## Preface

The Beginning
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/23756473.

Rating:
  Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
  Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category:
  M/M
Fandom:
  僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Relationships:
  Dabi/Takami Keigo | Hawks, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Additional Tags:
  League of Villains as Family (My Hero Academia), Kid Fic, Babies, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Birthday Party, Supportive League of Villains (My Hero Academia), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, DabiHawks Week 2020
Language:
  English
Series:
  Part 2 of Tales of Little Tsubasa
Stats:
  Published: 2020-04-20 Updated: 2020-04-26 Words: 11,367 Chapters: 3/4

# The Beginning

by minatsukinoamayo, Rubien

Summary

> Settling into a life with child is not easy, but probably the most wonderful thing that ever happened in Dabi's life.

Notes

> Kii: Since little Tsubasa is too precious, we decided to write a bit more for this precious little family. The first promt "Fluff" of the DabiHawks Week 2020 just came in right. :3

> Again, this is based on the wonderful art of little Tsubasa made by Ada (@1950sHousewife_ on Twitter)! Thank you for the inspiration!

> This piece is going to have 3 chapters, the first focusing on Hawks, the 2nd on the League and the last will be about Dabi. We don't have the last chapter done yet, but have this for the fluff of it. 💖

> This is not beta-read at all, so I apologize for the mistakes you might find! orz

> I hope you'll enjoy it!

> tw: alcohol consumption, (sort of) post natal depression

See the end of the work for more notes

## The First Night

Tsubasa is surprisingly calm child. He simply stares at his parents with big golden eyes, the small hands grasping on Hawks’ shirt as the blond kisses his head and gently caresses him. He watches Dabi with curiosity and not the fear the raven-haired man is used to see in people when they first meet him.

But Tsubasa is simply watching him and when Dabi moves slowly closer to caress the little one’s cheek with his finger, Tsubasa giggles.

Dabi laughs, he can’t help himself.

“He likes you,” Hawks murmurs, the exhaustion slipping into his voice.

Dabi feels too drained and tired to fight the smile on his face. He nuzzles his jaw into Hawks’ temple. “You should sleep, little bird.”

Hawks knows he should, feels the tiredness pulling down his lids and weighing down on his limbs. The warmth and comfort radiating from Dabi’s body on which he snuggles up to and leans on heavily.

“But… What if he gets hungry?” Hawks mumbles. The sleepiness that starts to win over obviously makes it hard for him to produce words. “I need to feed him.”

“You can lie down for a bit with him,” Dabi rumbles softly. “He could definitely use some sleep after the long way to this world, don’t you think? I’ll prepare it in advance so we can feed him later.”

Hawks gives up the fight immediately which is another sign that he does truly needs some sleep.

Dabi gently guides him down so Hawks lies on his back, the little baby resting on his chest. The raven-haired man then pulls the blanket and covers the two loves of his life carefully. By then, Hawks is already asleep.

The little one cooes and giggles and clings to Hawks. Dabi watches him with a smile before he caresses the top of his small head once more, before silently leaving the room to head for the kitchen.

It’s an odd hour, but he isn’t surprised when he finds the Magician and Kurogiri in the kitchen, chatting over tea and gin.

He can’t help the sheepish smile when he sees them. Scratching the back of his neck, he approaches the kitchen counter, where Kurogiri is adding some honey to his tea. But he’s snatched away by Compress, who hugs him with a wide grin.

“There’s our brand-new father! Man, you look so happy, that’s almost creepy to see you like that!” Compress laughs.

“Fuck off,” Dabi growls, but the smile and the lack of bite shows that he doesn’t mean it at all. He even pats Compress back on the back as he mumbles a “Thank you” under his breath.

Kurogiri’s eyes form half-moons, so Dabi supposes he’s smiling, too. “Congratulations to your…?”

“Son,” Dabi supplies, unable to hide the wide smile that plays around his lips at the thought of the little drop upstairs.

Kurogiri hums in understanding and stirs his tea. “How are they doing?”

“Fine, I guess? Hawks fell asleep and I promised to make some baby food. But…”

“You have no idea how to do that,” Kurogiri names it without much ado.

He hates the blush that gives away his embarrassment. “Yeah…”

Neither Kurogiri, neither Compress comment on it but they do exchange an amused look. Compress then sits down and quietly sips his gin while Kuorigri moves to one of the cupboards and takes out a package of baby food powder and then brings a couple of bottled water.

Dabi watches him during the process. He knows in theory how to make baby food but for now he will let Kurogiri do the job. After all, the man did most of the care for Shigaraki when he was a kid.

“How come that you know how to make baby food? I thought….” Dabi blurts out loud, but doesn’t really dare to finish his sentence, because he knows Shigaraki has ears like a cat.

Kurogiri just chuckles. “Well, some kids are very picky when it comes to their favorite food.”

They exchange glances for a moment and Dabi needs to process the information he’s been presented with.

“You mean….?”

“Tomura-kun often woke up during the night and wouldn’t calm down unless I made him a ‘warm milk’, you know?” Kurogiri winks and Dabi can imagine the smile on his lips, even if he can’t see it.

He just raises his eyebrows and nods understandingly.

Compress sips on his gin with a mischievous smirk and Dabi feels the man watching him, as they wait for the boiled water to cool down to room temperature. “I always wondered why our boss used to have such a temper for the longest time. I guess boys do take a bit longer to grow up… especially if they are spoiled by their caretakers.”

Kurogiri just chuckles, not denying that he used to spoil Tomura when he was still a kid, and hands the bottle to Dabi. “It’s still a little too hot for the little one. Test it again in a few minutes.”

“You say little one, but... have you guys decided what’s the little guy’s name?” Compress asks curiously with a smile on his lips.

Dabi smiles as he shakes the bottle in slow, circling motions to cool it down quicker. Probably he’s not the best one for cooling it down, he thought, wondering why it took so long. “Tsubasa,” he replies, completely absent-minded.

“That’s a very sweet name,” Kurogiri replies in an amused tone and watches attentively as Dabi applies some of the formula to test the temperature.

He stares at the almost translucent drops on his dark, scarred skin and feels… nothing. He wipes it away, suddenly feeling a surge of anger flashing through him. He doesn’t want to show it though, so he turns away to leave.

But before he can storm off, Compress has already snatched the bottle out of his hand, rolled his glove up and tested it for him. “No reason to look so sour, punk. You’ve got a little audience to entertain upstairs.”

Dabi rolls his eyes to hide how awkward he feels. Compress eventually smiles and hands him the bottle. “I think by the time Tsubasa will need it, it will have cooled down to the right level.”

Dabi hums thanks and takes the bottle. It is hotter than he’d expected it to be but he supposes his son won’t need to feed straight away.

“When do you plan to introduce him to us?” Kurogiri asks curiously.

“Probably in the morning,” Dabi says from the door. “Once Hawks manages to close his eyes for more than a couple of seconds.”

“A birthday party!” Compress proclaims in excitement. Kurogiri places one hand on his shoulder to calm him down. It is the middle of the night after all.

Compress puts his hands over his mouth as if he realized his own mistake, but grins a second later with a thumb up. “Let me handle it in the morning! We’ll invite everyone.”

The magician seems excited about the prospect of a little party with their little family, but Kurogiri seems to catch up on the worried side glance Dabi shoots as Compress swirls to his seat again.

He puts a hand on Dabi’s shoulder and heads out with him, now earning a strange side glance for himself. Dabi blinks at him, as curious as he’s confused. “What’s this?”

“Do you plan on introducing him to your mother, too?” Kurogiri asks, so quietly that hardly anyone but Dabi could have heard it.

But instead of answering, he just shrugs off Kurogiri’s hand, shakes his head and makes his way back to his and Hawks’ room. And he definitely does not think about it any more.

When he returns to the room, Hawks is still soundly asleep. It’s another sign to how much he needed the sleep because, under usual circumstances, he would immediately get woken up by the sound of the door opening.

He is clinging on the babe in his arms, though, even in his sleep. However, Tsubasa, on the other hand, is very much awake. He’s trying to move, writhing and his tiny wings flipping under the blanket and soft coo noises are coming from him.

Dabi feels another smile growing on his lips, sinister thoughts immediately forgotten as soon as he sees the bright smile of his little boy. His boy , he thinks proudly. As quietly as he can, he walks to them and climbs into the bed. He sees Hawks’ hands bringing the little one closer and his shoulders tense. He opens the golden eyes, sharply, and relaxes again when he sees it’s only Dabi.

He does sit up however, carefully holding Tsubasa who lets out a chirp of complaint as he’s moved. Dabi chuckles and leans closer to his lover to give him a soft, chaste kiss.

“You really do need your sleep, will you finally admit it?” Dabi teasingly mocks him, wrapping his arm around Hawks to pull him closer.

But before Hawks can reply, his belly does it for him with a loud gurgling noise. Hawks stares at Dabi, blushing hard and they both burst out in laughter.

“Okay, okay, basic needs, I get it,” Dabi chuckles and smiles at Tsubasa who tries to reach for them, his face slowly turning sourer and sourer with each passing moment.

Suddenly, the boy starts squawking and crying, apparently highly displeased with something.

“Ho…. I guess you’re not the only one who needs his basic needs to be taken care of,” he laughs a little and hands the bottle to Hawks. “Here,” he blushes as he has to admit,” I just don’t know if the temperature is okay....”

Hawks smiles tiredly and holds Tsubasa slightly up, away from himself. It takes Dabi an embarrassingly long moment to realize his lover wants him to hold their son. Suddenly, he freezes, staring at the baby.

He is so very small and fragile looking, like if Dabi moved him too suddenly or too harshly, he would get hurt and that’s the last thing he wants.

The villain doesn’t feel qualified to hold something so precious, something so fragile in his arms.

His worries must have been written all over his face, because Hawks gently reassures him in a soft tone, as if he knows exactly what kind of storm of feelings is happening in the raven-haired head. “Don’t worry, you won’t hurt him.”

Dabi swallows the reply that he isn’t sure about that and instead, with shaky hands, reaches for their sobbing son. With utter care he takes the little crying bundle and cradles it into his arms, gingerly trying some rocking movements in a means to calm the little guy.

But he doesn’t calm down, he keeps crying and hiccuping and Dabi’s eyebrows wander up in worry. Hawks does a quick job to test the temperature of the bottle, deems it cool enough and take over the baby again.

Even though he’s in no way careful about it, Dabi can’t help the sense of loss he feels as Hawks takes over the light weight, but it doesn’t last long, as it’s replaced with an abundance of warmth and adoration when he sees how Hawks holds the little guy and brings the bottle with clicking noises to his mouth.

Big, fat, crocodile tears still run down the little puffy cheeks as he nibbles on his food. Dabi’s eyes wander, over Hawks’s arms, up his neck to the tired but unspeakably happy golden eyes.

Hawks’ stomach grumbles yet again and Dabi takes that as his cue to make himself more useful. “I’ll get something to feed my other little predator, too.”

His bird smiles and they exchange another quick kiss before Dabi gets up and leaves the room quietly.

The kitchen is empty now, Compress and Kurogiri must have already gone to bed. Dabi searches the fridge until he settles on ham and cheese and takes out toast. He prepares two toasts for Hawks and takes out a bottle of water as well.

When he is done, he takes the food back to their bedroom. He can hear Tsubasa’s crying as he is walking the hallway, loud and clear. The others who have rooms around them must be hearing it too but nobody comes out of their room yet.

When Dabi returns to their room, Hawks is sitting on bed, cross-legged, rocking the baby in his arms but the baby doesn’t seem to be calmed down by the action even though the bottle with which Hawks has fed him is almost empty.

The moment Dabi steps into the room, Hawks’ golden eyes snap to him. He speaks quietly but the panic is soaking into his voice. “I can’t calm him down.”

“Hey, shhh,” Dabi hushes, probably both of them. He runs his hand through Hawks’ hair while setting the sandwich on the nightstand. Then he reaches for the little one, taking him carefully out of Hawks’ arms to hold him against his chest. He uses his quirk, warming his body to the temperature Hawks always likes him to have in bed when he can’t sleep on cold winter nights.

Walking up and down the room, he hums a melody he remembers from his own childhood. His mother used to sing that song for him as well as for his younger siblings, so he had heard it thousands of times growing up. Even as he was older, it still calmed not only Shouto, but also him when he heard her singing at night in the room next door.

He smiles at one of the few fond memories of his past life and closes his eyes as he rocks Tsubasa, in his arms, resting his chin on top of the fluffy white curls.

Miraculously, with a few hiccups and sobs, the little one calms down. Not only that. Dabi can tell that he drifts off right away, because the small chest starts falling and rising regularly and calmly under his warmed up hand.

A wave of pride and a feeling of achievement washes over him and he opens his eyes, wanting to show off to his partner.

To his surprise, Hawks doesn’t seem to be happy or calmed down. He’s grabbing on his own hair anxiously, the golden eyes darting from Tsubasa to Dabi, dark circles under them making the gold even more prominent.

Before Dabi can ask what’s wrong, the smaller man speaks in a hushed, yet panicked voice. “How did you do that?”

“I-”

“Why didn’t he calm down with me? You moved him the same way I did! What did I do wrong? What kind of a father am I that I can’t calm my own-”

“Keigo,” Dabi moves closer to his lover, still holding their child with one arm, rocking him gently, while hugging Hawks around the shoulders with the other. Hawks stops talking and leans into the touch with relief and tears in his eyes. Gently, Dabi kisses his temple.

“You’ve done nothing wrong, “ he rumbles softly into the blond locks. “He just likes a bit of heat… and can you especially blame him for that?”

Hawks chuckles but it comes out more like a sob. He wipes away the tears with one hand but hugs Dabi’s waist with the other. He leans to the bigger man’s shoulder and gazes upon their son, his look softening.

“No.”

“Thought so,” Dabi mumbles into his hair, kissing blonde strands again. He out of all people can understand those doubts, the fear, the panic. He looks at Hawks, inspecting the dark circles under his eyes.

“You should really try to eat something and then sleep. I’ll take care of him, so don’t you worry. You’ll feel better afterwards.”

He can’t blame Hawks for the suspicious look his proposition earns him. He tries to give him a lopsided smile regardless of Hawks’ pout, that looks cuter than it has any right to look like on an adult man.

“Remember, I was the one who let the egg drop on the floor, not you,” he nudges Hawks’ shoulder playfully to cheer him up. “You do a better job protecting him than I do.” Years of smiling without wanting to help him to keep his smile in place to hide the bitterness behind those words, as he admitted the truth in what seemed like a joke.

“So really, don’t worry too much. Get some sleep and then you’ll be as amazing as always.” He still hates himself for blushing whenever something cheesy comes out, when he wants to tell Hawks how he feels.

Hawks smiles weakly, closing his eyes. “You’ll wake me up if something happens?”

“Yeah,” Dabi nods.

“Alright.” Hawks murmurs and kisses Dabi’s shoulders, only for the raven-haired man to pull him closer into a deep yet slow kiss.

When they break apart, Hawks doesn’t open his eyes but he is smiling as he lets out a shaky breath. Without opening his eyes, he reaches into their nest to grab one of the blankets, wraps it around himself as a burrito and curls down onto bed, his head resting on Dabi’s thigh.

His lover smiles and looks at the peacefully looking baby. He caresses Tsubasa’s cheek with his thumb and kisses the little guy’s forehead, chuckling softly when the baby chirps in his sleep.

His gaze moves to the other bird sleeping in his lap. He brushes his fingers through the blonde locks and smiles when the exact same chirp escapes through his lips.

He doesn’t think he’s ever been happier, and that’s what is making it even more surreal to him.

## The Family

Chapter Summary

> Little Tsubasa meets the rest of their little (found) family.

His two little birds doze for a few hours and by the time the sun rises again, Tsubasa is the first to squirm and coo, reaching with his tiny hands for Dabi.

He only napped a little, eyes falling shut from nothing happening. The peace of the night was good and chased some of his darker thoughts away. Tsubasa’s smile is just as bright as the morning sun that bathes Hawks’ hair in a golden gleam. He smiles down at the kid and at Hawks, pressing him a little closer and leaning down to kiss the little one’s forehead.

But Tsubasa stills suddenly and so does Dabi, confused at the sudden change of Tsubasa’s expression, wondering if it’s because he got so close, because he got scared. The little guy suddenly looks horribly displeased, but soon enough he has an idea what is happening. It’s only confirmed when Tsubasa suddenly bawls out loud.

Dabi’s nose wrinkles and he coughs at the horrible smell which fills his nose. He pulls away, unable to help himself. The sound makes the bigger bird in the bed stir, and open one golden eye.

“What?” Hawks asks sleepily.

Dabi doesn’t reply, doesn’t even need to. Hawks frowns and groans “Ew!” before hiding his face into the pillow, as if that could stop the smell.

Dabi laughs but immediately regrets it as it only makes him breathe more. He reaches for the baby.

“Wait,” Hawks groans some more, still sounding incredibly tired. “I’ll take care of him.”

“Nah, stay. I’ll do it. Sleep,” Dabi murmurs and tries to breathe as flatly as possible. He climbs out of the bed and takes the screeching bundle out of Hawks’ arms and takes him to the bathroom to do what has to be done.

By the time he’s done, the whole League is awake. Tsubasa’s young voice hits a frequency that goes just through every fabric and substance, especially through nerves. Dabi wonders if it’s part of his bird traits and if Hawks can strike such tones too, if he only wants to.

When Dabi gets out of the bathroom with a still crying kid, Kurogiri is already in the hallway waiting for them. He tilts his misty head and Dabi likes to imagine a soft smile in the black nothingness when he reaches for Tsubasa, gently patting his head.

“Will he be okay?” Kurogiri asks in a gentle tone which is really soothing for Dabi’s ears.

“I think so…” Dabi grumbles, rocking back and forth as he hopes to calm the little one down soon.

“Maybe you’ll want to come down into the living room in an hour or so?”

Dabi titls up one eyebrow. That was a weirdly phrased invitation for breakfast, even for Kurogiri’s standards. “Um… Okay?”

“And bring your companion, too. And the little one here, of course.”

Dabi smiles when he sees Tsubasa finally stopping to cry as he tries to figure out what the black stuff above his head is doing. He grabs for Kurogiri’s hand and giggles when it dissolves after a moment and reappears on his head again.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He chuckles and nods to Kurogiri as he passes him on his way back to their room.

Tsubasa complains with a very loud whine reaching for the mist man. Dabi chuckles and rocks the baby again. The golden eyes meet with his own and he stops complaining. Dabi feels something warm settling in his chest as he smiles at the babe.

Up until his son giggles and gently smacks on Dabi’s scarred skin. The man resists the urge to pull away and, instead, turns his head to kiss the tiny hand.

He finds his way back to their room.

Hawks is still sprawled in bed, now occupying most of it. He is lying on his stomach, his wings spread widely. And it’s a good thing to see because for the last couple of months, Hawks has been tense and nervous, his shoulders always strained with anxiety from expecting little Tsubasa.

It seems that, finally, Hawks is able to rest.

When Dabi walks into the room, he knows he is noticed because he sees Hawks’ lips curl into a smile. His left wing shifts to leave some space on the bed for Dabi. The raven-haired man sits down there and Hawks shifts closer to him.

Dabi places the now happy gurgling and giggling boy gently in their middle so he faces Hawks. He leans back on the bed, now stretching himself to get some of the tiredness out of his limbs. They feel heavy, just as his lids. Rubbing his eyes carefully, he groans.

“Will we ever get some sleep again? I mean real sleep, not naps…”

Hawks chuckles, very amused and as he boops Tsubasa’s nose playfully. “I don’t know what you mean. I slept pretty well thanks to you, daddy.”

Dabi looks down to his two boys, rolling his eyes when he sees Hawks grinning mischievously. “Don’t pull that card right now, chicken shit,” Dabi gnarls.

Hawks just laughs and then adds in mock offense, “Touya, watch your tongue in front of the kid.”

That comment gives him flashbacks to his own childhood. Their nanny used to say the exact same things after Fuyumi was born and he brought the new words he learned at kindergarten home. He huffs and just shakes his head, letting it go.

“Kurogiri wants us to come down in an hour or so. All of us.”

Hawks smiles, gently stroking Tsubasa’s cheek with the back of his fingers. His smile only widens when the baby giggles again.

“I suppose they wanna meet the new member of our family, don’t they?” he says.

“You barely let them near him when he was… you know.”

Hawks laughs and, careful of the little human between them, starts to sit up. “You can say he was an egg. It’s fine.”

“To you, maybe,” Dabi murmurs.

Hawks doesn’t reply but the raven-haired man knows he heard him. Instead, the former hero yawns, cuddling little Tsubasa closer in his arms. “It’ll be about time to feed this little guy anyway. And this gives me the opportunity to actually shower.”

Dabi chuckles. “Not that you are not stinky, because you are, but I need a shower too, you know?”

“Yes,” Hawks looks him up and down judgingly. “I am aware that you do. But I said it first, so it’s my turn first.”

His lover grins and leans closer. He places his hand on his thigh. “Too bad we can’t shower together. It would save us some time.”

Hawks pulls a face and jokingly says, “Ew! Don’t make such allusions right now. I am disgusting, you are disgusting and sex is to blame for all of this in the first place.”

Dabi’s eyebrows wander up his forehead, but he spares Hawks the “Really?” crossing his mind. Instead he sighs dramatically. “So, no sex while Tsubasa is a baby?”

Hawks smirks and Dabi isn’t really sure if he’s joking or not when he teasingly repeats, “No sex while Tsubasa is a baby.”

Dabi lets out a faked sob and pushes Hawks off the bed. “I demand separate bedrooms.”

The blonde laughs light-heartedly when he turns away, not without gently petting Tsubasa’s head once more. “We’ll see about that, big guy.”

“Do you want me to have blue balls?” Dabi complains, but Hawks only winks at him and giggles.

“They are already blue, I couldn’t tell...” Then he quickly leaves for the bathroom, knowing Dabi’s tempers too well.

Dabi just clicks his tongue in exasperation, sits up to pick Tsubasa up and lie down again with the little baby bundle on his chest. “I hope you don’t take after your dad in terms of being mean.”

Moments like these make him realize that being a father would be pretty hard, no matter how cute the tiny human was. Tsubasa’s laughter chases thoughts away quickly though, bringing a smile to his face.

Dabi holds him closer and kisses the top of his head, then sits up again to look into the brightly laughing face. “You’re lucky that I love you so much that I accept the fact that by the time of your first birthday, I will have the worst case of blue balls in villain history.”

Of course, Tsubasa doesn’t understand. He laughs and so does Dabi. He’s sure that if Hawks heard what he said, he would scold him.

Tenderly, Dabi holds him in one arm, reaches to his son and touches the tiny wings. They feel so soft that Dabi is worried if he touches them too rough, they will break. But Tsubasa doesn’t seem to mind. He is watching Dabi with gleeful, golden eyes and a toothless smile.

“You’re gonna bring so much shit into our life, aren’t you? Literally,” Dabi talks to him softly. When the little guy cooes, he laughs. “But I guess you are worth it, aren’t you, you fierce little beast?”

So very gently, he caresses the child, running his fingertips over Tsubasa’s back.

Hawks takes his sweet time but Dabi can’t blame him. It’s been way too long since they were able to take a shower or to have any time for themselves. He returns with hair still wet, drying them with a towel.

“I will spare you the comment on your bathroom time, because you really needed it,” Dabi announces with a taunting tone as he gets up and smirks down to Hawks. “Not-so-stinky-bird.”

Hawks pouts and let the towel rest on his shoulders so he can take over Tsubasa. He sticks out his tongue to Dabi while hiding Tsubasa’s face on his shoulder for the little one not to see the insulting gesture. “And you don’t just look like burned bacon, but you smell like it, too. So go and take a shower yourself.”

Dabi only wiggles his eyebrows. “You used to find my bacon tasty.” He covers his eyes, being just as dramatic as Compress usually is when bantering with Kurogiri. “I guess now that I’m a father I lost my sex appeal.”

Hawks just laughs and sits down on the bed, not gracing Dabi’s display with any comment, but talking sweetly to Tsubasa, completely ignoring the sorry tries to fish for compliments… or sex.

“Go cleanse yourself,” Hawks says in a sweet tone in Tsubasa’s direction.

Dabi does. Unlike his lover, he takes a quick shower. With the hot water roaming his body, he is finally ready to admit to himself that he feels old and he feels tired. He wouldn’t mind sleeping for the next couple of months. But he already knows that won’t be what’ll happen.

Fortunately, it doesn’t bump him too much.

He dries himself off as quickly as he took the shower. With clean clothes on, he feels like a new man. He disregards the dirty clothes into the laundry basket and returns to Hawks.

The bird got up at some point and uncovered the blinds from windows. He also moved to the edge of the bed where he can sit with the baby in his arms and sunbeams caressing them. The baby is leaned against Hawks’ shoulder, his little fist next to his mouth as the bigger birb is rocking him, humming a soft tone.

It’s an angelic view, literally… in a way. Dabi smirks and silently taps over to them, putting an arm around Hawks shoulder to kiss the top of his head. “You ready?”

Hawks looks up to him softly and bliss written all over his face. The expression pulls something in Dabi’s chest and he sighs. Hawks’ eyes seem to search for something in his face, before his smile becomes a little more serene. “You know I love you, right?”

In lieu of an answer, Dabi kisses him again, on the lips this time. “Of course. I love you, too.” He gently brushes the space between Hawks’ wings with his fingertips as if to emphasize his point. “And now let’s go downstairs, the others are probably already waiting for us.”

And so they put a Tsubasa in his first onesie for him to meet the rest of the family, finally and head downstairs.

Dabi grins at Hawks on their way down. “And you think you won’t cut anyone’s head off when they try to hold him.”

Hawks pouts a little bit again, holding Tsubasa even closer. “I think I will manage.”

Dabi is still laughing when they enter the living room, but stops as soon as he sees the scenery that unfolds in front of him, completely speechless. There are balloons and garlands everywhere, one saying “Happy Birthday” and another, obviously self-made one directly next to it “Tsubasa!”

There are neatly wrapped parcels on the floor and table and everyone is there, clapping and laughing - even Shigaraki who seems more annoyed than anything is silently applauding.

“Welcome to the family!” Toga cheers and jumps into their direction.

Dabi rubs the back of his neck nervously, wants to rumble and tell them that he said he doesn’t want anything big but then his look falls upon Hawks and Tsubasa. Hawks has a huge grin on his face and Tsubasa’s eyes wide with wonder as he looks at everything. And just like that, the words die in Dabi’s throat.

“Would you look at that, he’s so tiny!” Spinner proclaims.

“Can we take a closer look?” Kurogiri asks politely and with Hawks’ short nod, everyone takes a step to the winged duo.

“Hawks-kun, he’s got your eyes!” Twice says with excitement.

Compress laughs. “And white hair! Which means that I won the bet!”

“Were you guys taking bets on what hair-color he’d have?” Hawks asks amused.

“No, they made a bet about Dabi’s hair,” Toga waves her hand dismissively, leaning closer to the boy. “How can anything out of Dabi be so cute?”

“Yeah, I would expect him to look like a goth straight away,” Spinner adds to the teasing.

“Go to hell!” Dabi retorts, sounding angry with raised eyebrows, but a smirk on his lips.

“That’s not a way to talk with a child in the room,” Kurogiri points out, the glowing eyes softening around the edges and the mist blows slowly. “He looks a great deal like you Dabi.”

Torn between being pissed about getting scolded again and the joy of hearing that his kid takes after him. He can’t help it but smile though. “Thank you,” he mumbles and directs his smile at Kurogiri.

“Poor little thing, if he really takes after you… Let’s hope he gets a bit of Hawks’ prettiness,” Spinner blurts out.

The smile on Dabi’s lips dies out in an instant and he opens his mouth to retort, but is cut short at after merely getting out, “Fu-”

“Dabi, please,” Kurogiri pleads sharply, but strikes another tone right away. The dark man reaches out for the little one and asks in a very soft voice, “Would you allow me to hold him?”

Dabi can see the hesitation on Hawks face and he wants to say something, but Hawks is already smiling and handing Kurogiri the wiggling little baby. He sees the happiness on Hawks’ face and the gentle way in which Kurogiri holds him and the others gather around Kurogiri to see more of the little guy. He smiles, despite the little twist in his chest.

Dabi was never one to take pictures, definitely not of himself. But right now, he wants to reach into his pocket for his phone and take one. Hawks is still close to their baby, and Kurogiri holds Tsubasa like he is the most precious treasure in the world. Toga’s head is on the same level as Tsubasa and she is looking at him fondly. Twice is right behind her, his hands on her shoulders and his whole body is vibrating with excitement. Spinner is grinning like an idiot on Kurogiri’s right and Dabi can see Compress’ hand on the small of Kurogiri’s back, telling the others how cute little Tsubasa’s cheeks are. Shigaraki is the furthest one of them but even he is watching the little boy with gentle eyes and even softer smile.

They are all smiling, connected over this perfect little human which somehow Dabi brought to this world.

In the end, the raven-haired man doesn’t reach for it. Whatever happens, he doesn’t want to miss a second.

“Hello, Tsucchan,” Twice speaks in a quieter voice than he’s ever heard him use.

“Welcome home,” Compress ads and rests his head on Kurogiri’s shoulder.

“And you’re okay with this?” Kurogiri asks, facing Hawks. The former hero doesn’t even ponder a second, he smiles so brightly at Kurogiri that it’s almost blinding for Dabi.

“Of course. This is the best family I could wish for. Thank you, guys.” Hawks gives them the most radiant smile Dabi has ever seen on the former villain. It takes his breath away and he knows that if he only could, he’d probably cry right now.

He doesn’t know how or why, but somehow Toga seems to know. She pats his shoulder from behind. “There, there. Now that’s a proud dad.” She gives him a crooked smiles and Dabi can only huff, shaking his head.

“Shut up, freak.” It makes her grin.

They continue their little festivities. Everybody gets to hold little Tsubasa at least once, before they proceed to have a feast of a breakfast, prepared by Kurogiri for them to celebrate. And they do. It’s a nice little gathering and Dabi can’t do much but smile throughout it.

At least not until Tsubasa gets tired and starts to grouch and whine. It’s their cue to end the party and the others understand, letting them go without any comments.

So Hawks and Tsubasa take the baby food Kurogiri prepared for them and retreat to their room upstairs.

He holds the door of the room open for Hawks for which he receives a chaste kiss to his cheeks. As he is closing the door behind them and he is sure Hawks can’t see him, he smiles. He follows Hawks into the bed and sits behind the man.

He hears Hawks hum contentedly as he hugs his lover’s belly and rests his chin on the blond’s shoulder, watching the other man feed their son.

“You know…” Hawks starts and immediately pause. Dabi doesn’t press it but tightens his arms around the man until he feels Hawks lean into him and continue. “I actually hope that he will look like you.”

Dabi’s breath hitches and he tilts his head to look into Hawks eyes. Hawks looks down to their child, eyes so warm and full of love that he really wishes he could cry.

“Wh- Why?” He asks, not really able to believe anyone could want that.

“Why?” Hawks laughs as if it’s the clearest thing in the world and looks at Dabi with a tender smile on his lips. “Because I love you.”

Dabi swallows the useless sob, but he reaches for Hawks face to hold it in place as he places a tender kiss onto his soft lips.

“I love you, too,” he whispers only for Hawks to hear.

## Doubts

Chapter Notes

> Kii: It wouldn't be us, if there wasn't at least a bit of angst. :x So here's our contribution for DabiHawks Week 2020 Day 7: Angst.

> But of course with little Tsubasa, our daddies can't be too angsty for too long. :x

> It's not beta-read, but I hope you enjoy this! Let us know what you think!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

They settle into an easy routine, soon. Well, not exactly easy, but they get used to it. Tsubasa is a bright child, smiling and laughing a lot, making everyone around him smile, too. He’s a light for the whole League and everybody very much enjoys having him around.

They care about the little guy, all of them. Even Shigaraki, who always keeps somewhat of a distance, always has an eye on the child whenever they bring Tsubasa down to spend time together with the others.

After the first nights, Hawks stops crying and panicking with a lot of reassurances and help from Dabi and the others. Dabi feels great relief on the first night when Hawks falls asleep on his shoulder with their baby on his arm, leaning on Dabi without having shed a single tear. It’s not his merit, he knows that. Kurogiri had spent most of the day explaining and showing them stuff and all three of them were exhausted and tired, Tsubasa being the first to fall asleep, with Hawks drifting off soon after him.

Dabi can’t sleep so easily, thoughts constantly running through his mind. He often wonders if his mother also had such troubles with him or if she had also cried at night when nobody was watching. He still hasn’t talked to her, despite Kurogiri’s nagging. There is enough nagging him… The frequent comments of the others and their surprise about how something so cute and adorable could have been set into the world by him… The lack of comfort he could bring to Hawks when he was crying again, despite being the kindest and sweetest father Dabi knew…. Or just the white roots of his hair, which he hadn’t died in too long, reminding him of how much of a failure he could be.

Those thoughts are nagging at him yet again and only relent when dawn was already breaking, and Hawks stirs again, just as he is about to drift off. He blinks, confused and tired, but smiles when he sees into the gentle gold of Hawks’ eyes.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he whisperes and kisses Hawks’ forehead.

Hakws groans loudly, his hand finds Dabi’s shoulder, and he pushes him away. Dabi forces out a chuckle even though he feels something in his chest aching at the gesture. He wishes he could shake those feelings away. He’s never been the sensitive one.

“Five more minutes,” Hawks mumbles and shifts on the bed, hugging the pillow closer. The blanket slides down his waist, revealing the sweet ass in boxers.

Dabi glances towards the cradle next to their bed. Tsubasa is still soundly asleep.

Nervously, the raven-haired man touches the presented butt, gently stroking it in the way he knows Hawks used to love it on lazy mornings. His bird grumbles and his leg moves more up, revealing more of the ass.

“Dabi,” Hawks murmurs into the pillow.

“Hm?” the said man smiles and squeezes teasingly. Hawks groans but moves his hand to smack Dabi’s away.

“Tsubasa’s here, what’re you thinking?” he hisses quietly.

Dabi catches himself, letting out a steady breath instead of having his breathing hitch. His hand slides up to Hawk’s chest, over the shirt of course, and holds him a bit closer, warming his body up in the way he knows Hawks loves it. He kisses the back of Hawks’ head chastely and holds him close. He breathes through the twisting ache in his chest.

“Nothing,” he murmurs, hoping Hawks can sleep a bit more.

Hawks lets out a deep breath with relief at the more innocent treatment. He closes his eyes again and after a few minutes and more of the warm hands roaming his body, he falls asleep once more.

When he does, Dabi feels free enough to gulp loudly. His hands are still shaking as he leans on them while getting out of bed. He walks to the cradle, just to make sure that their son is still sleeping and then with a heavy weight on his chest, he leaves their bedroom. Once outside, Dabi licks his lips and hides his face into his palms. He hopes it will calm him down, whatever is going on in his mind. But it doesn’t. He is still alone with his thoughts about being a horrible father, especially after what just happened…

He takes another deep breath as he walks down the stairway and heads to the kitchen. The windows are already open and the air is chilled, but smells like flowers and spring. Kurogiri must be already up. Dabi finds him in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. He gives the tall man a lopsided smile as he passes by him to get everything to prepare the formula for Tsubasa.

Kurogiri greets him with his half-moon eyes, indicating a smile. “I see you’re up early. Quite the fresh father.”

Dabi huffs, putting some water into the electric kettle. “Yeah…”

He ignores the way Kurogiri fixates him with his eyes and goes on about those routines which he had gotten used to all too quickly.

“Tsubasa sleeps really well. I was worried he’d cry through the night, but he doesn’t,” he babbles, not really knowing why. Something about the way Kurogiri looks at him makes him nervous.

“That’s good,” speaks the black fog.

“Fuyumi was like that. She drove our mother crazy.”

Kurogiri just hums and Dabi has a feeling like he has said too much.

“Hawks is probably gonna wake up soon. I’ll get this upstairs,” he says, holding up the bottle with the formula.

He sneaks around Kurogiri, not even waiting for his reply. He feels uneasy, the bottle in his hands still feels too warm, but he can’t really tell. He will have to ask Hawks to check on the temperature. Another thing he can't do… He comes to halt in front of the door to their bedroom, staring down at the bottle. He couldn't take care of their child if he was alone with Tsubasa.

He shakes that thought off, taking in another breath before he opens the door, making sure he’d smile as he enters.

Hawks is more awake now, he is dressed up in casual, home clothes, sitting on the bed with Tsubasa in his arms. He is gently cradling the baby in his arms, rocking forth and back slowly, humming a soft melody. There is a small smile on his lips. He still looks tired but when he looks up at Dabi, the smile only widens.

However, it does nothing to ease the heavy feeling on his chest. On the contrary. Hawks looks so beautiful and gentle with the baby. Dabi however…. With his staples, with his rough, scarred skin, with his clumsy hands.

Hawks would be much better off without him. The thought makes him smile, even if he doesn’t really understand it. But he cannot not smile, seeing Hawks in that ethereal beauty of his. So he heads over, holding out the bottle for him to take as he leans down to press another kiss onto the top of Hawks’ head.

“There you go,” he whispers, as Hawks takes it from him, resting the baby on his forearm so easily, applying some of the formula on his wrist to check the temperature.

“Thank you,” the blonde smiles up to Dabi and winks at him, propping Tsubasa up to feed him.

Dabi watches them for a moment, enchanted by Hawks’ beautiful smile and the melody he has taken on from him. Something in the tone Hawks strikes makes him bite his lower lip a little, as memories are conjured. Memories of his mother crying as he hugs her baby close, unaware of her other child standing in the doorway, watching her.

“Are you hungry?” Dabi asks, trying to get away from his own thoughts.

“Yeah,” Hawks replies in the notes of his song.

Dabi nods, watching Hawks for another moment as he watches Tsubasa. He doesn’t feel like he’s part of the picture, and still he says, “I’ll go and get something for you.” It’ll probably not be him, because Kurogiri is downstairs. He’ll probably do breakfast - not Dabi.

This doesn’t make him feel much better. Does Hawks truly need him? Does Tsubasa? What exactly can he offer the child? He can’t even check the bottle by him himself. Now that Hawks has the League, Dabi can’t help but feel like the fifth wheel.

He hides his face from Hawks but, fortunately, the blond seems to be absolutely focused on the baby in his arms.

He walks downstairs. Kurogiri is still preparing the breakfast and when he sees Dabi, he tilts his head slightly in confusion. He doesn’t say anything however and lets Dabi collect bacon and eggs on a plate along with a piece of toast.

He throws Kurogiri an apologetic look. “If there’s one thing I can do it’s run errands. The mother hen is hungry.” He tries to sound joking, but he has a feeling like he can’t fool Kurogiri with that.

But if there’s one thing to rely on, it’s Kurogiri’s politeness. He doesn’t comment on it, and he doesn't do anything either when Dabi leaves the kitchen again without another word.

It's just another day that passes by in its usual way. After Hawks has his breakfast, they get ready and go downstairs. Toga and Twice do a lot to entertain Hawks and Tsubasa, it’s heartwarming to see. He doesn’t mind the little jabs Spinner and Twice throw at him in a probably brotherly manner. He knows he looks disgusting and it’s a miracle that he has a hand in bringing something as beautiful as Tsubasa into the word, but they do a great job to remind him anyway.

Spinner, Kurogiri, Compress and Shigaraki leave at some point to do some business, and it’s another day he stays behind. They tell him to take care of his son and that it’s okay, but Toga and Hawks are already playing with the little guy, and he feels like all he can do is to sit in the back and watch.

When they come back, Kurogiri makes dinner. When he goes into the kitchen to ask if he can help, Kurogiri tells him that he’s not needed here, so Dabi just nods and returns to the living room. He feels a bit awkward, but squats next to Hawks, who clicks and chirps like Tsubasa. They share a language Dabi doesn’t understand, but the smile on their faces tell him they’re happy.

“He’s so beautiful,” Hawks says softly without tearing his gaze away from the child.

Dabi chuckles, ignores the lump in his throat. “That’s because he looks a lot like you.”

“Really lucky on that part!” Toga giggles.

By this point, he’s used to keeping his smirk in place. “Sure. And even if he was looking like me, he’d be better off than being on blood bags half of the time,” he bites back, ruffling Keigo’s hair as he walks by.

“Fu-” Toga starts, but catches herself immediately. Dabi guffaws, but only for a moment. He hates himself for being nothing but spiteful.

So he turns to Hawks with a gentle smile. “I’ll go upstairs for a bit, or do you need anything?”

“We’re good,” Hawks replies, giggling a little at a funny face Tsubasa makes. Dabi leaves without another word.

Upstairs, he knows it’ll be some time until dinner is ready. Hawks won’t come upstairs. He looks at their conjugal bed, a little bit wistful about the nights they’ve used to spend, blissed out and all about each other. His eyes wander to Tsubasa’s cradle, and he can’t help the thought of being useless in all of this.

He loves them, both of them. More than his own life. But they’d be off so much better without him. He can’t make sure the food is good for his son, he doesn’t know how to play with him, he can’t help his most beloved being on earth at all. He is useless.

Dabi swallows the lump in his throat. He knows what he needs to do. Before he can change his mind, he heads to the wardrobe and retrieves an old duffle bag without thinking much about it. Some clothes fit into it, a pair of shoes, a towel, too. It’s more than enough to get by for a few days. He had done well without all this, so long ago.

He zips the packed duffle back and hangs it up the hanger on the back of their door, where some bathrobes and lingerie which Hawks has not used in ages were still hanging, abandoned. He smiles at the memory.

Kurogiri calls for dinner, and he just leaves everything there, on the hanger, closing the door behind him and joining them for dinner once more.

He eats only a little, just as he always does. He sits there with the others as they keep on chatting and being their usually happy selves. After the dinner comes the usual bonding time in the living room. Before Hawks became a member of their little gang, Dabi rarely spent time there with them. But now he is a part of it, so he goes there, once more. He stays, watching them from his corner as he usually does, only until Spinner and Shigaraki are too lost in the game and Keigo, Toga and Twice are busy playing with little Tsubasa. Nobody seems to pay him any mind, and he knows that it’s the right timing.

He could just vanish, knowing they’d be well without him. Probably even happy.

When he is sure nobody pays too much attention to him, he goes upstairs to get the bag, without looking at the room again. He heads to the hideout door straightway and quietly puts on a coat before grabbing his shoes.

“Isn’t it a bit late for a walk?”

Dabi’s look snaps over his shoulder. Kurogiri is standing right behind him, tall and watching him with those glowing eyes.

The raven-haired man suddenly feels like a teenager caught doing something wrong by his parents. He hates the feeling, so he grins. “I won’t smoke indoors,” he simply retorts, hoping Kurogiri would fail to notice the bag on the dresser.

Of course, he doesn’t. “Since when do you need a bag for your smoke?”

Dabi shoots him a sharp look. Anger mixes with the dull ache, and he knows this is not good, not good at all. But he can’t bring himself to be spiteful to Kurogiri, who has shown nothing but kindness to him.

“Would you mind your own business?” He asks instead and stands up straight, once he’s done. He gives Kurogiri another side glance as he turns around and takes the bag, reaching for the doorknob.

“You don’t need to return to how you used to be,” Kurogiri doesn’t reach for him, not physically at least.

Dabi turns half-way and squints at the taller man in front of him and more of the anger starts to broil inside, well fed by the ache in his chest. He always hated how people were assuming about how he felt or what he wanted to do… or what was happening to him. “Return?” He asked back and couldn’t hold the sneer out of it. “I can’t return to anything, because I haven’t gone anywhere in the first place,” he growled. “And now,” he taunts, “would you be so kind to fuck off.”

“Tsubasa needs you.”

Dabi sighs. He wants to ignore those words, wants to open the door and just leave, but he can’t bring himself to turn the handle. “He has Hawks. He's a much better father than I am.”

“Keigo needs you too,” Kurogiri points out as if it’s the clearest thing in the world.

“No,” Dabi shakes his head. He has seen Hawks taking care of him, better than he ever could. He understands each and every little chirp the little one produces. They get along so much better than Dabi ever could and it makes him feel helpless in the worst way.

This time, Kurogiri doesn’t argue with him but Dabi sees the way the man watches him with glowing, piercing eyes.

“Whether that’s true or not, don’t you think you should talk to him and how he feels rather than to make decisions for him?” the misty man asks instead.

Dabi doesn’t reply. The other villain gives him a couple of seconds and when it’s clear Dabi wants to stay quiet, he adds. “Nothing is as bad as it seems.”

A burning feeling rises in his chest, and he knows he’d be spitting fire if he opened his mouth now. So he grits his teeth and tries to keep it for himself, the burning rage and the powerlessness that he still knows too well from days long gone.

“You should talk to Keigo,” Kurogiri suggests in such a calm way, it makes something in him crack and burst.

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING THE FUCK I COULD DO!!” Dabi hollers, flames licking over his lips and the seam of his scars. The anger he feels consumes him and he haven’t felt that relieved in ages.

Still, he throws the duffle back against the other man as he passes him by, not accidentally bumping his shoulder. Some other weight pushes down on his chest as he climbs the stairs back up, gritting his teeth to the point it hurt and leaving a trail of smoke from the anger he feels.

It’s a constricting feeling around his throat, when he comes to stand in front of their bedroom. He can’t push that handle either, so he yells “FUCK!!” and turns on his heels and heads straight for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him, sliding down the wooden texture which feels the same as anything else, crouching behind the closed door to hide his face against his knees.

He really doesn’t know what to do, where to go or what to feel and he hates himself for being so lost and angry.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, trying to put his thoughts and mood together. It could be just a couple of seconds together, could be many minutes, Eventually, though, there are three short knocks on the door.

For a moment, Dabi stays how he is. Then, he gulps and somehow manages to keep his voice steady as he replies: “Occupied.”

Nobody replies for another moment. Then, Dabi hears a familiar chuckle before Hawks says: “Yeah, I know you’re in there. Will you let me in now?”

Dabi stills and gulps once more. He doesn’t want to, despite what he said about Hawks, he doesn’t want the other man to see what a mess of a man he is.

But he’s never been one to deny his lover anything. So, he pushes himself off the door and opens it.

He’s really glad for his inability to cry, because it allows him to just stare down on Hawks in what he hopes looks aloof, maybe cold. Maybe, if he keeps his distance, Hawks will tell him to go eventually. It’s a vain thought, because they’re long past that point, but he feels dread as he’s standing in front of the person he loves more than his own life.

“What?” He asks through the tight feeling in his throat. Will that ever go away? His breathing is flat and quicker than it should be and he knows that Hawks could pick up on it easily.

Hawks is alone, thankfully. He stares at Dabi, the golden eyes feel heavy in Dabi’s own, he can feel them sinking into him and he feels bare.

Eventually, the blond slides into the small room with him, closing the door behind himself.

Feeling slightly defeated, Dabi sighs and he sits on the edge of the bathtub. “Where is Tsubasa?”

“He’s sleeping in the bedroom,” Hawks informs him, his tone so gentle, Dabi feels guilt setting over his chest. He knows how hard it is for Hawks to leave the little one with anyone, especially if that anyone isn’t Dabi. He can’t bear his lover’s eyes and looks down.

“What happened?” Hawks asks slowly, almost tenderly.

Dabi gulps, trying to find words but it’s hard underneath Hawks’ eyes. When he feels a small hand on his shoulder, he jerks almost violently.

They both freeze, Hawks more shocked by the movement than him, and he never felt more like a failure in his whole life. He can’t even spare Hawks this, while he has his own plate full of everything that is more important than Dabi.

He reaches out to take Hawks hands and even to him it feels too much like an apology. He still looks aside, as his fingers find Hawks’ and wrap around them gingerly, expecting Hawks to pull away any second.

And they do, making his heart sink and then quickly beat again when they wrap around his. It’s the same gesture, just the other way round. He swallows the sob that wants to leave him.

“Tell me to leave,” he says, asking Hawks without wording a question.

He waits for the words, patient. But they don’t come. What happens instead is that Hawks chuckles. It’s not an amused sound but Dabi still feels somewhat reassured by it. Especially when it comes with reassuring squeeze from Hawks’ hands.

The blond then moves closer. Dabi leans slightly backward to give the other man space and soon, Hawks is sitting on his knee, somehow managing to fold his wings without knocking everything down. Dabi gulps and lets Hawks wraps his arm around his own shoulders, lets Hawks run his fingers through his hair and then kiss Dabi’s temple.

The raven-haired man closes his eyes and despite himself holds Hawks’ waist tighter.

“I would rather tell you to stay,” Hawks murmurs against his temple, gently scratching Dabi’s hair.

He stares up to the ceiling, feeling more undeserving and ungrateful than ever. How can Hawks be so gentle, so caring, so attentive, while all he does is being the worst father there could be. He gulps and shakes his head and tries to face Hawks.

It’s hard. Even more so when he sees that tint of amusement in Hawks golden eyes. They look distant, composed, much more than himself and he hates the turmoil broiling inside him, because he can’t seem to think straight. He can’t have that now. He knows it’s Hawks ways of dealing with things, but he can’t have that now. He feels ridiculed, even though he can’t imagine Hawks seriously making fun of him. But it touches too close to where it hurts.

He pushes Hawks off his lap by getting up, heading to the door. But Hawks holds onto his fingers and doesn’t even let him reach the door. He stands uselessly in the middle of the room, neither being able to look at Hawks, nor able to just head out.

“Why don’t you just let me go?” He asks, breathlessly, voicelessly. It might have been a whimper if he could cry. But he can’t even do that. He has no way to express what he feels and a surge of anger rushes through him again. “There’s nothing I could do for you.”

Hawks comes even closer, pushing away all the barriers he’s been trying to set up. Dabi freezes, unable to do anything about how Hawks puts his arms around him in a gentle hug. “If it weren’t for you, I’d be going crazy,” the blonde admits in a huffed whisper against Dabi’s chest. He’s still frozen, breathing flatly.

“You’re the best father I could imagine,” Dabi whispers truthfully. He doesn’t say how much he thinks of himself as of a failure.

Hawks chuckles again. When he brushes Dabi’s hair backwards, looking up at the man. “Why don’t we share the title?” he asks, cocky.

Dabi shakes his head, gulping loudly. Hawks’ hand moves down to cup his cheek and force Dabi to look him in the eye before he gives him a chaste kiss on the lips. “You love Tsubasa, you care for him and you let me be napping while you take care of him and prepare his food. You are a great father, big guy.”

Dabi sighs but doesn’t pull away when Hawks moves in to kiss his forehead.

The raven-haired man swallows the lump in his through and laughs shortly, wrinkling his nose. “You sound so fucking sappy, pigeon.”

Hawks laughs and gives him yet another chase kiss on lips. He cackles when Dabi makes a rumbling sound but then his expression grows serious. He strokes Dabi’s arms, slowly, biting his lips.

“What is it, little bird?” Dabi asks quietly. He really wishes he could spare Hawks all this. He has enough to put up with, enough to deal with. He doesn’t need another package, another problem to deal with. He leans his forehead against Hawks’ shoulder, understanding too well why people could cry like this. It feels safe, protected, comforting. He wants to say he’s sorry, but those words wouldn’t cross his lips.

“Kurogiri is right,” Hawks says quietly in a monotone voice. He’s lacking his usual cheekiness. It makes Dabi freeze, because it means that Hawks had heard him. Cold panic washes over him. How much does Hawks know? Does he know Dabi wanted to …?

He doesn’t get to finish the thought, because Hawks adds, “I need you.” Thin, but muscular arms wrap around Dabi, but he still can’t move, horrified as he is. How could he still be so kind to him?

“Really, you’re a good father,” Hawks says, still so monotone. “You can calm the little one down better than I can, and you never fail to calm me down when I freak out. You’re an amazing father, and a kind lover…” The arms around him hold a little tighter, and he feels a little trembling in Hawks’ frame.

Immediately, Dabi’s arms lock around Hawks’ frame, pressing him against his chest to make him feel safe and protected. The way in which his body warms up is almost automatic at this point.

But Dabi shakes his head against Hawks shoulder. “I’m a failure,” he claims, all collected and sober. “I don’t know how to deal with children or a family properly. All I can do is snark and think with my dick and…” He bites his tongue at the thought. “It’s not fair to Tsubasa or you. I can barely function as an adult, how can I take care of a child?”

Hawks takes his face in his palms, gently, looking the other man in the eyes, kind and loving. “You are already a better father than most just for thinking about that. Tsubasa loves you. I love you. You help with everything. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

To empower his words, he kisses Dabi again. The villain feels the tension leaving his shoulders under Hawks’ lips. Then, the blond’s hands take him by his own again, squeezing reassuringly. “Let’s go to bed?”

Dabi doesn’t have the strength to deny Hawks. He lets the bird take the lead into their bedroom.

Indeed, Tsubasa is soundly asleep in his cradle now. Dabi can’t resist but step closer to his son and gently caress his cheek with the back of his finger. Hawks’ arms slide around his waist, and he feels the smaller man hide his face between Dabi’s shoulders.

“See?” he hears the blond whisper.

“See what?” He grumbles. “Neither of us has brought him to bed and that’s on me.” He knows he’s sounding sarcastic and that’s the only thing he can do to be honest about the way he feels. He still feels like a failure, ugly and incapable, dysfunctional and irresponsible - even keeping Hawks from their baby with his forsaken issues.

He takes his hand away and turns around again, looking into Hawks’ eyes briefly before ruffling his hair. “Let’s go sleep, birdie,” he says drily, heading towards the bed. He doesn’t even bother with undressing much, only slipping out of his socks before falling down onto the bed. Not that there’d be much point in getting undressed.

Dabi releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding when Hawks climbs after him and embraces him, slowly, and brings him closer. Dabi listens to the calm, slow heartbeat as Hawks long fingers are gently scratching his scalp.

“I talked to Kurogiri and… I’ve been thinking,” Hawks starts and pauses, the arm around Dabi’s waist tightening. “Maybe we could… introduce Tsubasa to your mom.”

The proposal settles heavy on Dabi’s shoulders. He shifts, pressing his body closer against Hawks’.

“I would love to,” his answer surprises even himself. “But how?”

He can’t see Hawks’ face in the darkness, but he knows he is smiling. “We will figure something out.” the blond promises and then Dabi feels the man kiss the top of his head.

The raven-haired man doesn’t argue. He hugs Hawks a little closer and nuzzles his face into Hawks’ neck. “I’m sorry…. I shouldn’t make things about myself like that when he’s around. He should have all your…. our attention.”

Hawks doesn’t reply, but squirms a little in Dabi’s arms and turns around. When Hawks blinks, his eyes shine brightly in the dark blue of night, their gold an enticing contrast. Dabi holds his gaze and gets lost in it. He was never able to think much when Hawks was looking at him like this. With his piercing eyes, Dabi always felt like he could see through him anyway.

There’s a little smile tugging at Hawks’ lips, and he reaches up to cup Dabi’s cheek again.

“Hey, we’re still both human beings with needs and feelings and having a child to take care of doesn’t change that. It’s okay. And I don’t love you less, not for you feeling how you feel and not for Tsubasa being around.” His eyes become a little darker, a little gentler in color. Hawks leans in to kiss Dabi gingerly on the lips.

Something warm spreads inside him with Hawks’ words and he sighs into their kiss, which makes Hawks chuckle a little. When Dabi opens his eyes again, Hawks grins widely at him. “Idiot.”

Dabi doesn’t say anything to that and after a moment of waiting, Hawks tilts his head. “Wait… You don’t really think we’ve been insulting you the whole time, do you?”

He closes his eyes and tries to hide his face in the pillow case, but Hawks is quicker than him, as always. He nestles Dabi’s face in his palm and makes him face Hawks. He complies, after only a moment of weak protest. “I’m sorry if it went too far.”

Dabi just shakes his head, suddenly embarrassed. He was one of those who bickered the most. Suddenly taking things to heart was just pathetic.

“Hey…” Hawks whispers and catches his attention. When he looks at Hawks, the blonde smiles and kisses him again, so warm and sweet it brushes off all darker and heavier thoughts.

“I love you, Touya,” Hawks murmurs against his lips, drawing a sigh from him. The words go straight through his chest, relieving him of all the uneasiness he felt. “Thank you for being here with me. That’s all I need.”

He believes his lover and, for the first time since Tsubasa has been born, he closes his eyes without feeling like a failure.

“I love you, too, Keigo.”

Chapter End Notes

> Rubien: You guys better thank Kii for this chapter because it wouldn't happen without her!

> As always, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. We also decided to add one more chapter. We still have some stuff

## Afterword

End Notes

> Rubien: Soooo… the adventure of little dabihawks baby continues.

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! If you did, please leave us kudos and comments! Thank you so much for reading.

> And again, tahnk you Ada for the inspiration.

> If you want, hit Kii and me up on Twitter, if you are +18!

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