after a fleeing form.

Hawks wanted to be annoyed those were the first words he’d heard out of the man’s mouth in weeks but honestly he was just happy to hear him at all. He released one of his longer feathers and gripped the calamus, darting at another villain and slicing away. All of his strikes were calculated, only superficial cuts that stunned so he could knock them out or pin them down.

All of the villains were subdued within the next few minutes and Hawks sighed, woefully picking at his torn suit. He braced himself as he noticed Endeavor approaching, though he stopped at a slight distance and stalled. Steeling his nerves, Hawks looked up and mustered the most natural smile he could. The hard stare he received in response made him want to curl his wings around his body and hide.

“Hawks-” he started, but cut off on a startled gasp.

Even for a man too fast for his own good, what happened next passed in a blur. He tensed as Endeavor lunged at him, gathering him roughly against his body and spinning them around so quickly he got dizzy. Light spilled from around his back and Hawks thrashed, trying to cover him with his wings before realizing he was missing too many feathers for that to work.

Maybe something else hit them, maybe it was the power of whatever was blasting Endeavor, but they were suddenly launched towards a building. Yet again Hawks was assaulted with the jarring noise of breaking glass and shattering wood. He didn’t have much time to freak out about it before they landed and Endeavor fell solidly atop him.

Wheezing out a groan, Hawks looked to the side and saw one of his shortened wings unfurl. They had instinctively surrounded them as well as they could and he was glad they seemed to have taken some of the impact. Endeavor was still lying on him and he pushed against his chest, worried about what the blast may have done. When he didn’t budge, Hawks detached a few feathers that rolled him onto his back.

He pulled in frantic breaths and coughed for a few seconds when Endeavor’s bulk lifted off his body. Taking in the ruined state of the store as he sat up, he noted nothing felt broken or strained and his head seemed relatively fine. He scrambled onto his knees beside Endeavor, ignoring the debris that cut into them, reaching out to take his pulse before he panicked.

His hand froze in the air as he gawked at what momentarily looked like a stranger lying unconscious before him. The first thing Hawks noticed was the missing scar so that’s where his hand went instead, fingers shaking as they skirted over impossibly smooth skin. The sound of shouting and sirens drifted into the wrecked store but they seemed so far away as he struggled to process what he was seeing.

Before he could jumpstart his brain back into functional speech, Endeavor stirred. Hawks watched intently as his brows drew together and his eyes fluttered open. The face now staring back at him could hardly be over twenty years old.

“Where am I?”

It was such a cliche question that he almost laughed. “Endeavor-san, are you okay?” he asked instead.

Endeavor regarded him with a mixture of confusion and awe. “Who are you? An angel?”

“W-what-”

“Am I dead?” He sounded far too tired for his apparent youth, sitting up and grabbing his head with a hiss.

“You… don’t remember me?” Hawks spoke quietly as he reached out and steadied Endeavor out of habit. He didn’t really want to hear the answer but he also desperately needed to know.

“No,” he said, looking a little worried about whatever expression Hawks was making. “Should I?”

The world faded out around him and his heart started hammering wildly in his chest. Endeavor didn’t remember him. The implications of that knowledge sunk into his mind in a sickening rush. That meant any relationship they’d built was gone, cruelly snatched away by some careless villain. What if it was permanent? Would he have to start over? Should he even do that in the first place?

Pawing at his loose costume then briefly inspecting his shoulder and arm guards, Endeavor tossed him one last glance before standing up. Hawks stared vacantly at the wall, unable to break his train of thought while question after question plagued him. A fine tremor worked its way down his wings and he shifted them uneasily, feeling sweat gathering at his temples.

“You coming?”

He jolted out of his spiraling thoughts and gazed up and Endeavor. Whatever he saw in Hawks’s face must’ve inspired pity because his scowl softened and he offered a hand. He defiantly climbed to his feet, waving the hand away and forcing a smile. Endeavor sought his eyes to the point of leaning down but he avoided them, breezing past him and almost slipping on debris.

Hawks emerged from the store to the sight of police cars, ambulances, at least one news van, and first responders crawling all over the street. Spinning on the heels of his fancy shoes, he abruptly pushed Endeavor back into the shadows, which naturally startled him enough to ignite the flames around his face.

“Turn those off!” he hissed, fanning around his face like that would help put them out. At the very least his facial hair was gone so they were only around his eyes. “I don’t want the press seeing you like this until we figure out what happened.”

“Right,” said Endeavor as the flames flickered out. “I guess.”

“Just… trust me, okay?” Hawks sighed and looked around at the officers until he spotted one he knew. He patted Endeavor on the chest and smiled more genuinely. “I’ll be right back. Stay put.”

And Endeavor did stay put. Armed with a few medics, Hawks discreetly got him into an ambulance without much trouble. He directed them to a trusted medical facility and phoned ahead to let them know it was an emergency, noticing Edgeshot had texted him asking where he’d run off to. He responded simply that it was work related and left it at that. Endeavor stared at him most of the ride there but didn’t say anything. Everyone was waiting for them by the time they arrived, including the doctor Hawks personally used.

The police questioned him while Endeavor was examined in private and Hawks couldn’t stop fidgeting. His doctor was a “quirk specialist” whatever that meant. A large part of him honestly thought it was a nonsense title that tricked people into thinking they were more competent than they actually were. When the door finally cracked open he rushed towards it before the doctor could even wave him inside.

“He’s fine,” she said tapping away on a tablet. “You’ll have to contact the police and see if they apprehended the villain responsible for more information, but it doesn’t seem to have done any damage. Much the opposite, actually.”

“What about the amnesia?” asked Hawks. If the Number One Hero couldn’t remember who he was then they definitely had a problem.

“It’s a common side effect of cell regeneration and regression quirks, which is my best guess at what hit him.” She glanced up over the rim of her glasses and smiled. “It’s rarely permanent but the actual regression is a toss up. Sometimes it sticks, sometimes it doesn’t.”

“How old do you think he is?” Hawks looked at him and smiled nervously when he noticed Endeavor was staring pointedly at him.

“No way to be certain but I would estimate anywhere between seventeen and twenty.” She set the tablet aside. “There’s also no way for me to quickly assess the amnesia. It’s not my specialty.”

“You know I’m right here,” snapped Endeavor, finally averting his eyes to the doctor and crossing his arms. “You can address me directly.”

“Yes, of course, my apologies,” she said. “We’ll discuss a course of action with you after I examine Hawks’s injuries.”

It was only then he even remembered he was injured. The cuts seemed so minor and he’d been running on an adrenaline high. Hawks shrugged off his jacket and submitted to the examination under Endeavor’s watchful gaze, only requiring stitches on one cut on his thigh. It reminded him that his clothes were slashed open practically to the point of indecency and he felt his cheeks heat up from that realization.

Ultimately, they all agreed that Hawks would take Endeavor back to his apartment and seclude him until the effects wore off. If they didn’t, they’d figure out their next step later on. Getting him there without drawing attention was a little tricky, but the ambulance helped. Since Hawks lived in the penthouse, they were able to bypass the lobby traffic and use a private elevator. He had considered simply flying them up onto the terrace but didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention.

When they stepped out of the private lobby and into his open floored apartment, Endeavor wandered inside boldly, appearing a bit awestruck after looking around a moment. He gravitated towards the floor to ceiling windows in the living room like a moth to a flame, pressing a hand against the glass and staring down. Hawks knew exactly what he was doing. He’d done it himself many nights.

Walking up beside Endeavor, he gazed at the sprawl of buildings and lights stretched out below them. Not many complexes were as tall as the one they were in. It was one of the reasons he’d chosen it and he often enjoyed the expansive views it offered.

“Do you want me to get your luggage?” he asked, weariness starting to seep into his muscles.

Endeavor nodded and in the darkness Hawks could almost pretend he still looked the same and hadn’t forgotten who he was. He told himself that Endeavor was still the same man he admired and their current predicament didn’t change anything important. He was still there, nearby and warm, and that was all that truly mattered.

It took a few minutes for Hawks to realize that he probably didn’t remember where his luggage was and he sighed. “I need to change, uh… help yourself to whatever.”

He didn’t wait for a response and rushed off towards his room. After closing the door, Hawks rested back against it and took a moment to mentally freak out. Elation and exhaustion assaulted him in equal force and he felt his knees go a little weak. He stripped his ruined suit off with shaking hands, wandering into his closet and picking out a casual outfit. His hair was probably a mess but he didn’t have time to worry about that.

When he emerged back into the living room, he saw Endeavor was now sitting on his massive sectional couch and frowning down at his phone. First he wondered how it had survived the fray and second he worried he may try to contact someone.

“Endeavor-san, you’re not trying to call or text anyone, are you?” he asked, turning on a lamp and keeping his distance. He pulled out his own phone and shot off a text to his contact at the police force. Time to pull some strings.

“No,” he answered, his tone bordering on petulant. “I’m not even sure what this is.”

“It’s a smartphone.”

Endeavor offered him a puzzled look. “I thought it may be a phone but how is it smart?”

He blinked once then covered his mouth and stifled a laugh. It shouldn’t be funny given the circumstances, but it was. Had Endeavor mentally regressed back into the 90s or was the amnesia being annoyingly selective? Had it even been a cell regeneration quirk or was it a reversal type? Hawks was probably going to find out whether he tried or not.

His phone chirped and he saw the confirmation that his contact would locate Endeavor’s luggage. Telling him he was going out to pick up food, Hawks turned on the TV and fled the apartment via flying off the terrace. Not a lot was open at that hour, so he did the best he could picking amongst the later running establishments, and got another text while he waited. The address and number of Endeavor’s room at a local 5 Star hotel. He made sure to thank the contact for his quick work before grabbing the food and taking off towards the hotel.

Unfortunately, his trademark speed found him standing on the terrace again far too soon, staring warily at the glass doors. He could see Endeavor wasn’t on the couch anymore and that finally spurred him into action. Suitcase and food in tow, he cautiously entered his own apartment, depositing everything on and around his coffee table.

Endeavor wasn’t anywhere in sight and the panic that swept through him was nauseating. He really needed to eat and rest. Grumbling to himself, he stalked into his room first, then turned and promptly collided with something solid. It was a true testament to his level of exhaustion that his wings hadn’t so much as twitched in warning.

Large hands came up and steadied him, heat blazing through the fabric of his jacket and sinking into his chilled skin. The first thing that graced his field of vision was the enticing, exposed v of Endeavor’s chest peeking out from a loosely tied bathrobe. His skin and hair were damp, but the moisture was evaporating off him in wisps of steam.

Hawks tried jerking away but the hands on his arms tightened and a terribly familiar expression flickered across Endeavor’s somewhat unfamiliar face. He withered under the gaze, generally too tired to fight back.

“Your name is Hawks, right?” he asked, voice still deep though a touch less gravelly. “Are you a pro hero?”

The question made him realize that he hadn’t ever formally introduced himself, though by that point Endeavor had heard a handful of people call him that name. “Yeah, I’m the second highest pro hero as of the last rating.”

A slight lift of his eyebrows was the only indication Endeavor was impressed by that. “Are we… involved?”

He felt a blush blossoming on his cheeks and ears, squirming in Endeavor’s persistent grip. “We’ve teamed up a few times,” he said with forced casualness.

Endeavor finally released his arms, moving one hand towards his face and brushing fingers along his jawline. “That’s not what I meant. Why does this feel familiar?”

“This” could mean any number of things and Hawks wasn’t going to let his mind wander down that road. He brushed the hand away and stepped back. “You used my shower,” he said, stating something obvious to shift the conversation.

“Yeah, sorry.” Endeavor self-consciously tugged the robe more securely around his body. Even slimmed down it didn’t fit him very well. “The other one didn’t have any soap and I was pretty dirty. Um… it’s a really nice shower.”

“Thanks.” Hawks felt the blush spread down his neck at the unexpectedly shy attitude, glad for the darkness concealing it. “Come on, let’s go eat before the food gets cold. I brought your suitcase so you can get dressed.”

Hawks kept his eyes politely averted as he led Endeavor to the guest bedroom but he couldn’t help stealing a couple glances. When Endeavor disappeared into the room he sighed in relief and went to the kitchen, grabbing a few bottled waters. He set the food out on his unique, two tiered coffee table. The smaller top part held a few candles and a plant he hadn’t managed to kill yet, bottom sporting a raised ledge. It was honestly one of his favorite pieces of furniture.

“That’s a cool table,” said Endeavor, appearing out of nowhere and sitting down close to Hawks. He wore a t-shirt and sweatpants that were a little baggy but still fit.

It wasn’t like the word cool wasn’t in Endeavor’s vocabulary, but hearing him use it while in that form made Hawks smile. Endeavor still seemed relaxed around him and that comforted him on a fundamental level. Casual comfort was something he often grasped at but usually eluded him.

“Thank you,” he said, running a hand fondly over the beige wood. “A friend helped me find it.”

“A friend?” Endeavor propped an arm on his raised knee and leaned down slightly to see Hawks’s face better. “Who is it? Another hero?”

The barrage of questions was simultaneously endearing and exhausting. Hawks busied himself with opening the containers and offering Endeavor a pair of chopsticks. His eyes lit up when he saw the tempura shrimp and Hawks’s smile grew a little wider.

“Yeah, this friend is a hero, in the top ten with me.” He fiddled with his chopsticks before picking up a gyoza and dipping it in a random sauce. “When I got my first place I didn’t know where to buy anything and he helped me out. It was nice having someone show me the ropes that wasn’t interested in using me.”

“That’s good,” said Endeavor after a lingering look.

Finally turning his attention towards the food, he started eating with the same immaculate manners Hawks remembered. He kind of felt like a heathen eating around Endeavor but nobody had really bothered teaching him such things at the Public Safety Commission. Why waste time teaching him proper table manners when they could be focusing on communication skills or quirk training?

They continued eating while Hawks changed the channel to the news, checking if they’d gotten filmed or recorded. All Might was mentioned in a commercial and he glanced over at Endeavor nervously, bracing for a reaction. His jaw tightened but other than that he simply kept eating.

“Do you know who that was?” he asked, curiosity overriding his better sense.

“He seems so familiar, but no.” Endeavor sighed and set his chopsticks down. “This is really frustrating.”

“I’m sorry, Endeavor-san.” He reached out and patted his arm before thinking better of it, internally chastising himself. Casually touching him had become so natural lately, and he was tired enough that his body was doing its own thing. “I’m… uh, I’m sure things will get better… soon.”

Endeavor’s eyes were glued to the spot on his arm where Hawks was awkwardly resting his hand. Withdrawing it and clearing his throat, Hawks avoided his gaze and gathered up the mostly empty food containers. After depositing them on the kitchen counter, he stared at the back of Endeavor’s head while cursing the open floor plan. As if sensing eyes on him, he suddenly turned and finally got his eye contact, albeit from a distance.

He pulled out his phone as a distraction, noticing it had grown quite late and he was still dirty from the fight. His muscles ached and his cuts and eyes burned. It was time to surrender to the void and let tomorrow Hawks deal with all these issues.

“I’m going to bed,” he announced as he walked through the open space between the kitchen and his bedroom. It probably could be used for a dining set but he already had one outside on the terrace.

“Goodnight, Hawks,” said Endeavor before leaning over the coffee table and retrieving the remote.

He staunchly ignored the warm feeling that sprouted in his chest at hearing someone say goodnight to him. Well, it wasn’t just someone, it was someone important. Endeavor’s hero costume was still lying in a heap on the floor of his en suite bathroom and he ignored that too, quickly scrubbing himself clean in the shower.

Crawling into bed in nothing but his boxers, Hawks fell asleep within minutes of settling against his pillows. His slumber was dreamless and he was fine with that, waking to sunlight softly filtering through his windows. He hadn’t drawn the curtains but enjoyed the warmth that washed over him while he snuggled into his covers and rested a little longer.

Eventually, he sat up, yawned, and stretched before crawling to the end of his bed. The foot of it was pushed up against the large windows so he had a good view of the city. He pulled out his laptop and phone, calling his agency and explaining the situation to his secretary. Most of the paperwork for the day could be done remotely but he did need to go in for a few things. He also needed to contact Endeavor’s agency and let them know what had happened.

Noises from the kitchen startled him and the realization that Endeavor was indeed still in his apartment processed slowly. Maybe going into work for a while wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all. He pulled on some sweatpants, checking his hair before taking a deep breath and leaving his room.

Endeavor had made himself at home in his kitchen and was cooking breakfast. He moved around like he knew the place, which was ridiculous of course, but it stirred something utterly foreign in Hawks’s chest. It wasn’t like people never visited but staying overnight was rare, and guests using his kitchen was even rarer.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked as he stepped past Endeavor and towards the coffee machine.

Glancing at him and doing a quick double take while he worked, Hawks enjoyed the blush that tinted his cheeks. He nodded down at the cast iron skillet, focusing on the eggs he was frying. God, Hawks wanted to pinch all of his cheeks one at a time when he made a face like that. He squashed the thought and made two cups of coffee, setting one near Endeavor on his way to doctor his own up.

He watched the news again, glad he didn’t see any mention of their fight. Mentally, he added checking with the police about the criminal to his list of important tasks. Edgeshot texted him again as Endeavor started bringing food over to the coffee table. He was still in town and wanted to meet up. Refusing that offer may prove troublesome if he decided to drop by and check up on him.

Hawks responded that they could have lunch at one of his favorite cafes before setting his phone aside and thanking Endeavor for the food. He was impressed with the quality and marvelled at discovering another hidden facet of Endeavor that most people would probably never know. The fact he could cook made him seem impossibly more attractive and Hawks tried and failed to keep his expression neutral.

“You need to go shopping,” said Endeavor in-between bites, “and put on a shirt.”

Looking down at his bare chest Hawks laughed and shrugged. “I’ll pick up some stuff after work.”

Endeavor almost pouted at that, then frowned as he continued eating. Hawks finished and thanked him again before getting ready. He told him to absolutely not leave the apartment and showed him how to text or call him. The endearing look of concentration Endeavor wore as he listened was not helping Hawks’s internal crisis.

The first half of the day passed quickly. Hawks got all the essential tasks out of the way, worried when he heard the police had failed to apprehend the villain responsible for Endeavor’s state. They definitely weren't the type of person you wanted wandering the streets with a quirk like that. It also occurred to him that Endeavor had probably saved his life. If that quirk had hit him he may have been “regenerated” to the point of pre-life, rendering him into nothing more than a microscopic group of cells.

He made it to the cafe in time for lunch, watching from a slight distance as Edgeshot talked with a few eager fans. Hawks smiled as he posed for a selfie and kept talking with a young man. There was really no point in telling Endeavor, but Edgeshot was the friend he’d spoken of the previous night. He had been genuinely kind and helpful to Hawks during the early years of his fame and he would always be grateful for that.

Plus, they’d been through enough conflicts and sketchy situations during their friendship that they’d formed a solid bond. Things had only gotten awkward once after an encounter with a notorious sex pollen type quirk, which had driven them to fuck it out of their systems. Hardly the first or last time such a thing would occur and Hawks took it in stride, enjoying himself. He would even dare to say he’d developed a bit of a crush afterwards, seeking Edgeshot out for some casual relief a few times his funky hormones acted up.

Edgeshot, or rather Shinya as he discovered later on, always welcomed him with open arms but always let him go easily. Sometimes Hawks wondered what would happen if he ever tried holding on, maybe showed more interest or better yet, possessiveness. He liked the idea of being desired that much.

They greeted each other warmly and ordered food, chatting while they waited. Hawks half lied when pressed about why he ditched the event early and Edgeshot seemed to believe him. As they ate, which was always amusing to watch Edgeshot work around his mask, random memories of their past scandalous encounters inconveniently surfaced. He knew why it was happening, and kind of wished he could work out some of his pent-up frustrations with Edgeshot.

“You haven’t looked at me like that in a while,” he said and Hawks bet he was smiling softly under that damn mask.

“I always look at pretty people like this,” he said with a cheeky grin. A little subtle flirting couldn’t hurt.

Edgeshot predictably blushed and shook his head with a laugh. “Still haven’t found anyone that can keep up with your libido? Are you in one of those cycles right now?”

“Yeah,” he conceded with a sigh. “It’s annoying… I-”

He was cut off by his phone ringing and was unable to conceal the caller ID from Edgeshot’s quick eyes. Afraid it may be an emergency, he answered it as casually as he could manage.

“I’m hungry and you don’t have much food left,” said Endeavor through the phone without even so much as a hello.

“Oh! Um, sorry about that, uh…” Hawks stood up and gave Edgeshot an apologetic look before rushing outside. “I can get you something. Any requests?”

“I found some money in my suitcase. I could go out myself.”

“No!” The word came out entirely too loud and Hawks glanced around nervously at the startled patrons trying to enjoy their coffees and meals. “Listen, I got most of my work done for the day. I’ll go wrap up there and come back with food just please don’t go anywhere.”

Endeavor was silent so long he almost took off to make sure he hadn’t actually left.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Hurry up.”

The call cut off and Hawks sighed in relief. He went back inside and sat down hopefully not looking as rattled as he felt. “I hate to cut this short, but I have to go. Something… came up.”

“Endeavor, huh?”

Hawks swallowed his panic and nodded. It wasn’t a secret he admired the man and Edgeshot had heard all about it on numerous occasions.

“You two seem to be getting along well lately. I’m surprised he didn’t make it to the corporate event,” said Edgeshot and he could practically see the wheels turning in his head. He was often too sharp for his own good.

“He had other business ventures to pursue, apparently.” It wasn’t the worst lie he’d told by far, but it still bothered him saying it to someone like Edgeshot. Their relationship was important to him and too many lies would ultimately cheapen it.

They said goodbye, promising to keep in touch, and Hawks took flight from the street, racing back to his agency. He called in an order at a place that was on the way back, also considering a grocery delivery service. He’d used them before and felt like maybe he shouldn’t be leaving a restless, amnesiac, possible teenager alone at his place.

Roughly thirty minutes later he was on his terrace, clutching a bag of food and hunched over as he caught his breath. Endeavor had been in his current state for less than twenty-four hours and he was already running him ragged. If he wasn’t feeling so frazzled he probably would’ve laughed himself breathless right where he stood.

The door opened and Endeavor peeked his head out, impatiently waving him inside. He smiled thinly and complied, handing the bag over as he passed him and kicked off his boots.

“Thanks,” he said looking in the bag and walking over to the couch.

Hawks shot off some excess feathers and shrugged off his coat, noticing Endeavor watching him intently as he did so. They reconnected around the ones already growing back in and he winced slightly from nudging some tender spots. It always took a lot of energy to grow the feathers back and he often rested during the process since it was so draining. Of course, hero work didn’t always allow that to happen but it was certainly preferable.

“Those wings,” started Endeavor yanking the entire coffee table closer to the couch instead of moving towards it. He already had a drink resting on a coaster and the TV on, volume low. “You can control the feathers with your mind as well as fly?”

“Yep, you got it,” said Hawks walking into the kitchen. He tossed his coat over a stool and grabbed a beer from the fridge, wondering if grocery delivery would bring him more. He popped it open and took a swig before dramatically flopping onto the long part of the sectional.

“And the feathers grow back if they’re lost or damaged?”

“Very good, Endeavor-san, you get an A+,” he joked, sitting up and sipping more of his beer. “Want one?” He waved the bottle.

Endeavor shook his head and focused on devouring his food. While still technically employing manners, he ate with more enthusiasm that time and Hawks felt bad for making him wait so long. He zoned out and idly watched the TV, staring past it out the windows more often, and finished his beer. It almost gave him a buzz which definitely proved he was fatigued. He settled back against the fluffy cushions and closed his eyes.

Some undetermined time later he was jolted awake by Endeavor shaking his shoulder. It was still light out and Endeavor was sitting entirely too close to him.

“Hey,” he said glaring down at him with his ridiculously intense eyes. “You’re exhausted, let me go shopping.”

“Nice try, but no.” He yawned and rolled onto his side away from him.

Endeavor roughly jerked him onto his back and desire flared in his gut. Was this version of him not as gentle? He desperately wanted to find out, rising on his elbows and letting his eyes roam lazily over Endeavor’s body. He still looked like him, but all the subtle differences were intriguing.

“Come on, nobody is going to recognize me like this,” he argued, leaning even closer and trying to bore holes into Hawks’s head with his eyes. “I’m going stir-crazy here. I’m bored.”

Hawks snorted and sat up, rubbing the back of his neck. “You don’t look that much different. I’m going to order the groceries and have them delivered. Also I’m sorry you’re bored but I can’t exactly throw a party.”

“I don’t like parties anyway,” grumbled Endeavor sitting back and crossing his arms.

The pout was back and Hawks was having a moment over it. Endeavor had definitely pouted around him before, but seeing it grace his younger visage was delightful on a whole new level. Before he did anything stupid, he got up and grabbed another beer.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, disappearing into his bedroom.

He left the door ajar and climbed onto his bed, setting the beer on a nightstand. His laptop was still right where he left it, so he opened it and ordered some groceries while thinking about what they’d have for dinner. Even if it was troublesome, their current situation was a great way for him to spend some time with Endeavor and not have to worry about their impending talk. It was the best kind of borrowed time he could hope for, though he did miss the Endeavor he knew… and that knew him. Intimately.

Hawks set the laptop on the floor and deflated into his messy covers, hugging a pillow to his chest. His eyes slipped shut and he let his mind drift back to the last time they’d been together. Being that drunk had shattered all of his inhibitions, not that he was great at maintaining them under normal circumstances anyway. He had been assertive to the point of pushiness, but it paid off beautifully. He’d played Endeavor’s body like an instrument and it had made wonderful music.

He wanted to tune the Endeavor sulking in his living room almost as much as he wanted to breathe, working and tweaking every part of him until he sang. Usually, his urges were easier to ignore but he’d never had that level of chemistry with someone before. It was like turning on a spigot and breaking off the handle. Nothing he’d done thus far had stemmed that flow in the least.

“Hawks, are you asleep?”

That familiar voice cut through the distant din of the city and he hummed thinking maybe he’d imagined it. When the bed dipped he finally motivated himself to at least open his eyes a bit. Endeavor was sitting on the side of the mattress looking at him because of course he was.

“Yes, Endeavor-san?” he asked, shutting his eyes again. Temptation didn’t work as well if you couldn’t see it. “What is it this time?”

Endeavor was quiet for a moment and Hawks considered taking a nap. The mattress moved again as he shifted close enough that Hawks felt the heat rolling off his skin. His hand twitched in the covers as he ordered it to be still.

“I’m sorry I’m such a burden to you,” he said, low and even. “Things are starting to come back to me slowly, but I still don’t remember much.”

“Please don’t worry about it,” mumbled Hawks into his sheets. “I really don’t mind, I’m just tired.”

“How did we meet?”

He’d been waiting for that question, opening his eyes and observing Endeavor as he gazed out the windows. Even though his bed was fairly large, he was sitting near Hawks, unconsciously close maybe. He ached to reach out and touch him. He was so close, it would be easy. Instead, he sat up and grabbed his beer, putting a little distance between them.

“We’d been at events together for years, but you never noticed much, let alone me.” Hawks took a sip and glanced at him, relieved his attention was still locked on the cityscape. “It was during the Hero Billboard Chart event that we finally met and teamed up for the first time shortly after. It wasn’t that long ago, actually.”

Endeavor looked at him askance. “So are we just colleagues, or are we friends too?”

Hawks didn’t know how to answer that. Whatever relationship they’d cobbled together over the past couple months was complicated and ill-defined. They’d certainly ventured far past the boundaries of friendship but had they even been friends in the first place? He’d like to think so but that didn’t make it true.

“I don’t know,” he said after a moment, swirling the liquid in his bottle and willing his face blank. “We worked well together… but I don't know what we are beyond that.”

Endeavor gave him a searching look but didn’t ask any more questions.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the sun creep across the sky, dipping towards the skyline. It was right on the cusp of winter and the days had grown shorter. Hawks finished his beer slowly, setting the bottle aside and resting back against the headboard. Endeavor mirrored his pose, once again settling far too close. He was considering shifting away again when Endeavor’s fingers brushed against his resting in the covers.

At first, Hawks thought it may have been accidental but the fingers explored his, running over them then slotting between them. He sternly told himself to remain calm even as his heart started speeding up. Knowing what the hand resting on his was capable of under different circumstances was distracting his buzzed mind, redirecting all thoughts exactly where they shouldn’t be.

“Hawks,” he started, hand slipping away while he turned slightly towards him, “why does touching you feel so natural?”

“Because I’m awesome,” he said, letting the first lighthearted answer that came to mind slip out.

“I’m serious,” mumbled Endeavor and the pout made yet another appearance.

Heat rose in his cheeks as he took in the expression on Endeavor’s face. He felt both enchanted by it and powerless before it, fairly certain he’d never witnessed one quite like it before. If he asked Hawks to rob a bank with that expression, he’d probably do it.

“My body…” Endeavor reached out and laid a hand boldly on his thigh. “It wants to touch you.”

“Endeavor-san, you-”

“Why?” he interrupted, squeezing the thigh as his voice tightened.

He drew in a shaky breath as Endeavor glared at him and waited for a response. Giving away the details of their past didn’t seem like a wise decision, so he internally scrambled for a believable yet vague response.

“You’re a lot younger now. That’s just your hormones talking.”

Endeavor blushed but kept staring at him, on the verge of scowling, and slid his hand up the thigh. “Maybe,” he said, massaging the muscles and studying Hawks’s reaction, “but I think it’s more than that.”

Hawks had no witty retort, focus derailed entirely to the powerful fingers digging carefully into his thigh. His body was betraying him, stirring despite mustering every last ounce of his self-control. He licked his lips, opened them to say something useful, anything that may break the tension. The first syllable cut off as Endeavor pressed a finger against them and shook his head.

Undeterred, Hawks opened his mouth intending to offer some compulsory, moral argument and felt the finger slip inside. His lips instinctively closed and he rolled his tongue around the digit, watching Endeavor’s pupils dilate in the waning light. They flitted between his mouth and eyes a few times before Hawks swore he actually heard the tension audibly snap.

Endeavor was suddenly on him, nearly faster than he could track, shoving him back against the headboard with his mouth and body. It was impossibly more assertive than their first kiss, brimming with force and need. He couldn’t help the honest moan that slipped out when Endeavor pressed against him, seeking friction and twining their tongues together.

His wings fluttered out to the sides as they slid down onto the mattress and Endeavor’s weight settled solidly against him. Squirming as he struggled to pull in a decent breath, Endeavor only pressed down harder, temperature rising and cock digging incessantly against his own. Even through multiple layers of cloth it felt so hard and hot. He broke the kiss and turned his face away, gasping as Endeavor worried the skin at the base of his neck.

Working his way up to Hawks’s ear, he bit the lobe, teeth catching on his earring. “I want you,” he breathed, tone low and a bit desperate.

Hawks held out for about three seconds before sending feathers towards the nightstand for supplies. Endeavor never stopped moving, rutting against him, kissing whatever exposed skin he could find, groping up under his shirt. He felt flattered and dizzy under such vigorous attention, body practically vibrating like a plucked string.

The lube landed next to his head with a quiet thump and Endeavor snatched it up before he could ask if he knew what he was doing. He meant to voice that concern but was distracted by Endeavor hastily opening his pants then flipping him over onto his stomach. It was pretty close to how their first time went and he chuckled softly into his sheets, body jerking slightly as Endeavor yanked his pants and boxers down only enough to expose his ass and free his cock.

He shifted on the bed, sighing when his erection rubbed against the soft covers, then hummed as large hands groped at his butt. Hawks enjoyed the fondling, startling slightly when he felt cool liquid being poured directly between his spread cheeks. A finger swiped up the excess lube running down his perineum and pushed it inside him along with the digit. It moved within him well enough that Hawks wondered if he had any past experience at that age or it was just muscle memory.

The second finger crammed inside along with more lube soon enough and he was glad for the haste. He’d been neglecting himself lately and that never went well during a cycle. Just Endeavor’s thick fingers alone were already making him feel like he was close, nerves happily firing off like rockets under his slightly crude ministrations.

He withdrew a few minutes later and Hawks listened to him rustling around with a detached interest, anticipation drowning out everything but desire to be touched and filled again. He was on the verge of begging when Endeavor straddled his hips and pressed against his back, cock wedging between his cheeks and thrusting a couple times. A “please” slipped from his mouth as he canted his ass back impatiently and Endeavor didn’t make him wait long at all. He lined himself up and pushed past the tight ring of muscle with a quiet sigh, maybe going only halfway in, before pulling out and slamming all the way back inside.

The sound of their skin slapping together echoed in the room and Endeavor didn’t move for a moment, lifting himself on shaky arms planted on either side of Hawks above his spread wings. He grasped at one of the arms, panting and squirming at being stretched open so wide. Every time he thought he could easily handle the girth he was shocked that it took some adjusting.

Gasping when Hawks wiggled under him, Endeavor grabbed his hip and held him still. He pulled out most of the way and thrust back in on a moan, did it once more, then paused.

“F-fuck, you’re tight,” he said, voice wavering.

“Keep going,” said Hawks, ready to flip them over if he didn’t continue. “Do it, keep fucking me, I don’t care how hard, please …”

That spurred Endeavor into action and Hawks let his mind dissolve into the ether as powerful thrusts grinded him into his mattress. He went so hard so fast that it almost hurt but any discomfort quickly faded under the overwhelming gratification of being so thoroughly filled. It was wild and eager, every sound that escaped Endeavor as he hammered into him pushing him steadily towards release.

A couple muttered curses drifted through his haze of pleasure and Endeavor stuttered in his pace, nearly stopping as he started throbbing deep inside him. The temperature abruptly spiked and if Hawks glanced back, he was sure he would see flames dancing around some part of him. His cock alone felt like it was cooking his insides, still erratically thrusting through his orgasm. He surrendered to the intensity of that scorching moment and felt himself seize up on the first wave of pleasure.

Hawks rode that current, hearing fading out into a high-pitched whine while he shuddered under its force, mindlessly rutting against his bed. He came spiraling back down into his senses just in time for Endeavor to slump against his back, tucking his head beside his as they both caught their breath.

“These… moved,” he said, petting one of Hawks’s wings absently.

Wheezing out a laugh, Hawks hummed in response. Apparently, some things never changed. Endeavor finally lifted off his back, sliding out of his body with a sigh. He moved a wing out of the way and flopped down onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

It felt like a moment outside of time, room ablaze with the dying light of the sun, smell of sweat and sex lingering dense in the air, din of the city barely audible beyond their gradually evening breaths. Hawks reached out and touched his arm, skirting his fingers across a bicep and over his still clothed chest. It had been a while since he’d had a fuck so frantic they left their clothes on. In a belated manner, he noticed that the tops of the sleeves were burnt. He fiddled with them, pleased that he had made Endeavor’s control slip like that.

“Sorry I didn’t last long,” said Endeavor, glancing over at him with a slight blush.

He shook his head, scooting closer towards the gentle heat rolling off him. “It was perfect, Endeavor-san.”

Gathering Hawks up against his side, he petted one of his wings again, running his fingers lazily between feathers. “So are we actually involved or did I just stupidly fuck a casual colleague?”

“It’s… complicated,” he said, wincing when Endeavor brushed a sensitive part of his wing. He didn’t seem to notice and continued caressing them.

“Yeah, it usually is.”

The conversation died off as darkness crept into the room, city slowly dotting with warm yellow and occasional neon beacons of light. Endeavor eventually got up and wandered into the bathroom, probably cleaning up, and returned naked. He sat Hawks up and undressed him, thoughtfully running his hands over every new expanse of exposed skin and trying to avoid the scabbed over cuts. He got worked up while biting and sucking some marks onto him, pushed Hawks down onto the bed facing the window, and fucked him again.

It was exhilarating being able to see the city spread out below as Endeavor thrust into him with reckless abandon. Hawks was glad he was facing away from him, able to conceal whatever expressions he was making even if he desperately wanted to see the ones playing across Endeavor’s face. He got his reluctant wish when Endeavor came before him and felt bad about it. While he tried assuring him it was fine, he flipped Hawks over, spread his legs, and went down on him.

Watching that version of Endeavor, that could barely control the temperature of his mouth as he took his cock in punishingly deep, was firmly overwhelming. Hawks was spilling down the back of his throat as he uttered a late warning, weakly tugging at red hair. He made no move to retreat, swallowing every last drop and keeping him in his mouth until he started getting overstimulated.

He let out an embarrassing whine and fumbled at Endeavor’s face, relieved when he immediately pulled away. Somehow still in possession of energy, Endeavor kissed his way up his body to his mouth and he hardly cared as he tasted himself on his tongue. When he felt Endeavor’s dick starting to get half-hard again he groaned and shoved at his chest.

“I can’t,” he spoke against his lips, finally resorting to defiantly turning his head away. “I appreciate the enthusiasm but I’m exhausted.”

“Sorry,” mumbled Endeavor sitting up. “Do you want to shower? I’ll help you.”

The smile that Hawks offered him then was the most genuine thus far. Shared showers were probably among his favorite memories of their time together, especially the one Endeavor had held him up during. He was in a similar state but in no mood to move save crawling towards his pillow.

He shook his head, sitting up with a grimace he couldn’t suppress. “I just want to rest.”

Endeavor nodded, effortlessly scooping him up and depositing him against a pillow. He lay down next to him then adjusted the covers over them, watching him with a pensive expression.

“Is it okay if I stay here?”

The question was quiet and laced with uncertainty. Hawks finally closed his eyes and nodded before nuzzling into his pillow. Everything felt better with Endeavor in his bed and he was annoyed that it gave him such a sense of comfort. His mind tried offering an argument that he was taking advantage of a delicate situation he would surely regret but he selfishly squashed the thoughts, basking in temporary contentment.

More problems for tomorrow Hawks, he figured, and finally surrendered to his fatigue.

Chapter End Notes

> Much like Hawks, I want to pinch all of teen Endeavor's cheeks. I'm not sure if he'd be more or less of an asshole at this age, but I think that he'd at least be less jaded. Also I have no idea how temporary amnesia really works, I'm kind of just winging it there.

> I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading! Come scream at me about our boys on twitter @specterpeach!

## Chapter 2

Chapter Notes

> “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

> — Maya Angelou

> Updated warnings: light bondage, drunk sex, nightmares

> Shout out to the twitter enho subset for inspiring and innovating some of the concepts I incorporated into this fic, like Hawks's wings smelling good~ You're lovely and talented people!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Hawks woke with half the covers off and a hot body nestled in-between his wings. It was the perfect amount of heat to dispel the growing chill and Endeavor’s deep, even breathing nearly lulled him back to sleep. It was a simple, peaceful moment, concerns still masked by lingering drowsiness.

He thought maybe he did fall asleep again, stirring when Endeavor shifted slightly and disturbed feathers, tugging him towards consciousness. The heavy arm draped over his torso moved, hand settling on his hip. The palm was so wide it engulfed the gentle crest of bone and overshot it. That alone kindled a warmth that sat low in his gut, slowly working down between his legs as the hand idly massaged him then stroked down his bare thigh.

Through an increasing haze of arousal, Hawks reveled in that moment of casual intimacy. It reminded him of their first night together and how curiously normal it had felt waking up next to Endeavor. That is, once his brain had gotten done stuttering around the fact it was actually happening. A lot of it still seemed like a fever dream or hallucination.

Even with the slight gap between them, Hawks could feel Endeavor’s predictable morning wood straining ardently against his ass. His somewhat sore ass, he noted as he finally stretched, instinctively pressing back towards that glorious cock and its welcome heat. Endeavor hummed and nosed at his hair, lazily thrusting between his cheeks.

He thrust a few more times, redirecting a hand to Hawks’s wing that had twitched open slightly and lifted the covers. The feathers would probably be done growing by the end of the day, and Endeavor stroked down them while turning his head into the wing beneath him. His fingers passed over the soft vanes, feedback rippling down his spine.

“These wings,” he said, rubbing his face against it with a sigh, “they smell so good.”

It was a strange compliment, one Hawks had never heard before. He chuckled and sighed himself when one of Endeavor’s hands finally gravitated between his legs. His palm was just a touch too hot as he curled his fingers around Hawks’s erection and squeezed once, dwarfing it in his expansive grasp.

Part of his mind weakly prepared to argue they should clean up before fooling around, that he was still tired and sore, or that Endeavor was a ticking time bomb of loaded memories. Before even one word slipped past his lips, Endeavor withdrew and rolled him onto his back. Staring over his shoulder as he moved in-between his legs, Hawks saw that the sheer curtains were drawn entirely closed while the heavier ones were left open a sliver. It filtered out most of the morning sunlight, giving the room an even more intimate and secluded ambiance.

“Let’s stay here all day,” he said, wrapping his arms around Endeavor’s neck and pulling him down for a languid kiss. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d spent all day in bed outside of being injured.

“Mmm, not a bad idea,” spoke Endeavor against his lips, snaking a hand between them and grasping both of their cocks in a large hand.

He stroked them firm and fast, lasting marginally longer than he had previously. Hawks studied his face when he wasn’t busy sucking hickies onto him, wondering if he had aged a bit overnight. The expression he made when he inevitably came first was spectacular, head tilted back slightly, eyebrows raised, mouth hanging open on a moan. He spilled all over that sweltering hand and his own abdomen seconds later.

As much as he would’ve loved to actually stay in bed all day, the cum cooling on his skin was an unpleasant reminder of how dirty both their bodies and the sheets were. He motivated them into the bathroom before Endeavor could ask for round two.

What followed was the most inefficient shower he’d ever taken in his entire life. Endeavor could simply not keep his hands to himself, insisting on washing him and lingering on every body part until Hawks smacked them away and took over. When they finally finished, he looked down at Endeavor’s half-hard dick and sighed. Had he been this bad in his teens?

Endeavor pressed him against the tile and started kissing him breathless, making him legitimately worry that he wouldn’t survive this version of the man. Thankfully, his stomach chose that moment to growl loudly reminding him how famished he felt. Feather growing always increased his already decent appetite.

“I’ll… uh, go make us something for breakfast,” said Endeavor, cheeks tinted with a slight blush as he withdrew.

He watched Endeavor grab a towel and hang it around his neck, moisture already starting to evaporate off his skin with a subtle increase of his temperature. Hawks ogled his ass as he left the room, noting it was still more or less the same amazing one he already knew. Shaking excess water from his wings, he wondered if this Endeavor would bottom for him too. Surely an ass that wonderful deserved some honest adoration.

By the time he put on pants and wandered into the kitchen for coffee, Endeavor was dressed and well into cooking what looked like a less traditional breakfast. Opening the fridge to get some creamer he startled at how full it was, turning a confused face towards Endeavor.

“Grocery delivery came after you fell asleep,” he responded with a glance towards Hawks. “And, no, I didn’t let anyone see me.”

“Oh… good.”

Given their extracurricular activities the previous night, he’d completely forgotten about the groceries. It kind of bothered him since things like that didn’t often slip his memory, but he shook it off and made them both coffee. Once again, he set the cup near Endeavor, enjoying the simple routine it offered.

“You forgot the natto.”

Hawks wrinkled his nose. “Ew.”

Endeavor glanced at him and smirked. “Yeah, I don’t care for it either,” he said, then paused, “but it is good for you.”

That sounded the most like the Endeavor he knew since he’d yelled at him a few days ago. Instead of retreating into the living room, Hawks hung out with him while he cooked, then complained about his lack of proper dining table. He countered that he had one out on his “Party Deck” which raised a whole series of questions he patiently answered one after the other.

They ate in the living room while watching TV and Hawks basked in how domestic and mundane their time together felt. Even though his life had certainly had moments like that, they seemed far and few between and nearly nonexistent with company involved. Some part of him would probably always crave the simplicity he’d been denied, impossibly out of reach for someone with his power and talents.

“You caught me,” said Endeavor out of nowhere.

Hawks looked up from his food and raised an eyebrow while he chewed. His brain was working on an annoyingly relaxed lag, probably still fatigued on some level. The vague reference didn’t bring anything immediate to mind.

“I dreamt it.” Endeavor stared intently out the windows, gaze distant and maybe a touch spooked. “It was after a battle… a bad one. I remember pieces of it now. At the end, after it was all over, you caught me before I fell to the ground.”

Of course he remembered that moment and the entire fight in vivid detail. An intense emotion swept over him as he pondered them yet again, averting his eyes from the oddly young Endeavor sitting nearby. Those memories in particular were pivotal to their relationship, forging respect and trust on a level he’d never experienced before. Hawks was eternally grateful he was given the opportunity to support his idol, as he fought, as he won, and even as he collapsed under his own weight.

“It was surreal,” he said, feeling a little reckless. “Getting my hands on you, literally on your body… it didn’t feel real at first but I was so happy.”

“Did I fight well?”

“You did.” He set his bowl down and smiled. “You were magnificent, Endeavor-san, just like I knew you’d be.”

“You were too,” said Endeavor, finally looking at him. “Your speed was insane. Those wings are amazing, everywhere and nowhere all at once.”

Hawks blushed despite having heard similar praise almost his entire life. Still, he’d never heard it from a lover quite that way and it struck him as poetic, maybe even a little romantic. Pretty well out of his wheelhouse even if his public persona painted quite a different picture.

“Endeavor-san, you’re giving me too much credit,” he said, curling one of his wings around the side of his face to conceal his reaction.

He jolted when fingers peeked over the edge of his wing, drawing it back as Endeavor apparently liked to do regardless of age.

“Don’t hide.” He absently stroked the wing before moving the hand to his face and caressing his jawline. “Your feathers, they helped me fly, didn’t they?”

He nodded, leaning into the touch out of habit. Endeavor moved closer, over him, pushing him down onto the floor and hovering. He looked at Hawks with a strange expression, one hand splayed on his chest, absently massaging the bare skin because he hadn’t bothered putting on a shirt.

“I… remember the desperation of that moment more than what actually happened,” said Endeavor, leaning down and frustratingly bypassing his mouth to press fleeting kisses to his jaw.

Reaching up, Hawks looped his arms around his neck and strained upwards, attempting to close the gap between them. It proved in vain as Endeavor merely withdrew and stared at him with an unreadable expression.

“The relief I felt when you pushed me forward,” he paused, petting at Hawks’s hair and face almost reverently, “it was euphoric.”

That declaration, that peculiar choice of words, left him speechless. It was simultaneously flattering and confusing, ambiguous enough that he could only guess at its exact meaning. Also if Endeavor remembered that fight was it only because it had happened so recently, or did he remember more he wasn’t divulging?

“I knew we were involved.” Endeavor seemed pleased with himself, a hint of youthful smugness settling onto his face. He dove down and kissed him passionately though briefly, eagerly working his way to a collarbone.

“Oh?” said Hawks, clinging to him as the room heated up a degree or two. “Did you… um, did you remember anything else?”

“Mmhm,” hummed Endeavor as he licked his way up to his neck and bit down gently. “You, on my lap, wings spread out during sunrise, haloed in light as you came all over me.”

“O-oh .”

Their first time together. Apparently it had been significant enough that he remembered it before much else. Another flattering realization that shot straight to his dick. His mind wanted to delve deeper into those implications but struggled maintaining a decent train of thought under Endeavor’s intense attention.

“You should’ve seen your face,” he continued, in-between enthusiastic kisses that were migrating lower and lower. “Eyes closed, flushed all the way to your ears and forehead, mouth open, moaning and clenching me so tight-”

Just before he reached his waistband, Hawks flipped their positions, sitting down firmly on Endeavor’s lap and spreading his wings out behind him. It was honestly his favorite power move, though he doubted it would ever intimidate or awe a man of Endeavor’s caliber. Still fitting given what he’d just been talking about.

“Do you want a repeat performance?” he asked, grinding down a couple times and shivering.

Endeavor nodded as he grasped his hips, holding them down while he thrusted up and sighed. Even though it was probably a harmless reactionary move, it irritated Hawks that he was still trying to dominate the session after he’d attempted shifting the dynamic. Young Endeavor was a whirlwind of epically horny proportions and the thought of putting him in his place was enticing.

“Let’s play a game.” Hawks smirked as he shot off some feathers and tugged Endeavor’s hands and arms away with them. “No touching unless I say so. If you break that rule, I’ll restrain you with these.” He gestured to a few feathers floating beside him. “Sound good?”

His eyebrows furrowed as he considered the offer, then Endeavor nodded again, arms resting out at his sides. Hawks thought he still looked like a coiled snake ready to strike, but that was fine. He welcomed the disobedience and impending discipline.

Starting out simple and slow, he ran his hands up under Endeavor’s shirt, also kind of annoyed he’d put one on in the first place. The fabric rucked up around his arms as he skirted them over his washboard abs and to his pectorals, pausing to massage the dense muscle. Endeavor’s brows remained drawn while his eyes flit between Hawks’s working hands and his face, occasionally wandering to his wings or chest. The muscles under his hands twitched and he shifted ever so slightly.

Deciding to play dirty, just a little, Hawks grinded down against the blazing erection trapped in Endeavor’s jeans while tweaking both his nipples gently. The reaction was instantaneous as he lifted one hand into the air. He didn’t give him a chance to reconsider that impulse, quickly pinning the appendage down by the wrist.

“Now, now, did I say you could touch me yet?” He twisted one nipple more firmly and felt the cock under him twitch. “These are sensitive, huh? That’s good to know.”

He felt Endeavor tug at the feathers restraining his wrist while he leaned forward, then licked over a nipple. That elicited a weak exhale, so he latched onto it and sucked with more intent, flicking his tongue over the nub before biting it lightly. Endeavor gasped sharply, bucking up under him, though he’d lifted off his lap when he bent forward. Raising his eyebrows, he continued worrying the nipple as he flattened himself against Endeavor’s body and wiggled teasingly.

The other hand jerked up and Hawks had it pinned to the floor within a split second. He lifted his head, displaying a stern expression as he shook it. Wiping his mouth, he sat up on Endeavor’s lap and started grinding at a leisurely pace.

“You’ve lost touching privileges,” he said, watching Endeavor strain at the feathers, maybe testing their strength. “Don’t tug too hard,” he warned, “they cut.”

Endeavor let out an irritated huff but went lax, glaring up at him as he continued moving steadily against him. He went back to groping at his chest, intermittently playing with his nipples, watching him as he started panting in earnest and trembled while struggling to stay still. After a few minutes, he started thrusting up under Hawks, ultimately unable to control himself completely.

“That’s so hot,” he said, speeding up a tiny bit as he felt the rod under him pulse, still throwing off an impressive amount of heat through the thick fabric. “Bet I can make you come in your pants.”

The temperature in the room seemed to elevate another degree and he flinched as the epicenter became almost too hot to touch. Sweat started rolling down his face and back but he basked in it, feeling lightheaded as his own erection strained lewdly at his loose sweatpants. He felt ridiculously turned on and from so little actual contact he wondered if he would come in his pants too. The last time that had happened he’d been an eager eighteen year old under the influence of an erotic quirk.

Despite wanting nothing more than to chase his own pleasure, Hawks focused on keeping his movements controlled, breaking rhythm only so he could bend over and kiss Endeavor. He chased his lips as he withdrew, letting out a surprisingly needy moan that slithered down Hawks’s spine, making him ache to be filled. But that wasn’t what this session was about.

Releasing Endeavor’s wrists, he caught the limbs as they darted up and attempted grabbing him. It took both his hands to hold him back and he called his feathers, curling around his wrists and pinning them above Endeavor’s head, like he had the last time he restrained him. It gave him a peculiar sense of deja vu staring down at this version of the man while trying to dry hump him to orgasm.

Something flashed in his eyes, those icy eyes that often haunted his dreams, that still looked at him with undisguised hunger even though he barely remembered who Hawks was. He wondered if Endeavor recalled being restrained that way because he flexed prettily under the hold, arms framing his head and chest rising slightly as his back bowed. His feet scrambled at the floor behind Hawks and he grinded down as hard as he dared, panting with effort in the stifling room.

Then, just like last time, his feathers went up in flames and Endeavor was suddenly grasping his hips painfully tight as he thrust up against him. He honestly should’ve expected it, faltering to a stop and wincing at the stab of pain the feathers fed his nervous system. Endeavor’s breaths came out increasingly shallow while he glared at Hawks with a look just shy of a scowl, holding him securely against his lap as he kept thrusting with single-minded determination.

All Hawks could do at that point was brace himself on his chest and ride it out. He wanted better leverage and dared leaning back against Endeavor’s bent knees, putting his lean chest on display and flailing one arm back for support while grinding his palm against his neglected dick. The pressure was heavenly and Endeavor seemed to like the show, eyebrows creeping up incrementally.

“Go ahead, Endeavor-san,” he managed to say in-between heaving breaths, wings stretching out further of their own volition. “C-come in your pants like… like a good boy. God, you’re so, so hard… I know you can do it.”

Hawks’s efforts were finally rewarded when Endeavor’s last breath hitched on a moan and his eyes screwed shut. His fingers pressed into Hawks’s hips with bruising strength as he thrust up, lifting both of them off the floor, trapped cock pulsing hotly against him as he flapped his wings out in surprise. He kept their hips elevated for a few more seconds, breathing out harshly, and Hawks finally glanced down witnessing some stray flames licking at his face and poor shirt.

He dropped his ass to the floor abruptly and Hawks gasped when they landed, nearly pitching forward. Endeavor kept thrusting and sighed, cock still somehow flexing beneath him. Taking in the blissed out expression gracing Endeavor’s flushed, youthful face, eyes still closed, overwhelmed Hawks yet again. He cried out as he came and Endeavor’s eyes shot open and immediately met his, which made the whole situation even more overwhelming. Desperately clenching them shut, Hawks rode out his surprisingly intense, clothed orgasm, barely holding himself upright.

The last wave of pleasure hadn’t even ebbed when he finally collapsed onto Endeavor’s chest in a graceless, panting heap. His arms wound around him, holding him briefly before wandering to pet his back and wings, carding through his wild hair. A unique mixture of sweat, sex, and burnt fabric assaulted his senses as he caught his breath. It was a scent he was quickly beginning to associate with Endeavor.

“Wow,” said Endeavor after what seemed like a while.

“Yeah…” Hawks pushed himself up on shaky arms and caught sight of the scorch mark on his rug. Oh well. “I’m gonna go clean up and do some work.”

Endeavor let him go without protest but still seemed displeased he was retreating again. Really he was a lot more bratty and entitled than Hawks would have guessed. As he rinsed himself off he noticed that Endeavor’s hero costume was still on the floor of his bathroom and he was now missing feathers, burnt up in a fit of frenzied dry humping. Fun but exhausting considering he had to grow them back.

After opening the curtains and changing the sheets, Hawks crawled onto the bed with his laptop. He called into the office first, glad to hear nothing important was going on. Part of him still wanted to go in and get a break from the intrusive, pushy, and overbearing Endeavor skulking around his apartment. Another part of him wanted to play him like a harp as much as humanly possible while he had the chance. Why did everything have a harsh time limit with them?

The morning hours dwindled away and surprisingly Endeavor didn’t bother him once. It struck him as odd considering he usually had no compunction about barging in and demanding attention. Hawks panicked at the thought he may have remembered more and was waiting to corner him, or worse yet, avoiding him. He finished the last thing he was working on and set his laptop aside.

Tugging on some capri pants, he ventured into the living room, which was empty. How did such a large guy manage to get lost so frequently in his home? It took a few minutes of searching but Hawks eventually found him out on the terrace. He had it furnished with nice, contemporary pieces and Endeavor was sitting on the loveseat staring off into the distance consisting mainly of the rest of the terrace. The mood felt off and Hawks approached him as casually as he could, only half-heartedly trying to conceal any nervous body language.

“So that’s the dining table?”

Hawks turned his head towards his stupidly expensive, wooden table then back towards Endeavor. That was when he noticed the piece of paper clutched in his hand.

“Fuck,” he swore softly.

“What is this?” Endeavor waved the paper and gestured towards it pointedly. “You said you’re the number two hero, right? This is from you.”

It wasn’t a question and he really didn’t feel like explaining anything going on between them. Kind of ridiculous considering this version of them was “involved” too, but he didn’t know where he’d even begin slogging through any of that. He kept his mouth clamped shut and backed up a step, shivering from the chilly breeze that swept by and wishing he’d put on a shirt.

“When I look at this,” he frowned down at the crumpled paper, temperature of the air steadily rising around him, “I feel… heavy. It doesn’t even say that much but it makes me feel terrible.”

“Endeavor-san, that was a delicate situa-”

Hawks fell abruptly silent when Endeavor bolted to his feet, flames igniting around his eyes and shoulders. Thankfully, he was wearing a tank top that time and didn’t sacrifice another garment to his temper. He marched right up to Hawks, leaving the barest minimum of personal space between them.

“What did you do?” he asked, glaring down at Hawks.

His patience snapped under the accusation and he glared back. “Besides get you drunk and fuck you into a stupor at a promotional event? Mind you that was well after you sucked me off and fucked me in a private bath.”

“So what? None of that sounds like it would make me feel this way.” He looked back at the note, scowl deepening. “I’m sorry. Good luck with everything. -Number Two. Why were you sorry? You must’ve done something-”

His eyes suddenly widened in a way that made Hawks’s stomach sink, throwing off enough waves of heat that he took a tentative step backwards. Now he really wished he’d put more clothes on and could fly away before things got too contentious between them.

“You ditched me?” asked Endeavor, sounding unsure of himself. “The next morning, I woke up alone… hungover, sore, and alone. Were you avoiding the press? Are you ashamed of me… or our relationship?”

“We never had a relationship!” Hawks felt his grief finally twisting into anger. “Whatever we had, you called it all off that weekend!”

Endeavor looked taken aback, flames flickering and curling a little higher. “What? Why would I-”

“Because you’re fucking married!” he yelled, voice cracking on the last word. It was a harsh truth neither of them had addressed out loud thus far. “And you have kids, one around my age, actually.”

“I’m having an affair,” started Endeavor, eyes almost comically wide, “with you? Why-”

“Good question!” He threw his arms up and nailed Endeavor with the most judgemental look he could muster. “You even told me you’d taken other lovers before me. I mean… I have a couple guesses as to why you do it but I’m not gonna elaborate.”

The flames around Endeavor’s eyes died down and flickered out, revealing confusion and hurt. So painfully open and unfair. He glanced away, clearly distressed and trying to process the new information. Absently clutching his chest, he looked back to Hawks, opening his mouth but only made a vague sound before shutting it again.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure they don’t know,” said Hawks bitterly. “It’s pretty sad that you remembered fucking me before any of them. Maybe it’s because you’ve spent so long neglecting them.”

He regretted the words the instant they left his mouth but was so pissed off he took pleasure in the hurt that passed over Endeavor’s face. It really wasn’t a secret that Endeavor was an absentee father, the tabloids always went nuts over it. He was a man that put entirely too much focus on his career and certainly not the first or last hero to do so. Hawks also knew that the reason he broke it off with him had to do with exactly that issue but he wasn’t giving up that information yet, not after wading through rejection for that last month.

“But...” Endeavor floundered a bit, moving closer to him, reaching out the hand that wasn’t still clutching the note. “If I took that risk on you, that must mean something.”

Hawks scoffed, batting the hand away. “Yeah, it means I’m good in bed.”

“No,” Endeavor growled and stubbornly reached out again, grabbing Hawks’s arm just a little too tightly. Flames slipped out along his jawline and eyebrow as he fixed him with a determined look. “When I touch you, I can feel how deep this goes. It can’t just be a fling.”

“H-how would you know that?” he asked, trying to tug his arm away as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. The last thing he needed right then was to start crying but he wasn’t sure he could hold it back.

“I know what I’m feeling,” insisted Endeavor, yanking Hawks towards him until they were nearly chest to chest, or as close as his height would allow. “Just because I don’t have all of my memories doesn’t mean I’m stupid. My instincts are working just fine and whatever we have feels profound. I trust that.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Hawks felt the first few tears slip down his cheeks. They were such pretty words. Such pretty, honest, ultimately useless words. Exactly what he wanted to hear at exactly the wrong time. He choked back a sob, turned his head away, and thrashed his wings in a last ditch effort at escape.

It startled Endeavor enough that he loosened his grip and he used that opening to shove him away. He stumbled back and Hawks sacrificed a few more feathers to hold him as he turned and fled. It was too much. He needed a break.

When Endeavor burnt up the first set of them, Hawks sent more. He made it to his room, locked the door behind him and hastily pulled on some clothes. Grabbing his phone, he heard Endeavor make it to his door right as he darted towards the patio. He fumbled with the latch and flung the door open with shaking hands, only then realizing he was still crying.

Some commotion sounded behind him but he took flight the second he planted a foot onto the patio. At least his speed served him well in that sense. Nothing could catch him if he didn’t want it to. It kept him safe and alive, but really, he could only run so far from emotions.

He had no idea how long he flew, letting his mind empty as he soared under a vast expanse of gathering clouds. Maybe a stray storm was on its way. At some point his phone rang but he ignored it, determined to focus on nothing but the elation of flight.

Cold and significantly calmer, Hawks ordered food from not one but two of his favorite places. He also made a pit stop for liquor, carrying about four bags by the time he landed on his patio. He was so chilled his legs buckled slightly under him as he set down, and he cursed while stumbling towards the glass door.

Thankfully, Endeavor wasn’t in his room but the door was broken. At least it wasn’t burned and the splintering wasn’t too bad, mostly around the frame. He shouldn’t have locked it knowing Endeavor was upset and probably not in the best control of his strength in that body. An acceptable sacrifice if it offered him a breather.

It still surprised him slightly seeing the younger version of Endeavor sitting on his couch, arms crossed, back rigidly straight, and scowling past the TV out the windows. He offered Hawks one scathing glance before returning his gaze outside. He sighed and set the food on the coffee table, taking the alcohol into the kitchen.

He’d bought shochu again, though not the same kind they had during the promotional weekend. This one claimed to be a “better” brand. The beer went into the fridge and the rice vodka sat out on the counter, ready for later consumption if desired. He was in a bad enough mood to get irresponsibly drunk. Balancing two bottles of water, two glasses, and the shochu he went back into the living room to face the music.

Endeavor hadn’t budged a centimeter, still scowling, eyes fixed on the window like icy lasers. He suppressed yet another sigh, methodically unpacking all of the food and pouring out two glasses of shochu. Placing one glass next to the water on Endeavor’s side, he situated himself on the floor and commenced stuffing his face while drinking. After a few minutes, Endeavor quietly joined him, sipping tentatively at the alcohol.

Neither spoke while they ate and drank. They watched TV and he refilled Endeavor’s glass after he drained it, making sure he was also drinking enough water. The air was thick with tension but Hawks’s hunger and exhaustion kept him focused on replacing all the calories he had burned during his flight. His eyes stung and his head grew lighter as the alcohol warmed his blood. A sadly familiar feeling.

He was chewing on the last bite of yakitori when the darkening sky finally opened up and started raining. The downpour grew moderately intense as he watched, bypassing his empty glass and chugging right from the bottle. The shochu was doing its job and taking the edge off the hollowness gnawing at his chest.

“Glad I’m not stuck out in that,” he said mostly to himself.

“Hawks?”

“Hmm?” he hummed, watching the rain splatter in patterns against the glass. It was mesmerizing and thankfully distracting.

“Why do you keep running away from me?” asked Endeavor, sounding exasperated.

“Because you’re overwhelming.” He spared him a sideways glance and borderline cheeky smirk before tipping the bottle back again.

Endeavor seemed fairly chastised by the answer and frowned at the table for a moment. “I’m sorry I made you cry,” he mumbled, “and broke your door.”

“It’s fine.” He waved dismissively and offered him the shochu.

He hesitated before taking it and drinking more. Hawks watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed with predatory interest. Lowering the bottle, Endeavor wiped his mouth and squinted down at the label. He took one more sip and handed it back.

“How can you say you don’t know if we’re friends when I feel this way about you?”

The question made him laugh for whatever reason and he took another swig, noticing the bottle was nearly empty. Feeling reckless and impulsive in his drunken state, Hawks clambered to his feet and almost fell, delighting in the hands that suddenly steadied him. He drained the bottle on the way into the kitchen, tossing it carelessly into the trash bin. The vodka honestly seemed like too much so he rooted around in his limited liquor collection and turned up some sake.

Returning to the living room, he cradled the bottle like a precious treasure while grabbing the remote and turning on a music station, cranking it up so he could hear it over the rain. The sound system he had attached to the TV was decent enough that it filled the entire floor with mellow but energetic electronica. Next he went around turning on mood lighting since the sun had set and the apartment had grown dark. He only stumbled a few times as Endeavor tracked his movements with an annoyingly concerned expression.

Finally, he tried taking his hoodie off while holding the bottle, fumbling and almost dropping it at least three times. Endeavor sighed loudly and walked over to him, gingerly plucking the sake from his hands and watching him. He stripped his clothes off, irritated every time something caught and slowed him down. When he stumbled again, Endeavor reliably steadied him.

“Your skin is so cold,” he said, hand instantly heating up and rubbing up and down his arm.

Barking out an obnoxious laugh, Hawks snatched the bottle back. “Yeah, that happens a lot when I fly. It’s one of the reasons why I got a hot tub.” He practically sauntered towards the terrace, completely naked, pausing by the door as low thunder rumbled in the distance. “You coming?”

After staring at him evenly for a moment, Endeavor shrugged and started undressing. He loosely folded each article of clothing and draped it over the back of the couch, then stalked towards him as he fled through the door feeling giddy.

The terrace was covered nearly to the edge, keeping most of the rain far from the hot tub tucked away near the kitchen. Any overspray that made it in was held at bay by the dark, slatted privacy screens he’d put around it in case the press got ambitious. They’d certainly have a field day with the two top heroes streaking through the darkness for an inebriated hot tub session. He shot off some feathers and tossed the cover back on its hinge, giggling when it groaned in protest.

Before he could climb up the stairs, Endeavor caught his arm and he shivered at the heat that stood in stark contrast to the chill worsened by the storm. Without a word, he picked Hawks up and carefully deposited him, bottle and all, into the water. He stretched his wings out behind him enough that they were outside the tub, mustering all of his focus to detach and pile the bulk of the feathers nearby. The heat seeped into his muscles and he sighed, barely paying attention as Endeavor got in and shuffled closer.

"You know, if I wasn't so drunk, I'm sure these cuts would sting more," he said, fumbling with the bottle. On the second try he got it open and took a drink, spilling a little into the water.

The rain had died down but it still gusted in waves around them, reducing the music coming through his outdoor speakers to the dull thudding of the bass line. Endeavor took the sake from him and gulped down an impressive amount. Whether it was to get more drunk or prevent him from overdoing it was a mystery.

“I found pictures of them,” he said as he handed the bottle back, “of my family, in my wallet.”

“You have a wallet?” Hawks wasn’t sure why, but it struck him as a hilariously common thing for the great Endeavor to have.

“I remember the children… a little.” Endeavor’s gaze was once again distant and he kind of hated it. “Shoto is the only one I can remember the name of though. None of them seem to look very much like me.”

“That’s not true.” He held the bottle unnecessarily high as he made his way towards the buttons, smashing a few before getting the right ones. The water filled with soft blue light and bubbles. “Fuyumi has your eye color, Natsuo has your build, and Shoto has, well, half of your eye and hair color but definitely your iconic glare.”

“I saw her too,” said Endeavor, keeping his eyes averted. “My wife, I guess, with Shoto when he was little. She’s pretty.”

“I won’t argue that.” Hawks offered him the sake then leaned back and stretched out his legs, enjoying the jets. They made the difficult conversation seem just a bit more tolerable.

“The only thing I felt when I looked at her,” Endeavor paused to drink more, looking pensive, “was guilt. Guilt and sorrow.”

Several opinions came to mind but Hawks didn’t feel like it was his place to voice any of them. This wasn’t about him anyway, and quite frankly he didn’t envy Endeavor’s problems even if he had gotten wrapped up in them to some degree. He knew enough of the man’s basic information thanks to the Public Safety Commission’s files, but that didn’t mean he was informed enough to offer life advice or soothing sentiments.

The silence stretched on and Endeavor set the bottle aside outside the tub, giving him a nice view of his ass when he bent over. Vague, possessive jealousy tugged at him and with his inhibitions so low Hawks’s body moved on its own, driven by deeply rooted impulses. Endeavor was barely settled back into his seat when he climbed onto his lap, slipping once in his haste but recovering quickly. He accepted him into his arms without hesitation, almost like he’d been waiting for him, tilting his head up the instant Hawks tipped his down.

The kiss was uncharacteristically sloppy but he didn’t care. He poured his yearning and loneliness into it, probably making embarrassing sounds when Endeavor held him close and returned it with an equal measure of desperation. Their hands explored, groping over slick flesh as their bodies stirred slowly in the heat.

“I’m sorry,” mumbled Endeavor into his mouth, apparently unwilling to break the kiss for his apology. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Shhh,” he said, reaching down between them and grabbing Endeavor’s predictable erection. “Damn, this thing is insatiable.”

“That’s your fault.” He grasped Hawks’s ass in both wide hands and squeezed. “I want you. Right now.”

The tables turned to Endeavor being the impatient one had Hawks dizzy from more than just the heat. Between the hot water and the furnace he was clinging to he thought he might pass out, heartbeat thumping through his head stronger than any bass. He didn’t really care, sending out some feathers to turn off the jets and grab some lube. It was hidden in numerous places throughout the penthouse just in case, a habit he’d developed during the few parties he’d thrown in the place after gaining a bit of freedom.

This version of Endeavor didn’t voice any concerns about fucking in water, snatching the lube and lifting him up effortlessly. The cold air washed over his skin and he was steamed enough that it felt great through his dulled senses. He couldn’t find reliable footing and his legs were shaky, loose from the combination of alcohol, fatigue, and heat. Endeavor supported his weight easily, working fingers into him without preamble.

Letting out a loud whine that the rain swallowed up, Hawks clung to him and relished the rough treatment. It was the kind of urgency he craved, stretch bordering on painful but still skillful enough to make his dick leak where it strained against Endeavor’s chest. It seemed like only minutes had passed when he lowered Hawks back into the water, the blunt head of his cock prodding at his hole as heat rushed back into his body.

He made sure their eyes were locked when Endeavor pushed into him slowly, absolutely loving the way they glazed over the further in he sank. The stretch was perfect, joining the various other burning sensations assaulting his senses. Endeavor barely gave him a second to adjust before curling his hands over his hips and thrusting up. He gasped and shuddered, anchoring himself on Endeavor’s slick chest. The searing cock impaled him again and again, punching the breath out of him on every stroke.

He wouldn’t necessarily call it their roughest session, but it was close. Endeavor kept a steady pace, water sloshing around and over the sides of the tub, panting and grunting with effort, occasionally even crying out. It was the loudest he’d heard him during sex, even compared to the time he had restrained him. Looking at him as well as he could while being bounced on his lap, Hawks noticed his eyes were shut and put a hand on his face, feeling the faint beginnings of stubble scratch his palm. They opened, maybe not quite as young anymore, glowing pale teal in the light reflecting off the water sloshing around them.

“You feel so fucking good,” he declared, in-between pants, clutching his ass in both massive hands as he drove up into him. “ Ah! … shit, I’m already close.”

Hawks opened his mouth to offer some lewd retort, but all that came out was a loud, shameless moan. The water heated up to an unpleasant degree, skin and cock threatening to cook him. He grimaced but the pain only made his insides tighten, drawing out a lovely groan from Endeavor. His hearing reduced to his thundering heartbeat, head pounding along with it and spinning when he tipped it back slightly.

Endeavor suddenly cried out, startling Hawks and thrusting up one last time as he shoved him down firmly against his lap, burying himself to the hilt. Hawks felt him release inside his swollen canal, pulsing and shooting searing warmth so far inside him that he thought it hit his core. In that sweltering moment, he tensed up as his body started moving on its own, instinctively chasing friction and pleasure.

It felt like a dream, sounds of water sloshing and hissing as it evaporated the only thing filtering past his heartbeat. Flames cast a golden hue and slipped through the steam billowing around them, fingers digging into his ass and helping his hard working thighs. His orgasm swelled, cresting once, falling off shortly, then coming back on the next thrust in a blinding wave.

His back went rigid then bowed as his hand slipped on suspiciously dry skin, so hot he flinched. The sound of his cries distantly registered, while large hands splayed across his back and prevented him from falling backwards. He shuddered under its force, vision blacking out at the edges while his blood thundered through his veins.

It was so hot. Too hot, actually. He soared on the dizzying sensations of coming on and over Endeavor who kept thrusting into him while he rode it out. Then just as he thought he hit a second wave of euphoria the world faded out to darkness. It seemed like sound came back slowly but he had no way of really knowing. He surrendered to it, oddly at peace with letting go for a change.

When he stirred, they were still in the tub and he was slumped against Endeavor’s chest, cradled in his arms. One of his hands petted at his hair while he called his name. He looked up at him, dazed as he sat up a little and paused on another wave of dizziness.

“I… think you overheated me,” he said, collapsing against his chest again.

“Sorry,” mumbled Endeavor into his hair, reaching down to grab his thighs as he slid free from his body.

The emptiness it left behind was both relieving and distressing. He was sore but the buzz held any real pain at bay. The water was likely thoroughly contaminated though roughly half of it was gone after their rigorous session. A cold wind swept over him and it felt heavenly.

Hawks was about to ask him to carry him inside, sluggishly reconnecting some feathers, when Endeavor gathered him up in his arms and carefully climbed out of the tub. He waited patiently until Hawks slowly reconnected every feather, keeping the temperature around them slightly elevated to ward off the chill. Endeavor didn’t ask if he wanted a shower, simply going straight into the bathroom and rinsing them off, then toweling him dry.

He felt pretty out of it, still drunk and horny even though his legs barely held up his weight. The meticulous attention to his body was flattering and he savored it, humming with appreciation and mumbling potentially embarrassing words of endearment. He didn’t care and probably couldn’t keep his mouth shut if he tried.

After he laid him down on the bed, Endeavor withdrew and Hawks panicked as he started walking away, impulsively sending out feathers to stop him. He stumbled and laughed, somehow sounding even more like his normal self through such an insignificant reaction.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, running a hand over a secondary feather, sending the vibrations ghosting through his nerves.

He did return minutes later, after the music cut off, propping Hawks up to lean against his chest and making him drink a bottle of water. He dutifully finished it and tossed the bottle aside, looking out at the city as rain misted against the windows. Endeavor’s hands didn’t remain idle long, running over his legs and chest, down his arms, tangling their fingers together briefly before releasing them and starting the exploration all over again.

They were both hard but the urgency had worn off, replaced with deliberate admiration. Endeavor laid him out beside him and slowly caressed every expanse he got his hands on, spending extra time on sensitive spots, peppering them with kisses and sucking hickeys in randomly. Somewhere through the haze of pleasure, Hawks thought maybe he looked a little older, but it was hard to tell in the dark.

“Endeavor-san, why are you doing this?” he blurted out, because alcohol had an annoying habit of obliterating his tact and filters.

“Because I want to,” he answered, not missing a beat, hot breath fanning over his neck as he worked his way up to Hawks’s mouth. “Because you’re addicting and I can’t help myself. Because you make me feel alive instead of just existing.”

He swallowed any attempted response by kissing Hawks so deeply he got lightheaded, shamelessly groping at his chest before running his hand down his abdomen to a butt cheek then between his legs. Hawks moaned into his mouth when his hand finally wrapped around his cock and slowly pumped.

“Also because you’re sexy as hell.” Endeavor spoke against his lips, kissing him again before pulling back and letting his eyes rake over his naked body. “When I first saw you… I didn’t even know who you were but my body stirred at the mere sight of you. That has to mean something.”

Every word shot straight to his chest and ached, so Hawks reached up and pulled him back down for another kiss, chasing it away. He didn’t even have to ask, fingers were soon working him open. It burned and he gasped and groaned, Endeavor returning to his mouth on each one and soothing him with reverent kisses.

Tilting Hawks onto his side, he arranged his wings out of the way as Endeavor settled between them. It reminded him how they had woken up and his heart felt like it was bleeding in his chest, grasping at that fleeting memory while Endeavor lifted his leg and pushed inside him. He wondered if he had used lube but he slid in easily enough that he guessed he did. Pain sat on the edges of his pleasure, insides still swollen and sore from their recent session.

Endeavor seemed mindful of his state and fucked into him slowly. It wasn’t really what he wanted, but it still felt amazing, gradually building towards orgasm while large hands groped leisurely at his body. Soft gasps and moans occasionally cut through the steady sound of rain droning in the background, creating a moment that felt serene, adrift, timeless.

The calm before the storm. And not even the one that had already happened. The next one had the potential to be so much worse.

Banishing all troubling thoughts as they tried bubbling up, Hawks refocused on the physical sensations, reaching between his legs. It spiked the pleasure enough to push him right to the brink of coming and while he hung in that limbo he let out a moan that bordered on a whine, frantically stroking himself towards release.

Endeavor mouthed at his neck panting close to his ear and he turned his head, tried meeting his eyes and failed. It didn’t matter because he kissed him and that had him clenching up and spilling all over his hand and sheets a second later. He hummed into Endeavor’s mouth because that was all the sound he could make as his body shuddered and shot out the last of his energy.

While trembling through the gentle aftershocks, Endeavor suddenly broke the kiss and picked up his pace. Under normal circumstances it probably would’ve pushed Hawks towards overstimulation, but his drunken nerves took the hammering with ease. He cried out each time Endeavor thrust back inside, rim burning as it stretched around his substantial girth until he finally bottomed out and stilled on a groan. Warmth spread somewhere deep inside him yet again and he sighed, placing a hand over his abdomen and closing his eyes, memorizing the sensation.

Time lost even more meaning after that, and all Hawks really registered was Endeavor sliding free from him and how sore he felt. He groped absently behind him until he got one last kiss then surrendered to his fatigue. His slumber was restless, but probably only because Endeavor kept waking him, first by cleaning him, then by talking to him though he didn’t make out much of what he said, and finally by crawling into the bed and gathering him against his chest. That seemed dangerous considering he could possibly wake up with all his memories but Hawks was nowhere near coherent enough to kick him out.

Despite being thoroughly exhausted, he kept waking up at intervals, blearily glancing up at Endeavor. He was there every time, sleeping peacefully, an expected but comforting sight. Around the time pale light started filtering in through the curtains he finally fell into a deeper sleep and the dreams followed. Old memories meshed and twisted with new, all warped by an undercurrent of anxiety.

His mother had just stood there while they took him away. She had even looked happy about losing him and he’d always wondered why though he never asked. It wasn’t like she’d ever been particularly affectionate with him that he could remember but that moment always replayed in his mind. Except this time it wasn’t her, wasn’t her smiling face saying goodbye. It was Endeavor.

He tugged against the hands holding his arms, leading him away. When they didn’t relent he told them to wait, that he’d changed his mind. They didn’t slow down and kept pulling him further and further away. Endeavor merely smiled at him as they did, making no move to stop them even as he started hysterically sobbing. He lashed out, probably with his feathers, felt them release him.

Stumbling forward, everything went dark as he reached out, spreading his fingers into that void, desperate for contact. Nobody grasped them. Nobody was there at all. He fell to his knees, arms hanging limply at his sides, hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

It seemed like an eternity passed in deafening silence before he saw a spark of something in the distance. A flame flickered to life, casting a soft orange glow in the darkness. He watched it dance, clambering to his feet and walking towards it, towards its warmth. It grew brighter and brighter before erupting into a blazing inferno. He tossed his arms up instinctively shielding his face, skin burning against its strength.

He must have screamed or cried out because the next thing he knew he was being shaken by disembodied hands. A sound died in his throat as he jolted awake and saw Endeavor’s frowning face hovering over him. A shaft of morning sunlight spilled into the room, bathing everything in intense golden hues, making Endeavor’s auburn hair glow a vibrant red. He reached for him on a shaky inhale, realizing he had probably been crying in his sleep. How embarrassing.

“Are you okay?” asked Endeavor, voice still rough from sleep.

When Hawks placed his hand on his face, he nuzzled into it with a hum and it comforted him on some bone deep level. Studying Endeavor’s face while his vision cleared, he thought he definitely looked older, though the scar was still absent. Really it was such a recent addition to his visage it would be the last thing to come back.

“I’m fine,” he said, wiping his cheeks and woefully noting they were damp. It had been a little while since he’d had a nightmare like that.

“You were crying… and screaming.”

“Yeah, sorry.” He yawned and stretched, back and ass aching in protest. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Hawks,” started Endeavor, sitting up and squinting at the cracked curtains, “I remember.”

Even though he’d been expecting it, his stomach felt like it dropped through the floor. “How much?”

“Probably not everything, but still enough.” He looked back over his shoulder at him, expression too soft. “We need to talk.”

Chapter End Notes

> I tried keeping this two chapters but I’m not great at being concise with these guys haha. Teen Enji is pretty fun to write! Getting a feel for the headstrong brat I think he’d be lol RIP Hawks when he used the legendary, hated phrase at the end there though. But seriously, they do need to actually talk this out, goodness.

> I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading! Feel free to scream at me on twitter @specterpeach!

## Chapter 3

Chapter Notes

> The thrilling conclusion with lots of feels~

> Updated tags: preening, rimming, deep throating, mention of forced marriage

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The statement dropped between them with the subtlety of a bomb and Hawks had no idea what to say. He was in a sorry state, sore, slightly hungover, and leaking fluids onto his sheets yet again. Rising up on his elbows with a wince, he considered asking if he could maybe take a shower and maintain a little of his remaining dignity.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked instead, not entirely too surprised that took precedence over his hygienic needs.

Endeavor paused long enough that it made his heart hammer with anticipation as his stomach threatened to flip. He finally shook his head, turning his body towards Hawks. The sheets slipped off one of his thighs as he arranged his legs, edge just barely concealing his lap. It was distracting as hell even through his anxiety and dull headache.

“And this… thing we have is still over?”

When Endeavor merely nodded once, concisely, he felt a weight settle firmly onto his chest. He sat up and winced again, slowly sliding off the side of the bed.

“Then this can wait,” he declared, trying not to leave any room for debate in his tone. With his two biggest concerns addressed he refused to have a conversation in a puddle of the man’s cum, which really painted the whole situation in an ironic and hypocritical light.

Surprisingly, Endeavor let him go without protest and he wondered if he was dreading the talk too. It had been brewing for about a month so there were plenty of complex emotions swirling around, at least on his part. Thinking back, he really hadn’t had conversations like this outside of hypothetical training exercises. He hadn’t had the time to form deeper friendships or relationships that warranted such talks in the first place. Most people seemingly prefered him on a more superficial level anyway and that had generally suited him just fine. Or at least he told himself it did because what other choices did he really have?

After chugging a glass of water he brushed his teeth, noticing Endeavor’s toothbrush resting near the sink and resisting the urge to childishly chuck it in the trash. He stepped into the spacious, walk-in shower, sidestepping the rainfall shower head as he turned it on. Staring out the windows while the water warmed up, he couldn’t pin the time beyond maybe midmorning. The bright sunlight and fluffy clouds did little to cheer him up.

He had just started washing himself when Endeavor barged into the bathroom. Without a word of warning, he stepped into the stall, disrupting the spray and every bit as naked as when they woke. Reaching around Hawks, he grabbed some soap and placed a hand casually on his hip, nudging him aside.

“What are you doing?” he asked, cranky and confused. “If our fling is over then get out of my shower.”

“There’s no soap in the other one, remember?” said Endeavor with a characteristic frown.

“Then wait your turn like a normal person.”

Endeavor stared at him evenly for a moment then narrowed his eyes slightly. “You’re upset with me.”

“That’s not the point.” Hawks snatched the soap bottle out of his hand and used some before setting it back onto a ledge. “You’re the elder here. Shouldn’t you be lecturing me on boundaries instead of slipping into my shower like a pervert.”

Undeterred, Endeavor simply retrieved the bottle and continued washing his body. “If you want me to leave then just say so.”

Watching him slide soapy hands all over his notably buffer body, which appeared a lot closer to thirty-something than young adult, Hawks wasn’t sure he had enough willpower to tell him to get out again. Honestly, he couldn’t even frown properly at him anymore. Sighing, he reached for a razor and relented, thoroughly unamused with how his body was attempting to stir just from Endeavor’s proximity.

The rest of the shower passed without incident, painfully domestic as usual, and they both got dressed in their respective rooms. The distance between them felt awful and he selfishly wished he could have the teenage Endeavor back just for one more day of blind adoration and mind-numbing sex.

Taking in Endeavor’s older appearance as he cooked managed to be both comforting and disturbing. He looked much closer to the version he had grown to know so intimately and now he could boast knowing a different side of him too. The casual smalltalk from the previous morning was absent but Hawks didn’t mind, letting his mind wander as he blatantly stared at him while he moved around, muscles flexing beneath his now tighter clothes.

They ate at the coffee table again, watching the news, still relatively silent, tension heavy in the air. It grew thicker the longer they stalled, souring his appetite a little though he still stuffed his face as a distraction.

A hand suddenly brushed against his wing, startling him as fingers smoothed over the vanes. The ones he’d lost were already starting to grow back but thankfully Endeavor didn’t touch those sensitive areas.

“I’m sorry about this,” he said, withdrawing his hand but sitting far too close. “My temper cost you more feathers.”

“It’s fine.” And really it was. It wasn’t the first time, and hopefully wouldn’t be the last, that he sacrificed them for Endeavor’s sake. He would gladly give them all over and over again if it meant he could keep him nearby.

“It’s not.” Endeavor sighed, looking outside, brows oddly relaxed.

“Endeavor-san, I-”

Hawks’s phone rang from his nightstand and his feathers caught the tone immediately. Afraid it was an emergency at his agency he bolted to his feet and rushed into the bedroom. It was work but thankfully it wasn’t an emergency. His sidekicks and staff were competent and it took very little to steer them in the right direction. He thanked them for checking in with him on the issue, a business related matter, and hung up.

He considered going back into the living room and eating more but a moment of solitude sounded better. The sheets were dirty so he stripped the bed and remade it with clean linens, taking extra time to tuck everything in and arrange pillows. After that he opened both sets of curtains more and sat on the side of the mattress, staring out at the buildings, wishing he were flying around them instead of awaiting a loaded conversation.

“Hawks?” came Endeavor’s voice from the doorway. “Is everything okay?”

“At work?” he asked, glancing back over his shoulder as Endeavor approached. “Yeah, everything’s fine there.”

“But not here,” said Endeavor, pausing next to him then kneeling in front of him when he continued staring blankly outside. It was somewhere between an act of humility and demanding attention. “Please talk to me.”

“Why? It’s not going to change anything.”

“Because I want to know how you feel about this.” He grabbed one of Hawks’s hands, the one resting on his thigh, and squeezed lightly. “Is it any secret after the last few days that you’re important to me?”

Tragically, Hawks felt tears gathering in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry about this anymore. His chest felt heavy and raw, hollowed out by an intrusive and painfully honest version of the man demurely kneeling before him on the floor. Hawks finally looked at him, took in the pleading expression that had gone soft around its determination.

“Did you really mean the things you said about us?” he asked, because he was apparently a glutton for punishment. “The things you told me when you had amnesia… are they true?”

“That what we have feels profound?” Endeavor stared back, immobilizing him with his icy stare, confidence now backed with the solid weight of experience. “That you make me feel alive instead of just existing?”

Each word felt like it stabbed at some tender place deep inside, neglected and scarred over. A few tears slipped down his cheeks but he kept them mostly at bay, desperately scrambling to shut off his heart. Nobody really thought about him that way and nobody likely would. They were just the words of a dumb kid that didn’t know any better, naive and idealistic.

“It’s kind of strange to think back on saying those things,” said Endeavor, looking away briefly with a faint smile. “Being that young again gave me a different perspective. You were the center of my world for a little while, something that felt familiar and comfortable when I felt extremely lost.”

Hawks watched him rise up on his knees, so tall their faces were close, and he wiped away a stray tear, staring at his mouth in an almost distracted way. The hand lingered, cupping the side of his face as their eyes met again.

“You do make me feel alive,” he declared, like he was reclaiming the conclusion. “And what we have does feel profound. The last month has been… difficult. On many levels.”

“Then,” Hawks paused and sniffled, taking in a shuddering breath as more tears threatened to spill, “why is it over?”

And that really was the question he should’ve asked weeks ago, even though he’d already been told the answer. Desperately, he hoped that maybe something had changed, but also feared a more detailed explanation. He was certain a laundry list of reasons why they couldn’t be together would be devastating, though he was determined to argue each point. The silence stretched on for a good minute and Endeavor’s expression was clearly troubled as his hand finally slid from his face, though he was still holding the one on his thigh.

“I’ve started making amends,” he said, lowering his gaze to Hawks’s chest. “It’s going a little better than I expected in some ways and exactly how I thought in others.”

He wanted to say that wasn’t what he had asked, but he was genuinely interested in how Endeavor’s life was going. When he didn’t continue, he felt the urge to shake more information out of him but suppressed it, anticipation ruffling through his wings and drawing Endeavor’s attention.

“I have plans.” His eyes stayed fixed on the wings, fingers twitching like he wanted to touch them. “I’m… trying to be a better man and father. My sons aren’t very receptive to it yet and my wife still won’t see me, but my daughter is helping.”

“Your wife…” mumbled Hawks before he could stop himself. There was one solid reason they should stop but he also knew they’d been separated for quite some time. The tabloids had been all over that mess and Shoto was rumored to have been involved. “Did you really-”

“Force her to marry me?” asked Endeavor, cutting him off and still avoiding his eyes. “Essentially, yes, I did.”

Affirmation that it was definitely not a love match made him feel incrementally better, but not much. Like the previous night, he refrained from offering an opinion because it really wasn’t his place and he hadn’t exactly been brought up with the greatest morals anyway. Instead he let out a breath, not quite a sigh, and scooted back onto the mattress, turning away from Endeavor and crossing his legs. Space seemed like a wise decision and he fanned a wing out between them as a not so subtle statement to stay away.

Endeavor didn’t even sigh at the action and Hawks wondered if he had a look of resignation, that maybe he was used to this kind of behavior from his family. What kind of judgment had this man already endured? Did he even care what people thought of him?

He felt the mattress dip down when Endeavor sat on it and that time he didn’t force the wing out of his way. “Did you know,” he started, then paused to finally sigh deep and weary, “nearly every night I dream about my family, happy… without me. I don’t know if it’s a sign or what but I’m listening. I’m going to have a new home built for them. I think it’s the right thing to do… letting them go.”

Hawks kind of hated that he was so interested in this development. It seemed emotionally intelligent and repentant enough, not trying to control or force the situation one way or the other. Honestly, he didn’t want the same kind of treatment. Moving his wing back a bit, he curiously peeked past the feathers and witnessed an expression on Endeavor’s face that he’d never seen before, something distinctly heavy and distant. Mentally, he seemed so far away and petty jealousy flared in Hawks’s chest again.

“Regardless of what’s going on between us,” said Endeavor, shifting the conversation back where he wanted it but still not looking at him, “you deserve far better than me.”

There he went again with who deserved and didn’t deserve what, chucking any emotional intelligence right out the window. First he didn’t deserve Hawks or what they had, now Hawks deserved better. It seemed like such vague, empty logic. Not a satisfying conclusion in the least.

“Well, did you know that most of my life and its direction has been dictated by the Commission?” countered Hawks, curling the wing back further. “My feelings about you are some of the very few things predating them that I held on to. Don’t tell me what I do and don’t deserve.”

Endeavor finally looked at him, still a touch distant, maybe a little amused. “So you’re a long-time fan?”

“It’s kinda funny,” he said, moving the wing completely out of the way and shaking it slightly more for show than stretching. Endeavor’s eyes predictably tracked it. “I idolized you but had no idea if I’d actually like you as a person, like beneath the media buzz. I thought I’d prepared myself for all possible outcomes, but this… this is so far beyond anything I even dared imagine.”

“This is my fault.” Endeavor shook his head. “I never should’ve crossed that line in the first place, let alone continued doing it.” He turned towards Hawks, planting a large palm down too close, sinking the mattress under his weight and almost tipping him. “We need to stop.”

Many retorts raced and jumbled in his mind but nothing came out of his mouth. Instead, he reached out and braced himself against the invasive arm before he actually did topple over. The hot skin under his hand ignited an instant reaction, conditioned from ingrained adoration and too many intimate encounters. It didn’t help that this version of Endeavor looked exactly like the one that had saved him long ago, something he hadn’t risked breathing a word of yet and may never.

A light and manic feeling bubbled up in his chest, memories overriding the bleak present. Just last night they’d had one of their most intense sessions yet and then fucked again right where they currently sat. Probably not the best spot to have an important conversation without getting distracted. He felt a flush spread up his neck and blossom on his cheeks then watched it mirror on Endeavor as well.

“You’re not easy to quit, Number One,” he said wistfully, pushing away in another attempt at putting some distance between them. He couldn’t think straight with him constantly sidling up into his personal space.

Fingers gripped his arm, effortlessly spanning it and digging into the muscle as he yanked Hawks back towards him. He gasped at the action, arms and wings flailing out too late to stop him from tumbling against Endeavor, which stupidly seemed to startle him too.

“Sorry,” he muttered, though he made no move to push Hawks away. One of his hands came up to cradle his back and he nearly shivered. “Don’t run away from me. Not anymore.”

“Oh… um, I-” He floundered, placing his hands on Endeavor’s chest and withdrawing only enough to look up at him, confused. “Aren’t we supposed to… stop?”

Endeavor regarded him evenly, cheeks tinted pink, which softened his still younger face. “One more day,” he said quietly, tone thick with some emotion Hawks couldn’t identify. “Let’s be together one more day.”

It was all the permission he needed to reach up and wrap his arms around Endeavor’s thick neck, tilting his head as he leaned down. The kiss was fluid and bittersweet, bringing more tears to Hawks’s eyes and he probably couldn’t have suppressed them if he tried. They slipped down his cheeks and Endeavor wiped a few away before lifting him like he weighed nothing, spreading him out onto the mattress like a meal he intended to devour.

He shot off as many feathers as he could manage, unable to shed the pin feathers still growing in since they had a blood supply. Using a few to hastily shut the sheer curtains, he winced when Endeavor pulled his shirt off. Despite being careful his wings were still tender at spots, just like the various bruises littered across his body and his ass. Stretching them out to his sides, he reattached all of the feathers as his pants were tugged off, hoping the excess buffered the sensitive ones. Honestly, he didn’t want them in the way, but whether he kept them in or not depended most often on whims.

In no apparent rush, Endeavor kissed the finger shaped bruises decorating his hips one at a time almost apologetically, brushing over random hickies as he caressed his body. The exploration was deliberate and slow, saturated with affection. It made him feel outrageously exposed even considering everything they’d already done. He reached up and pulled at Endeavor’s shirt wanting to expose him too.

“Okay, okay,” he said, voice unbearably soft as he discarded the offending garment.

Hawks simultaneously craved and hated the gentle demeanor. It lodged into his heart and stung, evoking a sense of yearning laced with fear. The complex response was irritating and confusing, something that usually made him panic and quit any attempt at deeper relationships. But this was no normal relationship and he absolutely would not waste a second of it, no matter how uncomfortable he felt.

Just so the fates could test him, he was sure, Endeavor momentarily stopped his leisurely browsing of his body to lock eyes with him and stare. It was a lingering gaze, pale turquoise that reminded him of the skies he flew through, still stern and strikingly clear. He reached up and brushed his cheek, the one that should be scarred, missing its texture beneath his fingertips. At least the familiar set of his brows was there and he let it calm him as he reached down, playing with the waistband of his sweatpants.

Sneaking a hand down between him and the mattress, Endeavor grasped one of his butt cheeks, eliciting a gasp. It reminded him he was pretty sore but also worked up, cock completely hard and dripping against his abdomen. Endeavor had spent a good while slowly teasing and riling him up. The hand gripping his ass kept him from squirming and he bit his lip to stifle a whine.

“I was too rough with you,” said Endeavor somberly, releasing the cheek and sliding the hand over his hip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He raised up on his elbows and smiled, shaking his head. “This is nothing. I’ve definitely been put through worse.”

Jealousy flashed in Endeavor’s eyes, and even though he’d been referring to training it filled him with joy that he’d assumed wrong. Opening his mouth to add fuel to that fire, he was cut off when Endeavor lunged at him, kissing him back down against the mattress and running his hands up his back, right into his sensitive scapular feathers at the base of his wings. Unable to help himself, he let out a hum that bordered on a whine as Endeavor crawled over him.

Endeavor kissed him until he could barely breathe, spots dancing in his vision as the temperature around them spiked a degree or two. His blunt fingers slotted into the feathers and rubbed, sending intense feedback shooting directly down his spine. When he hit a tender area in his groping, Hawks tore his lips away and gasped sharply. The pain made his dick twitch, though, and he rutted up against Endeavor, hands slipping on his broad back.

“Still a greedy little bird,” he mumbled, grinding once in return before withdrawing.

Reeling and twitching as random nerves shot off phantom sensations at his wing base, Hawks looked down past his body. Endeavor palmed the substantial bulge in his sweatpants before simply burning them off in a dramatic flash, somehow sparing the covers beneath. The only thing that kept him from wincing was conditioning and he watched as Endeavor’s cock sprang free, already leaking while he stroked it a couple times. He gave Hawks a suspiciously devious look, flipping him over before he could even gasp.

Dumbly, he asked him what he was doing, words cutting off when Endeavor grabbed his hips and hiked his ass up into the air. His wings flapped out more on instinct than intention and Endeavor put his warm hand on the feathers of one, pressing down carefully. They stilled almost instantly and Hawks counted two heartbeats before his cheeks were pried open, breath fanning out against his skin.

The first tentative lick at his rim punched a startled noise out of him, the second coming with more purpose and eliciting an immediate moan. The tongue explored gently, moving in hypnotic circles around the outside, pausing a couple times to wander or flatten over the hole. It soon pushed past the rim and inside him, not very deeply, large hands spanning each ass cheek and kneading.

“Aaaah, god,” he sighed, legs already trembling and threatening to give out. He rose up on his elbows a bit, trying to look over his shoulder but didn’t see much.

“I take it you like this?” asked Endeavor peeking around the curve of his thigh, then returning to his work once again shoving his tongue into an insanely intimate place like it belonged there.

He hummed and let his eyes slip shut, rim burning ever so slightly while it stretched around the intrusion. “Y-yes, I fuckin’ love rimming. Nobody ever - ah!- does it to me, though…”

“What a shame,” said Endeavor between thrusting his tongue inside him. “Hey, get me the lube,” he continued, releasing a butt cheek and probably holding out his hand expectantly.

Hawks had to think a moment where he’d left it, mind fuzzy and light. He actually had been “trained” to use his feathers during sexual situations but it never went all that well. More often than not he was too distracted and overwhelmed to really use them correctly. It took him a long moment to locate the lube and move it via feathers, though Endeavor did successfully snatch it out of midair.

Predictably, a large, slicked finger slid in alongside the tongue and he probably would’ve hissed if it didn’t feel so amazingly strange. The tongue moved inside him as the finger searched and thrust, promptly sending pleasure radiating warmly through his canal. His legs started trembling more violently as he moaned into his pillows, probably drooling all over them, clutching the sheets like an anchor.

As his mind struggled to grasp the reality of Endeavor actually rimming him unprompted, definitely something he thought would remain a distant fantasy at best, the sensations compounded quickly. The more he accepted it was truly happening, the more his body seized up, already rhythmically clenching around the combined tongue and finger. When a large, hot hand curled around his dick and started stroking, he cried out, locking his legs in place with his last remnants of control.

He tried forcing words out through the swelling pleasure but only managed to babble nonsense, moaning and crying out in turn. Endeavor merely hummed in response and the vibrations rippled through him, making him clamp down on his probing tongue on the first sudden rush of euphoria. The feeling lulled for a second before surging through him in waves, knocking out every sense save vague feedback from his feathers.

“Mmm good boy,” praised Endeavor, voice floating through the haze as he stroked and fingered him through the orgasm.

Just before his legs gave out, Endeavor slid a hand up under him, one easily spanning his chest and lifting him. Another display of strength that left Hawks feeling even more blissed out and boneless. He surrendered to it, letting his head fall back onto Endeavor’s shoulder as he caught his breath. It took a moment to register that his massive cock was wedged between his butt cheeks, throbbing once when he wiggled against it.

Endeavor thrust shallowly, just a slight grind, and sighed. “You sure you can handle this?”

“Only one way to find out,” he mumbled, still feeling spectacularly loose and amused at the porn worthy question.

Making a characteristic, vaguely disapproving sound, Endeavor felt around for the lube anyway. He moved Hawks forward slightly before applying more and lining up. It still seemed like he weighed nothing as Endeavor manipulated him easily over his lap. Slight pressure was all it took for his cock to slip inside Hawks’s sore hole, and he barely had a chance to whine before the whole thing slammed home.

The burn came on slowly, relaxation putting him on a delayed feedback loop. He whined again and squirmed, crying out as the action caused an immediate spike in pain. Exhaustion kept him from actively refocusing the pain into pleasure, but his system would catch up soon enough, trained by numerous past encounters. Idly he thought that he missed being tied up or spanked, something he would never get to experience with the most amazing man to grace his life.

When his wings folded in he realized they had flapped out and were still trembling slightly. Endeavor shushed him, petting down one and remaining still while he adjusted. Soon he gave one slow grind and Hawks swallowed the sound crawling up his throat, covering his mouth just in case.

He didn’t ask if Hawks needed him to stop, probably trusting he would use the safeword, which quite frankly he kept forgetting. This was not a day he’d consider using it anyway. Endeavor did thrust into him carefully, though, mindful of his body’s feedback, standing in contrast to his overeager teenage self. Time lost meaning as he simply took in the sensations, bowing his back a bit when the burn started numbing a path towards pleasure. Endeavor always took him on the best rides, he thought with a slight smirk.

Maybe minutes passed, maybe an hour, he didn’t know. Suddenly, he was hard again and being pressed to the sliver of window peeking out from the curtains. Bracing himself against the glass and grabbing fistfuls of fabric, he exhaled harshly as Endeavor started moving again. His dick pressed up against the cold glass and he gasped, heat blazing enough behind and inside him that it chased away any chill.

“I wanted to do this from the second I saw where you shoved this bed,” confessed Endeavor, right into his ear. “Put you on display… do you think anyone will see?”

Hawks let out a shaky laugh, dropping a hand to his cock and stroking almost distractedly. “God, I hope not. Windows… have a coating.”

“Too bad,” he said, emphasizing the last word with a thrust and biting his ear gently just above the piercing. “You would make the best view.”

Looking down at the drop between his building and surrounding ones, he enjoyed the feeling of freefall he associated with dizzying heights like that. Nobody had ever fucked him up against a window and he felt like that needed to be a more regular occurrence. He leaned his head forward until it was resting on the cool glass and sighed, trying to stroke himself faster but lost in the distracting sensation of being split open on a human furnace.

Sweat started slipping down his body as he was pressed more firmly against the glass by the increasingly strong thrusts, large hands holding his hips steady as he trembled. He knew his wings were in the way but Endeavor didn’t seem to mind, rubbing his cheek against one and humming when it ruffled in response. The feedback rippled down his spine and made him clench around the giant, blazing cock buried in him on an upstroke. Endeavor hummed again and increased the pace to a borderline careless degree.

He didn’t care. It was just the kind of treatment he wanted, punishing and overwhelming, pushing him towards a grand finale that would hopefully knock his brain offline for a little while. Fingers slid over the side of his face and pressed incessantly at his lips. He let them in without much thought, muffled sounds slipping out around them as they pried his mouth open.

“I want to hear you,” growled Endeavor, words strained tight under his effort. “Sing for me, little bird.”

It was a cheesy line but it pushed the right buttons. Hawks obeyed the command without hesitation, finally letting some honest, loud noises tumble out of him. He cried out enough that his voice grew hoarse, nowhere near as pretty as singing but forced from a place he usually kept under control. Not that he would admit that to anyone. Despite boasting otherwise, he did have decent self-control. Endeavor apparently had little issue shattering it at will and that knowledge sent a warm rush of satisfaction racing through him, eventually settling in all the right places.

Working his cock as quickly as he could, he gasped as the sensations swelled. He clamped his eyes shut and groaned when the first wave hit him, pleasure hovering over pain. Hot cum spilled over his hand and he cracked his eyes open enough to see it sluice up over the glass, painting it with ribbons of thick fluid. Between that and his canal clenching around his dick, Endeavor soon followed, groaning in a way that made Hawks shiver as he pulsed deep inside him.

The welcome feeling of warmth blossoming in him ebbed off far too quickly, but the aftershocks lingered. Delicious little tremors ran through him, making him twitch while his body sagged against Endeavor, spent. Endeavor hadn’t gone soft yet, still buried in him to the hilt, and he worried he may want a second round. The man sure was virile no matter his age.

Thankfully, he pulled out after a moment and Hawks deflated even more, mercifully held up by strong hands. Fluids leaked out and he whined, a much more pathetic sound than he’d anticipated. The ache settled in slowly as his nerves calmed down and he wasn’t quite sure he could take another session without rest.

“Damn feathers,” he muttered crossly as Endeavor cradled him and pulled back the covers.

“Hmm?” He looked down at Hawks, expression charmingly focused and a touch confused.

“I’m- I need some rest,” he said, pausing while he was laid down against the soft sheets. He gestured vaguely at his wings. “Growing new ones is exhausting… plus I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

“Sorry,” said Endeavor, petting his arm. “Rest. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Hawks nodded and snuggled against the covers with a sigh that felt like it released the last shred of his energy. He dozed off waking only slightly when Endeavor returned to clean and cover him up. When he woke from his coma-like slumber some undetermined amount of hours later, he was curled up against Endeavor. He sat propped up against the headboard with an arm around Hawks, staring out the windows with a serene expression.

It was another simple, peaceful moment that he would cherish, and he made sure to commit it to memory before nuzzling further into the warmth.

Endeavor gazed down at him with a soft smile, face still smooth and decidedly younger. “You were snoring,” he said, rubbing soothing circles on his back close to his wings.

“Was not,” he retorted with a laugh then shivered when fingers skirted too close to the base of one wing.

He considered telling him to stop but was curious if Endeavor would continue touching them. Letting his own hands wander, he was pleased to discover Endeavor was mostly naked under the covers. He guessed it was afternoon by the waning light in the room, and he was famished, but exploring Endeavor’s body was a worthy priority. The man was a work of art that deserved proper appreciation.

“Why did you even put these on?” he complained when his hand ran over boxers.

“Force of habit.” Endeavor’s hand travelled down to his lower back and paused. “Do you want dinner? I can cook.”

“God, that’s so fuckin sexy,” he said, rubbing his face against Endeavor’s toned abdomen. “You know my secret, that the path to my heart is through my stomach.”

“Is that so?” asked Endeavor, pressing one brief kiss to his head before pulling away. “Go clean up.”

He offered his best pout as Endeavor left the room. By the time he made his way into the kitchen, freshly showered and also dressed in nothing but boxers, dinner was just about ready. Endeavor shooed him out of the kitchen and he waited sprawled out on the couch, watching some action flick. During the car chase, Endeavor started bringing everything out for one of their traditional coffee table meals.

They ate and watched the mindless movie, engaging in small talk that felt tragically natural. He jolted slightly when Endeavor’s warm hand wandered up his back and around one wing base like it was drawn there by a magnet. His fingers brushed the delicate skin and Hawks tried to suppress the shudder it evoked.

If Endeavor noticed they were sensitive, he gave no indication beyond continuing to gently explore the area. He stopped before Hawks got too worked up, wrapping him up in a nearby blanket and depositing him on the couch. Handing him the remote and ordering him to rest, Endeavor cleaned everything up. Shifting against the soft cushions and fuzzy blanket, Hawks listened to the unusual sounds of someone else using his kitchen.

When Endeavor returned he sat on the couch and gathered Hawks up against him, wrapping his arms protectively around him while getting settled. Warm, full, and content, he fell asleep again, comforted by the steady, strong heartbeat beneath his ear. The next time he opened his eyes it was dark and Endeavor was breathing so evenly he guessed he had fallen asleep too.

He tried not to make any sudden movements as he looked up at Endeavor’s face, witnessing it serene in slumber. The absence of the scar still surprised him a bit and he resisted the urge to reach up and feel the smooth skin. Instead he shifted ever so slightly and brought a wing closer to his face, inspecting a few pin feathers and rolling the casing of one gently between his fingers.

“So that’s how they grow in,” mumbled Endeavor above him.

Startled, he tipped his head back and met slivered eyes, still so bright in the darkness. “Yeah… I have to preen them as they get bigger.”

“How do you do that?”

Hawks blushed, looking back towards the casing he was testing. It wasn’t quite ready yet but he knew he could still strip it if he needed to, despite the sensitivity. The feathers grew amazingly fast and preening as they matured was a thing he’d learned early on. Nobody had ever helped him do it save his mother and guardian at the Commission. It almost seemed too private, though he’d read it was a common social behavior amongst birds. How that translated to him he didn’t know.

“Um, you have to remove the casing,” he said, moving to another one that had been there longer. As he rolled it, the casing started cracking and crumbling away. He did it slowly, face burning with heat while the new feather emerged. Smoothing his fingers over it, the shiny red vane expanded.

“Do you have to oil them too?” asked Endeavor, large fingers running up the back of his hand and over his own.

Pausing for a long moment, he internally debated hiding that fact. “Yes,” he finally answered, unwilling to explain that process any further. “How do you know that?”

Endeavor smirked down at him. “I watch nature shows sometimes.”

He ducked his head, hoping it was too dark for Endeavor to see his blush, then haltingly moved his hand towards another pin feather he thought was ready. The fingers pressed down more delicately than he thought them capable of and he watched as the casing crumbled away under the careful pressure. The sensation of someone else’s fingers brushing over the new vane sent an unexpected though subtle thrill racing through the wing then down his spine. He mostly stifled the gasp, casually covering his mouth as he guided the hand to another casing.

Two more casings cracked apart under Endeavor’s mindful work and each time he ran his fingers over the feathers Hawks felt the ripples of pleasure, sensitive nerves singing under the attention. He knew he was breathing more heavily, hand still over his mouth but unable to stem the small noises slipping out.

“You’re trembling,” said Endeavor, redirecting his hand to rub his bare arm. “Is it too much?”

He shook his head, hand slipping from his face. “No, it feels good. Strange, but good.”

Endeavor hummed and continued while he let his eyes slip shut, concentrating on keeping his reactions under control. Despite his efforts, he was practically vibrating against Endeavor after he freed a few more feathers, fumbling a hand out when he reached a super sensitive one that wasn’t ready.

“Sorry.” Endeavor withdrew the hand and shifted against him.

Whether it was on purpose or not Hawks couldn’t tell as Endeavor kissed his neck and brushed over the new feathers. His gasp rang loud and clear that time and the arm under him moved, massive hand splaying across his lower back and pressing their bodies more flush. Kissing his way up to Hawks’s mouth, he sealed their lips together, impatiently shoving his tongue inside. The kiss was fluid and deep, combining with fingers deliberately brushing over delicate nerves and causing warmth to kindle deep in his gut.

Once again Endeavor was effortlessly pushing him past his normal boundaries. His body didn’t know what to do, foreign sensations making his limbs feel shaky and weak. It was that interesting space between pleasure and overstimulation that usually took far longer to settle in and definitely under different circumstances. He squirmed, wiggling against a wall of muscle, felt a whimper climbing up his throat.

The hand mercifully moved but settled back into the small feathers around the base of a wing, skirting down around the area where they gave way to skin. Endeavor rubbed carefully as he grinded slowly against him, and through jolts of pleasure he finally registered they were both hard and straining against their underwear.

Still kissing languidly, Hawks felt himself overheating under the blanket, temperature creeping up around them and robbing him of what little breath he could suck in. He tore his mouth away briefly, shoving the blanket off of them, gasping as cool air hit his exposed skin. Endeavor grabbed his chin and forced his face back towards his, picking up where he was interrupted. His fingers worked back up the base towards the newly freed pin feathers and pet them, so hot Hawks gasped again.

Finally pulling away to catch his breath, Endeavor looked down at him, eyes glazed over and hands still busy. One drifted down to grasp a butt cheek and he let out a shuddering moan, hands slipping on sweat slicked pectorals while Endeavor tugged his underwear off. He lifted Hawks onto his lap and he flapped his wings out, struggling to sit upright.

“E-Endeavor-san, I can’t-”

“Shhh,” he soothed, petting up a thigh and over his hip. “I’m not going to penetrate you.”

He gazed down at him, confused, wings holding him up more than his back, rutting against the poorly contained bulge in Endeavor’s underwear. Sitting up slightly, Endeavor reached around his back and started fondling both sensitive wing bases with light but deliberate caresses.

The sound that punched out of him was embarrassing, devolving quickly into a moan, then a whine. It was obvious he knew what effect it was having on Hawks, skillful fingers somehow knowing how to apply just enough pressure so that he didn’t send him into an overstimulated fit. Still it was close enough that he pitched forward, bracing himself on Endeavor’s chest while his arms threatened to give out. Endeavor grinded up against him and he sighed. He continued groping around the bases, trailing up then out to the feathers, brushing gently, then moving back down. Hawks rut a few more times before finally collapsing against his broad chest, panting like he’d run a marathon.

Endeavor didn’t say anything, pausing briefly as Hawks trembled before resuming his work while slowly grinding up against him. He gave into every intense sensation, distantly registering that it was an excellent addition to their little affair. Nobody had ever touched him this way during sexual situations because he had never let them. Sure, they’d grabbed his wings for leverage or touched them randomly but not the bases and never the pin feathers.

He wondered if Endeavor understood how intimate the entire scenario was for him, and a large part of him wanted to keep that information to himself. No use in telling him anyway if their fling was over. Again. He almost laughed at how ridiculous the series of events were that brought them to that moment.

A few well placed brushes of Endeavor’s fingers scattered his thoughts and he rubbed his face against sweaty skin, growing hotter by the second. He didn’t know what kind of noises he was making but he knew they were tumbling out. His cock was trapped between their bodies, hard and leaking, and he wanted to sneak a hand between them but lacked the strength and coordination. The clever hands massaging his most delicate and sensitive areas were pushing him steadily towards a pinnacle, new and strangely addictive.

It made him feel overwhelmed and electrified as his nerves shot off signals like fireworks, a rare thrill for someone used to the elation of flying. The room was sweltering, sweat rolled down his flushed skin, hot breaths ruffling his hair, and their heartbeats thundered almost in tune. As the pleasure started ramping up with startling speed, he used the last of his strength to rise up on his arms and lean forward. Endeavor met him halfway, kissing him sloppily while fingers pressed into a tender spot just a little too hard.

Somehow, despite the onslaught of heightened feedback, he came gradually. Moaning directly into Endeavor’s mouth, he felt him smile against his lips as he grinded down desperately, dual sensations mingling and culminating. He squeezed his eyes shut, saw sparks flaring behind his eyelids, mouth slipping away from Endeavor’s as his head fell back down onto his chest. His cock pulsed hotly against Endeavor’s abdomen and he kept fondling his wings through the waves of pleasure.

It was simultaneously the most bizarre and intense orgasm he’d ever had. It tapered off like a dying storm, never really rolling to a complete stop since Endeavor’s hands never stopped moving. The sound “go” filtered in through his fuzzy mind while he drooled on tacky, scorching skin and he tilted his head up, vision swimming.

“Are you okay… Keigo?”

Hawks snapped his head up so quickly he got dizzy, swaying slightly. “W-what did you call me?” he stuttered. Panic threatened to flood out his hormone induced bliss and he knew his face was probably a perfect picture of shock.

“Hawks?” Endeavor gave him a concerned look with his oddly young face, finally moving his hands away from his wings. “What else would I call you?”

“I do have another name, you know,” he mumbled, more crossly than he intended. Stubbornly pushing himself upright on shaky arms he sighed in relief when cool air washed over his skin.

“Tell me what it is then,” said Endeavor, grabbing his hips and rutting up against him with a sigh of his own.

Even though he knew he could trust Endeavor with that secret, he shook his head. “What made you fixate on my wing bases all of a sudden?” he asked, hopefully redirecting the conversation. “You, uh… probably shouldn’t touch them anymore.”

“Do you always get aroused when they’re touched?”

Endeavor kept grinding leisurely against him, cock pressing up insistently between his ass cheeks, way too close to his sore hole. The underwear was doing little to contain it and he rolled his hips instinctively. The question barely registered as his gaze drifted to his cum pooling in Endeavor’s navel. He swiped a thumb through it, smearing it across dense muscle.

Without answering, he slid off Endeavor’s lap and between his legs. He watched Hawks go with a curious expression but didn’t ask what he was up to as he plucked a smaller feather from a wing. Carefully, he cut Endeavor’s underwear off, amused by the surprised sound he uttered. Normally, he would’ve just used his mind to control a feather and shred the fabric but he was still a little fuzzy from his orgasm.

His hands trembled as he bared every inch of skin to his greedy eyes, reattaching the feather and pulling the last bits of material away. The sight of the massive cock hovering over Endeavor’s abdomen, flushed, red, and leaking never got old. He lifted it, still amazed his fingers barely wrapped around it, stroked it once, admiring the way it twitched and leaked more.

“I’m gonna miss this guy,” he mumbled before he thought better, trying to memorize the way it looked in his hand while he slowly stroked it.

Endeavor snorted out a short laugh, moving a leg off the couch to give Hawks more room to work. “It’s just a cock,” he said dismissively, clearly not aware of how amazing his was.

“Spoken like someone not well acquainted with cocks,” he retorted, then leaned down and took Endeavor’s into his mouth.

Just like the last time he sucked it, he couldn’t fit much in his mouth. It was a little embarrassing and he forced it deeper, wondering if his gag reflex would revolt. Tears gathered in his eyes as it hit his uvula and tried pushing past it, almost gagging but valiantly suppressing it. He paused to let the sensation pass, feeling the tears slip down his cheeks. Cautiously, he sank down further, throat reflexively closing around the intrusion. Lifting up offered immediate relief but he sank back down again, masochistic tendencies overriding his better sense while he forced Endeavor’s cock even deeper down his throat.

It didn’t take Endeavor long to start tugging at his hair in warning but he didn’t pull off, enjoying the sharp little pangs of pain that mingled with the numbing strain. The temperature spiked yet again, rod jammed firmly down his throat nearly burning the sensitive canal as it pulsed and released searing cum that bypassed his mouth entirely.

He pulled away, coughing and gasping, high on a combination of success and loss of oxygen. It had been a hot minute since he’d deep throated someone and never a cock of that caliber. Endeavor made a pretty picture sprawled out before him, flushed and panting. He reached out for Hawks, yanking him up his body and framing his face in his hands, wiping away tear tracks with his thumbs.

“You are just full of surprises,” said Endeavor, low and gravely, kissing him on the mouth and retreating to display a charmingly dopey grin.

Hawks smiled back, dropping his head onto Endeavor’s chest when his hands slipped down and rubbed at sore muscles, mercifully avoiding his wing bases. “That really wasn’t that impressive,” he said, voice hoarse and throat slightly sore. “You just don’t have enough experience if you can say that.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” said Endeavor after a moment. “You, uh… you were the first person I ever bottomed for.”

Even though Hawks had suspected that, hearing it out loud filled him with an overwhelming sense of pride. He hummed in satisfaction, dick stirring merely from a few vague memories of that glorious night. If only the circumstances had been better.

A weary sigh sounded past Endeavor’s heartbeat and the hands rubbing idly at his back paused. “I never intended to tell you this, but since my idiot teenaged self already spilled my guts, I guess I don’t have much to lose. Afterwards… when I realized you had ditched me, even though I knew I deserved it…”

The silence stretched on and he looked up at Endeavor’s face, heart constricting at the pained, conflicted expression he witnessed. “Endeavor-san, you don’t have to-”

“I do,” he interrupted, glancing down at him, then away again. “I want to tell you how I felt. Don’t you think we both at least deserve to know that much?”

Hawks was starting to notice a pattern and it was now obvious Endeavor was hung up on the concept of what people deserved or didn’t deserve. It was likely a byproduct of his extensive hero career and the mentality that accompanied it, though he couldn’t say it had conditioned him similarly. His training hadn’t been as straightforward and his career not as long.

“I can hardly describe the disappointment I felt,” said Endeavor, gaze distant like he was slogging through the memories and plucking out relevant emotions. “That despair, honestly it’s so familiar it could be an old friend, always waiting to ruin everything good in my life. It really drove home the fact that I’ve been unbearably selfish and helped me commit to making amends.”

The knowledge he had helped solidify Endeavor’s decision to become a better man was another prideful moment, but it faded quickly at the remembrance that he was part of the problem and not the solution.

“I feel like I could spend the rest of my life apologizing to you and my family and it wouldn’t be enough.”

Hawks finally rose on his arms and sought out eye contact. He schooled his expression as nonchalant as he could manage, swallowing every pathetic feeling that tried bubbling up. “Please don’t apologize to me about this anymore,” he said, tone still annoyingly strained. “It’s not necessary.” He left out the part where he gushed about it being the most amazing experience of his life, though tragically brief.

Endeavor shook his head. “You act like you’re not worth it, but you are.” He brushed a thumb against Hawks’s cheek as an unbearably soft expression settled onto his face.

Stupidly, he wondered if Endeavor would continue to look at him like that even when they weren’t allowed to touch each other so intimately anymore. He also wondered if he would even truly like him if he got to know him better. It was always easier to like someone when you were swept up in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. Which they also didn’t technically have.

“I don’t really care about stuff like that,” he said and for the most part it was true. “Let’s just enjoy this as much as we can while we can.”

Surprisingly, they didn’t fool around much more after that but they were never far from each other. The finality of the situation sunk in heavier and heavier with each passing hour. Hawks clung to Endeavor every chance he got and he graciously tolerated it. He had no idea if the man even liked cuddling in the first place but never bothered asking.

When they woke the next morning, he immediately noticed the scar slashed down the side of Endeavor’s face. He was still asleep, expression abnormally relaxed and familiar, and Hawks felt the tears welling up in his eyes. His quiet sobs eventually woke Endeavor and he gathered him against his warm body, petting soothingly at his hair and back.

There was no morning sex but also no awkwardness at breakfast. He was weepy the entire time, too sad to even properly apologize for the pathetic display. It helped a bit that Endeavor looked just as sad at times but the comfort he offered felt somewhat hollow, like he too was struggling to process the end to their affair.

Eventually they stood facing each other, Endeavor packed up and ready to go. His work had surely piled up and he couldn’t decently afford to stall much longer, but he didn’t budge a centimeter, staring down at Hawks like he was trying to beam his thoughts directly into his head. Tears were still slipping down his cheeks but he didn’t care.

“Endeavor-san,” he started, at a loss for words but desperate to fill the silence with something. Farewells were customary and therefore programmed into him anyway. “Goodbye,” he finished, feeling the weight of the word as it passed his lips.

Before he could turn away, Endeavor grabbed his hand, startling him.

“Thank you,” he said, with that soft look that chipped away at Hawks’s heart. “I… I’m going to miss you.”

Hawks stared back despite feeling the urge to look away. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?” He forced the statement out, hoping Endeavor caught the implications that he was totally fine with teaming up still. He wondered if he would be brave enough to actually say so in the future if the gulf between them widened any further.

“Okay,” answered Endeavor, but it sounded oddly resigned.

And then he was gone. When the door to his private lobby closed, Hawks finally let himself collapse. He sunk to his knees and sobbed bitterly. Nobody was around to see so it didn’t matter how loud or ulgy he got, and he figured Endeavor expected it whether he heard it or not. He’d seen Hawks in a rare crying fit once already anyway. But he didn’t come back to comfort him and that was fine.

He expected that.

The next day his life went back to normal. He had his penthouse cleaned and fixed with money Endeavor’s agency directly wired him. Days and weeks passed and he fell back into his routine. Everything in his apartment felt like an odd mixture of comfortable and wrong. Sometimes when he was tired he even thought he saw Endeavor moving through dark spaces or in the kitchen.

Things had ended better that time, he often reminded himself. It hadn’t necessarily been on his terms but it was vastly better than a panicked flight. It had hurt but he’d faced it. Hell, it still hurt but that pain wouldn’t last forever.

Hawks knew how to adapt to just about any situation and he had faith he would figure this one out too. In the meantime he allowed himself some weakness and selfish thoughts. Maybe if he waited long enough or played his cards right, things would change.

A flicker of hope where there probably was none. But when Endeavor texted him for a casual interaction the third week he decided a little hope, as foolish as it was, couldn’t hurt.

Chapter End Notes

> It's done! 🙌🙌🙌 If you've stuck with me this far, THANK YOU!!! Kinda crazy to think a global pandemic hit while I was writing this. I'm glad that these guys finally had a chance to talk, though, and say their farewells. I have a little more planned for this series, but I may take a brief hiatus to focus on another AU. Hopefully, I can hop between the two but this series in particular is emotionally heavy to me, so breaks are good.

> Thanks again for reading, y'all are the real MVPs!! ♡♡♡

> Come scream about endhawks or bnha with me on twitter @specterpeach!

## Afterword

Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!